Can someone explain to me why people do things like this?

Question

I know a girl who has always struggled with money and finances. She is always telling me that she doesn't know how she's going to afford the house payment, or the telephone bill, or the groceries for the week, yet she keeps having babies! Then after she has them she starts about the money situation again! I don't understand it and it irks me! Why keep having kids if you can't afford it?

Answer 1

Because she is an irresponsible person. (I resisted the urge to write defamatory words that are normally applied to women such as you describe.)

I have no respect nor pity nor charitable spirit for people like her. If that makes me a bad person, so be it.

Answer 2

I have a sister and a niece who did the same thing. In their minds, having one more wasn't any more expensive than the rest of the "brood" because one more mouth to feed was just the same as the rest. Of course, you and I can probably see the faulty logic, but they really couldn't.

In fact, my niece is already on all the public assistance that she can find -- food stamps, electricity assistance, free rent, Medicare, etc. etc. If she has more, she just gets more money and a bigger apartment. (Her last child was a boy, so she had to get a bigger apartment with more bedrooms, because boys and girls cannot share rooms.)

My sister truly didn't know better, because she was slightly mentally handicapped, and just couldn't apply simple logic to the situation. All she could see was the sweet baby that arrived, and didn't understand the long term financial hardships.

I think some people just get into the "rut" of poverty, and spiral into the trap of public assistance without knowing how to get out. It's easier to get into it more, than working to get out of it.

(After all, it's a lot easier to ask for more assistance than it is to make ends meet with a minimum wage job and pay day care.)

Answer 3

Some people do not believe in abortion or birth control. Others are just having extreme runs of bad luck.

Either way, really it sounds as if you're just tired of hearing her complain about a situation that she creates/worsens herself.

There is no polite way of say "stop having kids and you wouldn't be broke" but you can distance yourself from the conversation. Whenever she starts speaking about her money woes change the subject.

Some people like to complain. This could be her problem. Or maybe she's just not that bright either way...not really your problem.

Answer 4

I can't explain it but I do agree that people are having babies and can't afford them. It isn't only in America other counties have the same problem, babies starving but they keep having more children. The only difference is this country will give them money the more kids you have the more they give. I doubt it will ever change.

Answer 5

First off, each child is a tax advantage as a dependent.

Next, she has what most of us now have...revolving credit and bills up the WAHZOO.

The object of the game is to juggle those bills, making sure you pay them on time, and building up a good credit worthiness.

It's a difficult game, but it's the only game in town.

Lastly, make darn sure you pay yourself first. That means contributing to plans with employers, but avoid traps like investing too much in any one company's stock (i.e.Enron).

She may feel the pains now, but she at least is willing to talk about that, and that's a good idea.

Answer 6

maybe you need to stop dealing withe this person. you will never understand it. especially if she's young. most girls are looking for someone to love them, and when they meet a new guy they think somehow he will be better than the last jerk and stay and take care of her. when she hears enough bs she will understand that first you have to learn to love and respespt yourself before others will do the same. she'll wise up. if she's a good friend sit her down and maybe discuss her options on birth control. some people in this day and ahe are still not aware ore educated enouhg to protect themselves. talk to her and try to help if that's not possible then cut her lose it's not your problem unless you make it yours. take care.

Answer 7

Yes it does take money to have a child but a lot of women love children and want to have lots of them. If you don't have kids you won't understand the kind of love a child brings to your life. I would have more children than the one I have now but I can't afford it...I guess I am one of the few smart ones.

Answer 8

This is someone who has problems. Money is just one of them. She gives no thought to the future. She just goes along and lives her life and hopes for the best. When she starts the complaining, ask to see her budget. Of course, she will not have one. Then say, when you do one, let me look at it and I will try to help you. Maybe that will shut her up.

Answer 9

Just listen, and let it blow out the other ear. Don;t offer no financial help, that is what she is trying to do, get money. Remember she is doing what she wants, if not she would not keep having babies.

Answer 10

No one should bring children into this world if they can hardly provide for themselves. This is so unfair to the children. Maybe, if she spent more time working instead of having sex, she wouldn’t have this problem.