Ok well im 15 and my bf is 16. I'm really really really in love with him. A few months ago we broke up for 2 days, and he just told me last night that during those two days he got drunk did some stuff with his ex [the one he broke up with for me] and now they have a kid on the way. at first i started freaking out and screaming at him then he started ignoring me [he hates it when i cry] and i told his mom to tell him its over, well she started telling me i need to seriously think about this, she said that i can choose to walk away or stay, but if i chose to leave he might not make it through, but then if i stay im gonna have to have his ex and their baby in my life forever, and im gonna have to deal with him paying attention to them. i'm gonna have to give up alot and become a step mom to this baby at age 15....... what should I do?
2007-01-28 02:32:56 · 28 answers · asked by Just Me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
For those saying im too young to be dealing with this.......... i realize that thank you very much! i didnt ******* ask for this so please dont be mean to me about it. im just asking for advice, not a lecture!
2007-01-28 02:47:00 · update #1
Forget about the boyfriend and go to school and enjoy the rest of your childhood. You are still a child and shouldn't be burdened with these kinds of problems.
(PS: your boyfriend is still a child, too, and seems even more immature than you!).
2007-01-28 02:37:17 · answer #1 · answered by lesroys 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1st of all - you're not a step mom because you're not married. The baby is not your issue, responsibility, or concern
2nd - If you decide to stay with your boyfriend, then this baby is one more thing that he has to deal with in his life... it means less time with you, but not more responsibility FOR you.
3rd - you need to really consider what kind of guy goes out and sleeps with a girl a few hours after he'd broken up with another girl...
4th - are you having sex with your boyfriend? You realize that you are only 15 right and you should not be having sex. Do you want to be a 16 year old mother? NO birth control is 100%
5th - "he hates it when I cry" I realize that you're bf is only 16, but this kind of statement should make you realize that he is not emotionally mature at all. "he started ignoring me," is another sign...
It's my personal opinion that you should just cut your losses. I don't think this is the kind of situation you need to be in at 15. It's pretty obvious to me that if you break up with your bf, he's just going to go back to the baby's mother, anyway, which is probably for the best all around.
AND DON'T HAVE SEX UNTIL YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE A BABY!!
2007-01-28 10:41:58 · answer #2 · answered by Tiff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His mom told you "if i chose to leave he might not make it through." Run away. Run away and don't look back. You will end up being the step-mother of your boyfriend, and a surrogate mother to his child. In all honesty, the best thing for the child would be for your boyfriend to get back together with his ex.
Lets say there was no baby on the way. Your boyfriend is drunk at 16. Cheated on you after being broken up for less than 48 hours. His mom is bossing you around. His mom is trying to make you responsible for her irresponsible child. His mom is trying to make you the one responsible for him, instead of stepping up and saying, I am his mother, I will handle the situation. He sounds like a mommas boy, and will try to make you his mommy.
Give yourself a few years to figure out who you are, and then find yourself a real man. Tell your boyfriend congratulations on the new baby. It should be very exciting for him and his other girlfriend.
2007-01-28 10:42:51 · answer #3 · answered by sandcatsle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 15. Run, leave, and don't look back. If your BF is too irresponsible to keep his you know what to himself and not use protection then you'll be the next unwed mother. YOU have no business even thinking about this. You have school to finish, and a life to build and trying to do that with a child is foolish and unfair to the child.
Don't be selfish, but don't be foolish, and it would be foolish to stay with this BOY who doesn't have the responsibility of a rock. As for his mother and her guilt trip, tell her to take a hike because obviously she hasn't got a clue. If she did she would take her BOY by the ear and beat some sense into him.
Leave, run, run fast and don't let some idiot direct your life, do it for yourself, your future and your own peace of mind, but do it now and live to lead a happy fulfilling life in the future.
2007-01-28 11:06:18 · answer #4 · answered by Stephen D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW....well first of all you are not stuck in this situation. You are only 15 and you have so much ahead of you. Don't let this guy tie you down. You say you love him but who would lay this on you? He made the screw up not you. And I can not even believe his mom would tell you that if you didn't stay he may not make it through it! That's ridiculous. He will. And if he doesn't it's not your fault...It's his screw up! You need to tell him that you love him very much but you can not and will not share this berdon with him. I know it's hard and I know you love him but this is best for you and your future. Don't let him or his mom manipulate you because it's your future they're screwing with. Have you talked to your parents or anyone really close to you? They'll tell you the same thing if they consider what's best for you.
2007-01-28 10:39:53 · answer #5 · answered by rigby88 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off his mother telling you if you do not stay he may no make it through this is a wrong answer on her part. As a mature grown mother and grandparent I tell you this mother is using you darling. She is not thinking of you she is thinking of her son. You cannot be a step mother for Goodness Sake you are still a baby yourself at 15. Get away stop placing a life time burden on your young shoulders. Walk away from this boy wishing him well. Go on with your life and I promise you at 25 your going to wish you could find the lady on answers to hug her for directing you in the best direction for you. Please walk away and show this to his mom because she needs a smack in the face responding to you the way she did. I am confident as well your parents would tell you to STOP THINK and WALK away. Your parents are telling you the best at this time for you. COME ON ALL OTHER ADULTS OUT THERE PLEASE STEP IN AND HELP THIS YOUNG LADY, Thanks
2007-01-28 10:38:58 · answer #6 · answered by chattylady47150 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cannot believe his Mother would even suggest that you stick it out!!!! First he cheats on you and then he expects you to throw your life away because of HIS mistake.You are only 15. I know you love this boy but he is irresponsible and selfish. Do you think he was thinking about you when he got his ex pregnant? Why should you pay for his mistake for the rest of your life. His mother is worse than he is. It is unforgivable for her to put this responsibility on you. You have so much to look forward to in your life. Please, please, walk away from these people. They do not have your best interests at heart. Get out. Live your life. Go to school. Hang out with your friends. Get support from people around you...your family, friends, a school councilor. Be strong, Honey.
2007-01-28 10:50:07 · answer #7 · answered by sisterdynomite 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should do what you think is good for you but i believe you are too young to deal with this kinda stuff. Actually i think you are too good for that guy and you don't need him. I know you are in love with him but there is a tonne of guys out there who you could fall in love with and who will definitely love you back and you still have a long time to live.
Hope you make the right decision
2007-01-28 10:43:00 · answer #8 · answered by kiwi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahhh, I remember u now, u were the one wearing the dirty halter top on springer last week. Sure stay with the guy he looked worth it, 16 cheating lill worthless punk with his momma in the back ground screamin PLS stay w/ my kid and become yet another statistic. Yay! what a wonderful future to look at. bottom line its called sarcasm sweetheart, u should know better, get the hell away now. You have no obligations. YET till the punk knocks u up.
2007-01-28 13:13:17 · answer #9 · answered by dntwannahearurshlt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW!!! okay who said you were going to marry this dude? not trying to be harsh or anything cause im 15 too but you dont have to stress about this! i mean you need a man who doesnt go to his ex and get her pregnant! you need a man who loves you and only you! you can still be friends with you bf and hang with him and his child but the baby thing is his problem not yours!
BEST OF LUCKâ¥
2007-01-28 11:07:45 · answer #10 · answered by ♥la chica♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids are a big hassle. Trust me...they get on your nerves and they are there even when you don't want them there. At fifteen you aren't emotionally ready to take care of a baby, let alone one that isn't yours. I would stick by your decision. Don't stay with him just becasuse he is going through a rough time. Since it isn't you that is having the baby, it isn't your responsibility and if you don't feel you're ready, trust your instincts.
2007-01-28 10:37:54 · answer #11 · answered by Lola 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋