kids father using them to punish me for the divorce?

Question

My ex keeps putting my children through hell just to try to hurt me. HE asked for the divorce and now that he sees that he is not being taken care of like before, he wants back in. Sorry! But he uses our children as weapons, not bringing them back home on time until I give in to something, trying to force them into changing residential parent to him just to receive child support, etc. It never ends. My poor children are being mentally tortured! We are in counseling for his behavior but how do I get him to STOP ABUSING his own flesh and blood?? He is too selfish to see past his own face!

Answer 1

Do not give in talk to your lawyer about how he acts and how he treats the children and get sole custody of them.
It will be a rough road for a bit but, it will work out.
Good Luck

Answer 2

This is sad, I have heard of situations like this before and it's pathetic! First of all you are in the right direction in getting counseling. This helps alot, you need a pat on the back! This is also a type of abuse mentally and it needs to stop asap. If you can afford it I would recommend talking to your attorney and see if you can change the ruling on the visitation rights. This might put a dent in his ego macho behavior. Explain to your attorney on what this man is doing and it's hurting them mentally and you as well and it needs to be at a halt. This way if you can change the visitation ruling, your ex will have to obey what the Judge rules and if he doesn't he can be thrown in jail or not see his kids at all. Pure and simple.You can also ask for an "Order of protection" in which if he bothers you at home or anywhere else he will be charged for violation of the order. You do have some choices here so I would call your attorney and see what he can do first.

Answer 3

Stand your ground and be the stable on this. When he does bring the kids home, don't make a fuss, in front of the kids, let your lawyer handle it, change your way of handling him. Just say talk to my lawyer, that it is too much for you to handle, and it is hurting our children, That all you want to do is work things out, so we will not mess up our kids! Thank God you have them in counseling, may be it would be a good idea if the father could be included! I hope everything works out for you!

Answer 4

My heart goes out to you and your children. Thankfully you are taking care by going to counselling. Some times people need to see it for themselves. Maybe you could video tape him or have the kids make a candid recording in where they feel safe. Seeing his children be candid with visual expressions might help him see what he is doing. If it comes from the kids them he can't blame you for putting words into there mouths or telling them how to "act" IF that doesn't work at least your children will have had the opportunity to express them selves. Hope all goes well for you and your children

Answer 5

A parent that does that in my exreience does not stop. My daughter is 16 and her father still messes with her head. As far as not bringing them home on time, every time call the police and tell them he is in violation of the order. That he never brings them home at the time the papers say. Get a report number each time and go back to court. If he continues to violate the order the judge will handle him.

Answer 6

Depending on what state you live in, that is a reason to take him back to court and get full custody of your children.
Not bringing back the children when they are scheduled to be home with you for their visit is called Interfering with child custody.
Do some research on the web, you will be surprised at what you find.
Using the child to hurt you is abuse. Go back to your attorney and motion to modify.

Answer 7

Try to think about the situation from your ex-husband's perspective as much as possible. It seems like you are assuming the worst of him in all situations. Are you sure that he is truly out to hurt your children? Is it possible that he is using your children as pawns on occasion because he feels unable to communicate with you otherwise?

Try to take the high road as much as possible for your children's sake. If you change your behavior (you listen to him more and are more sympathetic to him) I think you will be suprised how he might come around. Kill him with kindness for a week or two and see how he responds.

You can't change another person's behavior but you can change yours and the kind of difficulty you are describing is rarely a one-way street.

Answer 8

try seeing an attorney. You may be able to deny him visitation if if is hurting the children or force him to get in and get counseling as well.
It would be better for the children to not have visitation than to learn that this is the way a father should be!!

Answer 9

This is not fair to you or the kids... Tell your attorney what he is doing and see what can be done to stop or change this.... I would not take him back unless he changes and starts treating you better... I feel he only wants to be back with you for selfish reasons... You both need to go to marriage counseling before even thinking about getting back together....

Answer 10

in specific circumstances there are reasons. as quickly as I remarried and became pregnant my toddler might come domicile from his fathers conversing approximately how he had to kill the toddler. He pronounced how my husband became going to kill him and we could continually be afraid. How does a three year previous arise with this crap except that's fed to him? A court docket conflict ensued. He went lower back some years later. while the youngster became 12 he refused to flow see his father. the commencing up of yet another court docket conflict. in the process the attitude of looking out what made him refuse to flow we found out plenty. The tormented the youngster approximately what went on at our domicile. They yelled at him over each little element we offered with the aid of fact "his money" piad for it. How would desire to he incredibly think of i'd desire to stay like this on his $fifty 9 a week? They consistently yelled at him for ingesting. He became a turning out to be extra wholesome teenaged boy. the youngster continually would desire to eat. He had chores at his domicile. it incredibly is all great yet he had to do them each 2 weeks. no person did them while he became no longer there.. Like mowing the grass. It became his pastime so as that they saved it for him. He spent the entire 2 days there catching up on his chores and not travelling his father. His father did no longer something with him. i'd desire to flow on all day.I won't even flow into the worst reasons. This time he became no longer made to confirm him. he would be 20 in July and he nonetheless would not see his father. He would not prefer to. they have fed him lies approximately me all his existence. He pronounced some months lower back while his cousins tried to get him to call his dad that he has watched us and listened to us his entire existence and he's familiar with who's the liar and who has integrity. I do have faith that youngsters do prefer the two of their mum and dad yet people could gain that they can't play ideas video games with their babies. It hurts no person however the youngsters.