About people's questions about men cheating?

Question

Doesn't anyone find it interesting that everyone KNOWS why men cheat?
Of course it's the fault of the cheater. I won't excuse them. But, the spouse always plays a role, even a passive one.
So when women KNOW what might make their men cheat (nagging, neglect, lack of sex - those are really the only reasons) why are they so surprised when they do? Especially since most women do know that their husbands are unhappy with the nagging, neglect, and lack of sex.
The reasons women cheat are sometimes so complex even they don't know. Some are the same as men's, but women also often just brood in silence and don't tell their husband what's wrong.
I would bet anything that if women gave their hubby a b j once a week the divorce rate would drop by 75%. Can anyone think of anything as easy as that to keep marriages happy?

I never said anyone makes anyone cheat.

But people contribute to a climate which fosters it. Does that make sense?

Look you women can think up your own ideas for why men cheat but notice that when you ask men who did the answer is almost always nagging, lack of sex, lack of affection.

There are some sociopaths who will do so no matter what, but they are certainly the minority.

Some of you people either can't read or are reading what you want to read.

I said it of course was the fault of the cheater and I won't excuse that. Always. I never say it's OK to cheat. I am just saying that women have the power in most cases to keep their men happy enough not to but don't.

Answer 1

I disagree with the "make their men cheat" mindset.

Life is choices. Some men choose that path.
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"So when women KNOW what might make their men cheat ..." <-- yes, you said "make their men cheat."

Answer 2

You have an interesting view on why men cheat..You make it sound like women give men reasons to cheat..If a man is not getting attention,sex or whatever you think the woman should just give it to him so he won't cheat.What about what the man is doing or not doing that is causing the woman not to give him these thing's.Marriage is a two way street both spouses have to be willing to compromise and make the marriage a success..You say that you are not excusing cheating but you sure are trying to justify it and no matter what you say cheating is wrong and there is NO excuse or justification for it.

Answer 3

I agree with you, that it is the fault of the cheater.

But I think there would be alot less cheating if the partners in the marriage, both men and women, if they went into the marriage and kept an attitude of putting their partner and their feelings and needs before their own, I think that marriages would last alot longer.

Today it seems like people go into marriage thinking, what am I going to get out of the marriage. Going into it with the mindset thinking that it's all about me. Well a me first attitude will bring down a marriage fast, especially if the husband or wife has that attitude, and then when things are not going their way, they feel that they can justify cheating because they feel that their needs are not being met.

I know, because I put myself first, and made her feel unloved and unwanted.

I think to make marriages last and get rid of cheating, make your partner feel loved and wanted. To me there is no other woman that I want to be with than my wife. And I tell her and show her everyday. Something that we both do, besides just saying we love each other, is telling each other what we love about each other, and telling each other that we appricate each other and WHAT we appriciate about each other.

My wife wrote me a love note recently and mentioned in it that it means alot to her that when she comes home from work and I've done a couple loads of dishes in the dishwasher and washed a couple loads of clothes. That means more to her than me EVER buying her flowers, because it makes her feel appriciated that I am helping her around the house. And that she doesn't have to do it all herself.

So if we want to make marriages last, make your partner feel loved and wanted, and appriciated. Also do things to show your love, don't just say it, because if you say it and don't do anything to back up the words, after a while the words are just going to be empty.

Another thing and this I believe is the MOST important!!! COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY!!!!! Keep those lines of communication open. Also when conflicts come up, and they will, instead of getting into a knock down drag out fight, sit down and calmly talk about it. It works and makes a HUGE difference. My wife and I don't fight anymore, and we are able to resolve conflicts so much easier now. Besides when your yelling at each other, no one is really listening, because when your yelling, you put up a wall against each and your not listening to what the other person is trying to get accross.

Hope that this helps.

Take care and God Bless

Answer 4

well it's my opinion that people who cheat have no character.If you are not being satisfied in your relationship,then any one should have the courage to get out.Yet they will come up with a thousand reasons why they can't leave.Most women express their dissatisfaction with their roles and men usually get dyslexic and hear what they want to hear.I find that most men don't know how to satisfy women really and think that their you know what is the thing that cures all of a woman's needs when in fact we need a hell of a lot more than the magic stick.Now speaking of b/j's,were you getting them before marriage?if so then yes you should still be getting them.If all it takes is a bj to keep a man happy I am not sure what that says for men.Why marry if all you really want is sex?That may be an easy option for you for some it's sodomy .While we are talking about this,there are plenty of men who feel they are too good to reciprocate what they ask for so,these things go two ways.

Answer 5

Both people in the marriage have the responsibility to keep it going. Men are sexual beings and woman are emotional beings. If the man gives the woman the emotional bond she needs, then the B J is on. When we don't feel emotionally full by our mates we have no desire to express ourselves through sex.
My husband understands this concept, therfore, I am happy and content as well as he is.
So to blame someone for why they cheat, most people cheat becuz of the lack of a bond in the marriage. They are not cheating for sex, people cheat, in my opinion becuz they are not fullfilled emotionally in their lives.
And a mature person would think with their head and nothing else before they put themselves in that situation.

Answer 6

My guess by your response is that a BJ is the answer to everything. I bet to gather your not married and moreso, I wouldn't be surprised if you were the cheater. For anyone to cheat is wrong, and the mistakes lie in the cheater. For if you are true to yourself, or lacking something in a marriage that does NOT give you a free card to cheat. A real man or woman in love, will address the issues with their mate and work through them, not look to someone else to alleviate their flaws or the flaws of their spouse.

Answer 7

when husbands cheat they don't love thier wife and don't respect thier wife my husband cheated after we separated but he can't claim it was because we didn't have sex often at my age i was still going strong far as sex was . he told some people i nagged too much which was a lie i couldn't comicate to him with out him acusing me of nagging if something was bothering me yet his mother would nag and that was ok with him i m a lot older than my husband so that may be why he wanted us to break up our marrige were separated but he use to tell me its not the age that counts in the eyes of god im 58 hes 39 i shouldn't married a baby i guess but love is blind sometimes

Answer 8

I also disagree that women make men cheat. Cheaters cheat.

It's exactly like stealing, some people would never steal period. My worst enemy could give me a million dollars in cash for safe keeping and I would have to give it back. Others will steal something they don't even want if given the right opportunity.

Answer 9

See what Tenbadthings said- I heartly agree. I also wish to add that if a weekly bj (I cannot believe THAT one!) were the answer to a "happy marriage", the concept of the institution would certainly take on a different spin.

Answer 10

Au contraire mon ami, the spouse does not always play a role (even a passive one) ---some people are just plain old mentally ill and (so they say) "can't help" their behavior. And I see you have the cure-all for all cheating, blow jobs. Hmmm, if the world were only so easy to cure. You'd be a gene-***!

Answer 11

For some guys, it might be that easy.

Some guys no matter *what* the wife does he would still cheat.

But I would agree with you on this one point: increased sexual activity and initiation by the wife would cause a severe drop in marital conflict.