low self-esteem, feeling ugly?

Question

I have very low self-esteem. I have these stretch marks on my calves and upper arms since puberty (I'm now 28) and they are white silvery now, very unsightly, 2-3 inches in length. I have brown skin so they really show. Wearing shorts and sleeveless was never in my vocabulary. I know they are here forever. Also, I had a freak accident when I was little and my left pinkie finger has a flexion deformity as its tendon was cut. Now, I'm seeing this new guy and I'm very afraid of how he would react to find out these imperfections that I have. I really love him. I really dont feel good about myself. I try to think that I'm luckier that I am normal and I do not have any disease or anything....but when I see other people who dont have these problems that I do, I feel really bad. What should I do?!!

Answer 1

Nobody is perfect! Everyone has something that makes them unique. You should not worry about what you look like on the outside. The guy that you are dating is with you because he likes you. He thinks you are intresting kind and smart. He also thinks that you are attractive! It is so cliche but true that true beauty is found within. So concentrate on being a smart interesting person because that is all that really matters.

Answer 2

if you really feel that badly about your slight imperfections, you would do something to try change how you feel about your body as a whole. if you were to turn your negative inner voice, into a positive motivator, you could over come this sensitivity, and change your life. you should start by excersising regularly, and eating a healthy, balanced diet, you should also join a gym and tone up your body . then you will find that the compliments you receive about how great your body looks etc.will distract anyones attention from a crooked little finger, or some silvery lines on a sexy, fit body. you will lose your new man if you get hung up what you cant change, so do something with what you have and losen up a bit.

Answer 3

People love us for who we are inside and not for the scars or imperfections on the outside. This is more of a problem you have with yourself about how you feel and people are not going to love who you are any less because of these imperfections. Stop knocking yourself and love yourself because you are a good person, as you said you are a normal person, you deserve to be loved. The vibes of negativity you give off will rub off onto others and if you think you are not worthy so will they. Let your beauty shine and the scars will fade and will not be noticed because of who you are inside. It will show through the smile on your face and by what you are saying, but if all you are saying is negative things about yourself, people will eventually tire of hearing it and not want to be around you. Keep your chin up and remember things could be worse, you may have some small scars but they don't rule who you are inside.

Answer 4

This question is all about you and since i have nothing better to do i will help you. Its just simple things, the mind can be tricked into many things. Tell yourself you are beautiful, boost yourself up. Say it aloud even, scream it, just make yourself believe it and you should because everyone is beautiful. Im sure you have at least one great thing about yourself. Say I am a beautiful, sexy, charismatic woman and im damn proud about it. Almost inject arrogance into yourself, create an alter-ego if you must. Just pretend your bigger and better than everyone and when you walk into a room, tell yourself your the best person in there. (Dont be too arrogant, its not a nice trait) Just be happy with who you are and think about all the less fortunate people out there who dream of having the life you have and are taking for granted. YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL! =)

Answer 5

Don't let this bother you. None of us have a perfect body. When a member of the opposite sex is attracted to you it is not by looks alone. It about you, what he sees in you. I felt the way you do after my near death experience with a diseased gall bladder. I was afraid the scar left would turn off my partner. She accepts me for the kind of person I am, not for some perfectly formed skin. You will be ok

Answer 6

Don't worry about your inperfections! Guys like myself look for good personality. If he's smart he'll look beyond your imperfections and see the real you. You can not live your life wishing you were someone else. You are You and that is that. Love your self. Any one or any guy that judges you on your stretch marks is a complete loser. He'll never be happy because NO ONE is perfect...trust me. Hope I helped!

Answer 7

well first you need to find a councelor, I am a older woman and I can tell you of no intellegent person I know that hasn't been in councling at some point in their life. Everyone needs a different point of view from time to time.
In this socoeity its normal that you should feel uncomfortable with your stretch marks. Perhaps you can find a plastic surgeon that is sympathtic, and will help you at a discount.
I would check with social services at a womans clinic. Good luck

Answer 8

our culture is hell bent on slim and slender. We want to make love to the beautifull and turn our backs on the homley, and less fortunate.I have not yet found a lady friend yet, that cannot get past the gray hairs and big tummy. I want love and touch, just like every one else.
Looks like a good deal of people cannot see the difference between fantisy and reality

Answer 9

You can use make-up to cover it up. Love is how you feel for another person not their looks. Don't get me wrong looks sometimes helps at beginning but after you start felling for person it should not be about looks. Very one has good and bad points so you have this another person have another problem. Feel good about yourself then others will to

Answer 10

I'm sure he isn't physically perfect either. No-on is. If the first time he sees you naked is in the shower, with him, soaping him all over, he isn't going to notice stretch marks.