okay so ive been closeted for a while now... but i think it may be obvious to some friends. anyway. lately my youth group sunday morning class has been going over "deep and hard" subjects, including abortion, etc. and im terrified that they may do sexuality... what do i do or say. as you may have guessed many of these people are homophobic. including my brothers. suggestions.
2007-01-28 02:56:47 · 28 answers · asked by Derrec 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
ps. i want to stay with a church. im a christian i don't think that will ever change. so i would like tips on how to handle it not to loose god or stop going to chruch. thanks
2007-01-28 03:44:13 · update #1
unless you are ready to come out, then say little as possible and keep your comments along the line of compassion. I also try to steer the conversation in other ways. This would mean being more of a leader in the conversation, you have take control of the conversation so you can steer it the way you want it. It'll take practice but it will leave you feeling more comfortable with the way the conversation went.
2007-01-28 03:05:02 · answer #1 · answered by bosco6159 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
One of the anwswers here said something about a Unitarian Church. I go to one of those now. They are Christian, but they truly accept any background you may have. At the one I go to, there was recently a male who asked for (and gained) the support of the congregation for a sex-change. He (now she) has a very tight relationship with the female, lesbian, youth leader. Everyone is very accepting and respectful of the relationship and the sex-change. It's very amazing!
As you can probably tell, though, the Unitarian Church is not exactly very conservative. I don't know your background, but "homophobia" within the church normally means conservatism as well. If this is the case, your parents may need some convincing to let you go to such a liberal church. I took a while for me with my mom, and I ended up just having to ask my dad to convince her. She still, after several months, won't step a foot into the Unitarian Church!
But anyway, good luck. I'm really rooting for you, no matter what it is you decide to do!
2007-01-28 04:06:04 · answer #2 · answered by rapunzel 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My first thought is to tell you not to go. You are fairly young and your parents may have a problem with that (unless you are studying for a big exam or such).
Many people are homophobic, but the reality is that there will PROBABLY be more than one kid in your youth group that does not have problems with gay people.
The other point is that Christians ate not supposed to be living under Levitical Law; Christians live under grace. If this is so, then being gay is no more an issue that eating a bowl of clam chowder while wearing a Poly/Cotton shirt.
Your relationship with the Divine, whichever name you use for the Divine, is your own. It is private and personal. You don't have to let yourself absorb their opinions as your own.
2007-01-28 03:24:55 · answer #3 · answered by knightofsappho 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to sit and listen, You may be surprised that the people of this church are more accepting than you think.
The purpose of religion is to help you create and maintain a closer relationship to God. If worshipping with this church helps you to do this, then you should stay and work out any differences over your sexuality. If not, maybe you should find another church where you can become close to God.
2007-01-28 03:52:43 · answer #4 · answered by TED B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I know, judging from the other responses that i'm going to get a "thumbs down", but I'm just stating my opinion. While I have Several gay/lesbian friends, I do not condone the lifestyle. I understand that they feel they were born gay/lesbian, but I don't buy that. That said, I don't understand the concept of following a religion that specifically says that something is wrong, and then continuing the behavior, then worrying if trouble will come of it. That makes me think that deep down, you know it's wrong...that's why you're "closeted". However, I believe that just like with any other sin, there is forgiveness (and you must believe in this at least a little if you are going to church regularly), and homosexuality is no different.
I also believe that your church would be wrong to point you out in any way because they wouldn't do that with any other sin....(say a cheating spouse, or pregnant 45 year old unmarried woman), but it is their job to accept you, and guide you.
2007-01-28 03:48:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Church is one thing and outside of church is another. If your going to open up to the church crowd, be very prepared that they will "pray" for you since you are gay and it's against the bible. Be prepared to have many "lectures" about the church being against the gay community and why. The pressure on you will be unbearable and will most likely leave you in a state of confusion. Why do that to yourself. If you are going to go and participate. Sit and listen. You will then understand where each person is coming from and what each person has to say about it. If you are sensing that it is anti-gay, then stay reserved and don't bring any questions on that may indicate that you are gay, if you don't want the hassle. Good luck.
2007-01-28 03:06:50 · answer #6 · answered by Weasel Girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop going to church. The hatred that they spew (in the name of their god) is hypocritical seeing that a good many of their members are gay themselves. Hello Rev. Ted Haggard. There is nothing wrong with you. It's the buybull thumpers that are wrong. They believe in a book of fairy tales written by men 2,000 years ago and base their whole lives on this.
They are hateful people who think nothing of destroying young peoples lives by their venomous attacks on gay people.
As other posters have stated, be true to yourself and remove yourself from these evil hypocrites.
2007-01-28 03:17:32 · answer #7 · answered by whitesoxr1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not have to agree or disagree with any subject. Just be yourself and you will be fine. Your sexuality has nothing to do with anything. If you let these bible bangers know your business they will preach at you even though they are not supposed to judge. The bible bangers are the most judge-mental of all. Church is ok as long as they live and breath the golden rule--Do Unto Others------!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-28 03:27:51 · answer #8 · answered by kim j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi from england.
Well the bible the say that in the "IN THE EYES OF GOD ALL HUMANKIND ARE EQUAL so theefore when we depart this mortal coil its between you and god. The churches of this world are filled with homophobics, you live your life you have been proud of your achievments as much as your frineds and family are. NOW BE PROUD TO BE GAY, YOU ARE GAY FOR YOU NOT YOUR FAMILY. GOOD LUCK TO YOU,
2007-01-28 03:09:10 · answer #9 · answered by dave c 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No need to hide your sexuality.If others can't accept the way you are and what your desires are ,,then they have the problem ,,not you .You are who you are and shouldn't be judged by others because of it ,, if one is a racist then that person may be thinking wrong ,although he / she is entitled to their opinion as well and thier own preference same as you .. theres no wrong and no right .least it hasnt been proven yet. maybe another doesnt like the name for example .. ill use "david" (no pun meant for those have hte name david ...that is only an example ) Is david wrong for having that name ..? no so therefore you are not in the wrong either :) enjoy !! Id also like to include that Jesus accepts all ~ty~
2007-01-28 03:07:58 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋