she spends the time she is awake on this pc, i leave for work at 5.30am and return at 7pm, i then have to start the dinner, bathe our 2yr old daughter, tidy up as best i can, she says she is depressed, if so why does she spend all her time online? i feel i cant take much more, i want out of this mind numbing depressing relationship, but, i love her, i want to help her, just dont want to be her mug.
2007-01-28 02:25:10 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're not the only one with this situation. The bottom line is that women are lazy! Get rid of the PC or at least the internet connection and she'll have to get off her lazy ****.
2007-01-28 13:42:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's a serious problem you guys are having, but also pretty common- you might try to get involved in some activity she used to enjoy to start pulling her out of the depression. If she is the only form of childcare you guys have, that could make it hard on her depression in that she will be trapped all the time with this life-changing creature.
You could also discuss with her if she would rather go out and earn the money so you could stay home and take care of things, since it sounds like you may be more proficient at it.
The other possibility, if money allows, is to hire a cleaning person to come in, or someone to look after the baby once in a while. The problem with your situation is that even if you are totally in the right- it doesn't usually matter when it comes to things like housework- most people have this problem wind up getting a cleaning service if they can afford.
As for your wife though, it sounds like she needs to get out of a rut- you should talk to her about therapy, and see if there's a way you can help her get back into the world- sometimes gentling works and sometimes a bit of tough love is required.
2007-01-28 02:37:40 · answer #2 · answered by plunger 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not every woman constantly thrives at being a stay at home mother. How much does your partner get out of the house? It sounds like she may be using the internet to feel connected to the outside world.
Getting her out of the house as much as possible will help her with the depression. Take her somewhere in the evenings (or let her go on her own) as often as you can. (but mix it up, dont' take her to the same place every day). I've done the stay at home mom thing, and I don't drive, so I literally stayed at home ALL the time. Spending an hour and a half at Starbucks or Dairy Queen could make all the difference in the world for me. When you are stuck inside the same 4 walls with little contact to the outside world, it makes you feel imprisoned.
If she can get involved in some kind of community group, that would probably do wonders for her. What are her hobbies? Art? Dance? Sports? Help her to get involved in some kind of group where she can have interaction with adults.
2007-01-28 02:42:03 · answer #3 · answered by Mary 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she wont tidy it then you do the best when you get home... Offer to work and clean with her once you get home and on the days you have off from work.... If she is depressed the computer is her out but she really needs to see a medical doctor for this to get the help and medication that she needs. Offer to take her to the doctor and you be there for her through it all.
2007-01-28 02:46:13 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a pc addiction to me. Plus maybe she IS depressed. Get her some help - and actually -you'll need to get your relationship some help too. There's lots of therapy needed here. If she's admitting that she's depressed - then she shouldn't turn down therapy. If you are not in a financial situation to get help - then find out if there are some agencies who will provide help for free.
If she refuses help - and you don't leave (and take the two year old! is there somebody who can watch her properly?) then you are simply enabling her behavior.
So sorry you are in this situation. My live in boyfriend was addicted to a video game about 5 years ago. It was maddening.
Good luck.
2007-01-28 02:35:10 · answer #5 · answered by liddabet 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Firslty,you must find a day to sit down and talk to her about your concerns. Tell her that she is now an adult and she is no longer a teenager anymore, so she has to take full responsibility for her daughter, and tell her that you are also depressed as her but you still try to make things work. She must learn to grow up or else she will lose you if she doesnt.
2007-01-28 07:43:09 · answer #6 · answered by spo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is so use to be in the house that it gets to the point where you don't want to leave or do anything else. She doesn't have a life outside of the home and she hates it so she closes herself off.
You need to get her up and out of the house more often.
I've been thru this..it is depression. You need to keep her busy.
And if its the PC that bugs you...Dismantle it in the middle of the night. If she can't use it, she won't be on it.
2007-01-28 02:36:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This could be a serious problem. If your wife suffered from post natal depression and it wasn't diagnosed at the time, she could end up seriously ill. She spends her time on the pc as she can't face reality. If you really want to help her.....get her to the Drs ASAP.
Good Luck
2007-01-28 17:33:32 · answer #8 · answered by crazeeladee no more 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ask ur self , what is it that u love about her. denpending on how long has it been that u have been going through this, has she looked into getting help, cant change someone who does not want to make the effort to change babe, but if she is willing then go for it but make a choice, be happy or not. good luck. just remember love is not supose to be like this right. when u do say enough is enough for u and ur child. get her help if u r willing to stand by her for it or show her the door of reality and send her on her way.
2007-01-28 02:56:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is an excuse i get depressed some but i still manage to keep our home clean and don't let it affect my ability to interfere in the everyday things that need to be done.She probably has found someone that she talks to on the net, and doesn't want to leave the computer.
2007-01-28 02:57:34 · answer #10 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋