do i need a doctor??

Question

i am a guy brought up by my mother as my father stays away she hates the girl i love and she hates when people talk abt my relation coz she doesnt like anyone in my life i am really scared of her coz she can go to any extent of emotional blackmail like killing herself and eating pills if i dont listen to her i cant tell her how much i love my gf bcoz she will kill me my prob is she keeps on spying me and keeps a track of my phone calls and everything i am hating this what shouild i do i get am having mental problems which i cant explain to anyone please give me a good solution

Answer 1

Sounds like you have some co-dependency issues here - don't worry - everyone does to some extend - part of the human condition. Maybe seeing a therapist is what you need to do or check out an AL-Anon meet (12-step group) that deals with co-dependency issues. All these issues are really your mom's and the problem here is that you are making them your own. I am assuming you aren't that old (are you still in high school?) so you can't just move out of the house on your mom. I would tell you this is all part of a sickness your mother has and what she is doing is like a sick person will do they will act sick. Realize that is what is going on with her and don't make her issues yours. It is crazy to tell someone you will hurt yourself if they don't stop something. Don't let that insanity harm you.

Good Luck!!!

Answer 2

This is abuse. More specific it is emotional abuse and it stinks. Talk to a professional if you can't get away. The best thing to realize is that she (your mom) may not ever change. These type parents are manipulative, know that the children have nowhere else to go, so they exploit the situation.
These are the most pathetic parents ever and the fact they can reproduce makes me nauseous.
It takes a tremendous amount of courage to walk away from an abusive parent because they leave so much emotional baggage on the brain until you can't think straight. This situation is as abusive as a man who beats his wife or vice versa.
No, your mother doesn't want your gf and u to be successful because a) she's afraid to lose her control (power over your life) b) your girl might tell you that your Mom is abnormal and you might start to see the light c)she might be jealous that you have love which she may not have d) she feels that you owe her some intangible something that she can't name or obtain.

Don't waste your life trying to be something for your mother that you were never, intended by nature to be. Extricate yourself, Remove youorself from that situation . No, your mother won't kill you but if you really feel threatened call the police. Tell them that you are in an abusive situation and want help to leave it. Talk to anyone that will listen. There are non-profit agencies that will help you. Best wishes.
As far as do you need a doc? Possibly, you want to undo any damage that your Mom has done so that it is not permanent.
Also, your Mom needs help too, in my opinion. She needs to learn how to relate to her child in a positive, non-controlling manner.
Family counseling might be an option later but first you both need to work on your problems independently. Strength comes from doing to work. Do the work. Get busy!
And lastly, do not keep your mother's secrets. Tell! Tell! Tell! You do not need to keep her secrets; she needs help and so do you.
Confide in someone that can help, not just your peers.

Answer 3

If you are still financially dependent on her, first study well and take up a job. And then, tell her that you have now grown up and would like to lead your own life. While you love her, it is time to cut the apron strings. If needed, pl. move out for some time and stay separately. Go ahead and marry the girl of your choice. If your mother accepts her fine, else not to worry, it is your life.

Answer 4

This woman is paranoid and so possessive as to be delusional. I suggest a complete break from her - just leave without telling her where you're going. It may be hard, but it'll be worth it.
If you're under 18, plan this carefully so that you won't get returned home as a minor.