I got severe trust issues, cos ive been let down and hurt repeatedly by people who were supposed to loveme and be there for me. this left me being stiff, not able to show love or any feelings for others, not depend on others for anything, not social, not finding pleasure in anything so i wouldn't be hurt if it were to be taken away from me etc. this has lost me friends and ppl i really cared for. what should i do? i would like to trust ppl, but im too afraid.
2007-01-28 03:37:45 · 10 answers · asked by alexisvisjnic 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ask yourself a questions:
1. Am I seeing situations and people's motives as they truely are?
Often when we are at our weakest, disappointed and hurt by the actions of someone we've called a friend, we become jaded. We imagine that the whole world is letting us down and that there is no one to count on. We forget that the one's that let us down were the same one's that lifted us up in our time of need. We forget all the good qualities that made them a special part of our lives in the first place.
When we are hurt we do not want to forgive. It is not human nature. We do not want to hear "people are human" and "forgive and forget". We only feel distraught and angry for relying on someone that did not come through.
But, have you ever let someone down? Did you do it intentionally? Probably not. And so it is with your own circle of family and friends.
True, there are those individuals out there that could care less about your feelings or well being. But these are not typically "your friends".
To develop/maintain a strong relationship of any kind you must open yourself up to the possiblity of pain. Every new friend or significant other is doing the same for you.
If you can't forgive those that have hurt you, make new friends. Surround yourself with different people but know that at some point they will disappoint you too. It is enevitable.
The answer is you can't prevent being hurt by another person. Trying will leave you lonely and bitter. You must take that risk like everyone else does when beginning/continuing a relationship.
2007-01-28 04:15:53 · answer #1 · answered by HatingF8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't fully trust people until you want to. Everyone gets hurt and let down- especially by others. Instead of wasting time wondering why and playing the what if game, allow yourself time to heal- and I mean fully heal. Then open yourself up for new friendships and relationships. Good luck to you!
2007-01-28 11:43:31 · answer #2 · answered by kellilicious5 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah it is not easy to regain trust in people especially if you have been hurt so bad. what you should do is give some people a chance to prove you wrong and try to let your guard down. YOu need to enjoy the moment, maybe those you are with will turn out nice. dont give up.. otherwise, you should seek professional help
2007-01-28 11:47:09 · answer #3 · answered by gone 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i kno exactly wat u feel - i solved - or am solving this problem by not necesarilly cutting off peoplebut in a way judging individually wether or not thier trust worthy - you do this by making them build up thier own trust with you (like you wouldn't tell anyone your deepest darkest secrets the first five minutes u meet them )- just slowly build up ur relationships and you'll really be able 2 see who u can trust by just little things you pick up like whetther they talk about people or wether they keep promises to other people - but everyone has thier own style - thiis is mine
good luck :)
2007-01-28 11:46:45 · answer #4 · answered by kiss_of_a_dreamer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a slow process. dont feel bad that you are having trouble trusting but do know that you have to take chances to be able to trust again. Take small steps that will show you that it is okay to trust people and you will get there!
2007-01-28 11:45:18 · answer #5 · answered by rachie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been there, and it's a long slow process but you can get there. First find yourself a good psychologist and most important trust and believe in yourself. Good luck.
2007-01-28 11:52:20 · answer #6 · answered by Lorayne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't afford to go for counseling, then you need to work on you, first buy books, on self esteem, them you have to realize that you need to learn to trust, if you want someone to trust you, remember everyone is not alike! You have to work on trust, if not you will be carrying this baggage with you for life, so find out what tools you need to work on, and go to work. Then you have to surround your self with positive people.
2007-01-28 11:50:40 · answer #7 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with you. I'm not there, yet, either. Trust in yourself. to be more assure of yourself. Before getting involved again. Maybe you'll find someone before I do. Good Luck!
2007-01-28 11:43:26 · answer #8 · answered by Goggles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to counseling. You can't live your life like that. We all need family and friends to help us when we are down. Otherwise you are going to get depressed and that is not good.
2007-01-28 11:42:19 · answer #9 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i would say have confidence in urself,,,,,
u r good ,,,, dont think u loose people,,, just make ur thinking positive,,, let people say,,,
coz u should never be content with others defination of you, instead define urself by ur own ways, truth...
2007-01-28 11:46:07 · answer #10 · answered by Hitesh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋