i was married for 26 years my husband suddenly went with another woman no warning our house got sold leaving my son daughter myself homless while he lives it up in comfort with my sons best freinds mother my son an daughter now have houses of there own now but my son is still in denial of it all drinking very heavy help what can i do please .
2007-01-28 04:18:46 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your son is 22, and responsible for his own actions. If he wants to become a useless drunk, he will. There is nothing you, or anybody can do. Pretending that he's some helpless victim won't help him. Let him reap the fruits of his own drinking. DON'T prop him up, or excuse his silliness. If and when he ends up arrested for drunk driving, or loses his job- let him live in a shelter or on the street. He'll either grow up, or he'll stay a drunken kid, blaming everything on his Daddy. Don't buy it.
2007-01-28 05:16:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I also am 46 with a son of 24. Close to 2 years ago his father took his own life and our son reacted in much the same way.
You have one option I didn't have tho, your ex-husband. He needs to be the one to help his son to accept the situation.
Not knowing if you and the ex are even speaking, I would suggest that you discuss this with him. The two of you should be mature enough to go to your son together and express your concerns for his drinking but even more important his feelings. Just because he is grown does not mean that he wouldn't have problems with this, especially since you say it was so sudden. My guess is that he has issues with his father that need to be addressed. Your ex should be there for him as well as you.
2007-01-28 04:51:44 · answer #2 · answered by Ande 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's so bad about that age difference, Love is Love.. I mean maybe if she's rich and buys him mass **** and keeps him stable that could be a reason he's with her.. But if that's not the case you should just leave him alone, maybe he's actually happy.. or when he was younger you didn't give him the right attention so he looks at older woman to fill that missing need you never gave him. Think that. Xoxox - Love , Marisa <3
2016-03-29 06:26:53 · answer #3 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The man he thought he knew for 22 yrs has betrayed his trust, disrespected his mom and deserted his family. He is not in denial, he is hurting and very angry. At his age he is old enough to confront his dad for some answers. They wont be plausable, or good answers, but it will be something. His dad has been the biggest influence in his life. I know he must have posessed some good qualities to pass on to his son. Your son needs to hang on to those, and learn from his dads mistakes. His drinking is only masking what he needs to confront. You can only be a comfort to your son if he comes to you.Remind him that his drinking will only destroy him, and he needs to stop. Show him you are okay in spite of what has happened. The rest is up to him.
2007-01-28 04:39:32 · answer #4 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your son is an adult and needs to learn to deal and cope with this on his own... You will need counseling and help for the pain your are feeling so that you can move on with your life over time. Your son will have to realize he has a problem and admit it and go for help to try to deal with it in a more positive way... You cannot change him or choose his path for him.
2007-01-28 04:28:02 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your son is an adult. I know you feel his pain but he is going to have to deal with it. Try to talk to him about getting some help (counselling etc.) but I know he probably isn't going to listen right now, he's angry and hurt. All you can do is pray for him and be there for when he does want to talk...but if he's living in his own home, he's living his own life and there really isn't anything you can do "for" him until he's ready to get some help.
2007-01-28 05:09:30 · answer #6 · answered by anna 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My question about my teenage daughters has been well answered and it may be good for you to look at that question. I am also arranging for two of my daughters to have counselling which I think may help them, as nothing that happened was their fault and they have to realise that. Also to know that whatever happens, both their parents love them dearly and hate the sadness and grief that has been caused by my husbands infidelity and his move out of our lives. Live life and ever onwards!!
2007-01-28 08:42:43 · answer #7 · answered by poglette 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You continue to be his mom and his safe harbour. he must be very confused, his world has fallen apart and his dad has gone with another mum that he knows, possibly quite well.
Let him move on at is own pace, you cannot live his life for him. If you suggest counselling he might run a mile, but he needs time to think and work this out for himself. Give him routine and stability and talk to someone from RELATE or CAFCASS if you think they can assist.
2007-01-28 05:30:21 · answer #8 · answered by kenjinuk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please help me! are you saying that your 22 yr old son is drinking because of your divorce from his father, or has he been drinking due to his on private issues ? do you have 4 children
or 2 , if they are grown what is your point , if you did not get 50%
of what the law says is you're go back to court. the marriage is over are you in denial?
2007-01-28 05:01:31 · answer #9 · answered by Tennessee Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what your husband did rocked his world, takes time to face reality and get out of denial. he is trying to drown the pain by drinking it away. this has been hard on your son, he is probably suffering from depression, trying any way he knows to escape the pain. he hasn't yet accepted what dad did, he may need some therapy to help him through this.
2007-01-28 04:28:03 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋