is one of those types of people who say that they don't cave into the materialistic holidays and celebrations? For example, Valentine's Day. We've been married for 12 years, have 2 kids and I haven't seen anything for Valentine's day since before our first child - who is 9 years old! I love sentimental things and I miss it. He's cheap and thinks things like giving flowers is a waste of money. He got me flowers at the birth of both my children...thank GOD. What can I do? Anyone else with this issue?
2007-01-28 03:12:22 · 21 answers · asked by TML ♥'er 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Regardless of how HE feels about it ... if you value such events, it would be the loving thing to do, for him to honor your needs and give a gift, etc. Isn't that a part of what love is about? ... going beyond our own selves is important in showing we love others.
2007-01-28 03:34:32 · answer #1 · answered by yewnique 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Valentines day is for beginners, lady. My guess is that he does other things, and probably more important things to show his appreciation. Appreciation shouldn't be limited to how much money he spends on you, should it? Look for the good instead of the bad. I view valentine's day gift giving as a compensation for neglecting your loved one. Every day is valentine's day for the little reasons such as his being a provider and supporter to the family 365 days a year. Being financially secure and reliable is much more important than a few dieing roses once a year. Just how many wives out there are desperate to have a responsible man? And here's a q that might hit you between the eyes...
When was the last time you got HIM something for valentine's day? Don't hold him up to expectation you don't have for yourself.
2007-01-28 11:58:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should challenge your husband. Tell him, "Fine, don't buy me anything. But it's still a holiday about expressing love, and I want you to express your love to me." You could even give him a few suggestions:
1. Make you a romantic dinner.
2. Write you a love letter.
3. Give you a bath followed by a baby oil massage.
4. Come home during your lunch hour for a quickie.
5. Etc.
It's about you wanting to feel special to him, right? If he does something romantic for you, you can both keep your principles AND have a great Valentine's. Tell him so.
2007-01-28 12:16:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haha............unfortunetly it sounds like you married the average run of the mill white guy with no sense of romance. Like most relationships in the united states, they usually start of strong and end on a weak note(or at least cool the f uck down after marriage). Look i would say "just talk with him" but thats a lame cliche answer that will get you nowhere. You need to give your man some options. Tell him he needs to take time out of the month to really date you again and make your dreams of a happy marriage come true(give kids to babysitters for the night). You can show him how much cheaper a few dates a month will be as opposed to a divorce (complete with lawyers and alimony). I hope this helps.
2007-01-28 11:44:27 · answer #4 · answered by "the Otter" 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Show him respect and unconditional respect and soon he will be eating out of your hands.
PS Valentines Day is a shop gimmick to get people to buy trash. You give him a card and something. Tell him you love him and tell him what you respect about him and watch and see what happens in your marriage.
Buy the book Love and Respect by Dr Emerson Eggerichs. It is an amazing book and just what one needs to heal a marriage.
Read it over and over and when you change he will follow. It worked for me and many others. It will work for you too.
God bless you both.
2007-01-28 11:23:57 · answer #5 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems odd not to want to make your wife happy.
"cave into the materialistic holidays?"
Sounds so mean to say to someone who just wants flowers from time to time.
My suggestion is that you do it to him, do sentimental things for him. Maybe he will see that it feels good and will return the favor.
Cuz it sounds like you have told him that these things make you happy, and it just doesn't get it.
2007-01-28 11:19:49 · answer #6 · answered by brytezes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love all the holidays specially valentines day! Last year i spent over 600 dollers on candles stuffed animals rose petals and all that stuff...its just one of my favorite times...i always tell him every year i bet get some flowers! haha even if were just joking i still tell him and every year i get flowers ...ive had a bad day at work hell come bring flowers....i dont feel well hell bring flowers....id just stragiht up tell your man flowers are cheap at walmart go take a trip and see haha goodluck to you sweetie but hell never know unless you dont tell him! goodluck!
2007-01-28 11:42:46 · answer #7 · answered by cutenwild1769 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well flowers are nice to get I love them, they do die quick. I would be very upset if my husband was like that. Is there anything you can think of that you might need, were he wouldnt feel like he is wasting his money. He could take you out for dinner and a movie.
2007-01-28 11:31:56 · answer #8 · answered by evilgrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know quite a few people like this, well I know you have put up with it this for so long, and I am sure you still can't get use to it. Some things we have to deal with. I believe in the Serenity Prayer, except the things we cannot change! But life still goes on. Be Happy!
2007-01-28 11:20:14 · answer #9 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What has helped my marriage is putting God first in our life. Praying. Prayer is very powerful. The Lord has restored my almost dead marriage and all this was done through lots of prayers my friend. Nothing is impossible with the Lord. Reading "Power of a praying Wife" and "Power of a praying Husband" by Stormie Omartian has helped lots too.
I pray the best.
God Bless!
2007-01-28 13:14:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents have been married for 40 years and my father has always given her things on Valentine's day. I don't think my father cares very much for Valentine's day but he does it because he knows how much it means to my Mom (she loves attention, lol). Talk to him and let him know that you miss those types of things and how much it means to you.
2007-01-28 11:40:03 · answer #11 · answered by Shay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋