i would never dream of getting into a swim/bikini, whatever. i don’t know why.i'm not overweight, i am probably a little more underweight/average. i'm just naturally like this. i also survive in baggy t-shirts and hoodies! everyone always asks me why i do....i don't have an answer for this because i don't know!
in school we have to go swimming and i never go, for the obvious reasons. i've got i don't know how many detentions oover this because i just have to say i forget my stuff.....
i want to wear so many of those tops other people do....but i just can't pull myself to do it!
i have been like this ever since i was about 12/13. it's been so long i don't think it'll change over the years.
yes, before you tell me other people worry about this, i know other people do but i go a little overboard on it....
2007-01-28 01:19:07 · 15 answers · asked by Rachel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
sorry, i didn't realize i posted it in f&r
2007-01-28 01:19:39 · update #1
Perhaps you posted this in the correct category. Self-consciousness is never a personal choice. It is a reaction or a defense mechanism to one's environment.
So, you believe that you are overboard in this area. Will you always be? That depends upon you. If you allow yourself to remain this way, then you will. If you make the choice to change, then you will change. Perhaps not by yourself, but with help if needed.
The best place to start is in your own room. Put on a modest swimsuit. How can you be self-conscious if only you are there? Do not think about wearing it out in public. This is your secret. This is the real you. Wear it until this concept sinks into your personality.
If you cannot do this (even in private) then perhaps you will need professional help. If you do, then get it and the sooner the better. Make up your mind that you want to let the real you out and will not tolerate this self-conscious mask attempting to ruin your life.
Once you can wear the suit by yourself, you might want to attempt to wear it in front of a very close friend. If you do not have a very close friend, then this is another symptom. If everyone is a stranger then you might never feel comfortable without hiding. Perhaps you need to learn more about other humans. Not everyone is all bad and judgmental.
2007-01-28 02:01:45 · answer #1 · answered by Richard 7 · 13⤊ 2⤋
I was the same way always in t-shirts and jeans that would be it but over the years and all the new people I went meeting I started to change my appearance I started little by little and now I am more girlie than ever, I like the attention and also I feel better about myself. The only advice I can give u is that u need to start with baby steps at a time first start wearing a little eyeliner then start wearing mascara and so on, then start wearing tighter t-shirts and then start wearing ur jeans a little bit more tighter and then u also need to start surrounding urself with females that are like really girlie so u can start getting more comfartble with ur feminine side and then start looking at the way they fix themselves and then u start doing it urself. Trust me u will change with time it's just a matter of time and u putting effort into wanting to change. Good Luck!
2007-01-28 01:57:45 · answer #2 · answered by Elizabeth 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it could be a few reasons.. do you come from a modest family? maybe you where brought up to think very modest.
I have a 16 year old daughter.. almost 17... and I can not tell you what the heck happened.. but when we moved from Northern California to Southern California and across the beach.. She went from being soooooo conservative to wearing biknis all the time. She started out so shy... and it was like over night.
I don't know where you live .... but if you live near a beach... there are literally thousands of half naked people out there. Try wearing a suit underneath your clothes.. and lay out.. and little by little remove your outer wear and see if this will help.
There is nothing wrong with being modest... just make sure that you really try to limit it with your swim class.. and explain to the teacher of your feelings. Maybe they can work something out with you.
2007-01-28 01:30:18 · answer #3 · answered by Esther J 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bwahaha please. I actually have a chum and shes almost 14 and shes 5'9 and a 0.5. I felt so complexed! Im only 5'2 :'( and 14. perhaps ur mom and dad are short thats why they don t like ur top and if their tall which skill ur tall cuz of them be grateful! U could be a variety truthfully fashions positioned on heels and their 5'n etc. U ll look soo distinctly u ll stand out. If u waant to conceal ur top benefit weight so as that u have a advantageous determine and positioned on saggy clothing. have faith me 5 n doesn t look too tall. It provides u a character. I actually have a 5 foot cousin whos 22 she might want to be in ur shoes and that i've got a 4'8 buddy shes kinda invisible
2016-09-28 02:29:01 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you will ever grow out of it. I'm 27 and still feel like that. It is a matter of building up your confidence a bit at a time. If you REALLY want to wear what the others are wearing you are just going to have to be brave and do it!! Once you do you might get so many compliments you are brave enough to try again. OR you might hate the attention and never do it again. Biggest thing is, you don't HAVE to wear those things. Wear what makes you feel comfortable!
2007-01-28 01:24:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you feel more comfortable with your own body, you will feel more confident. Whatever you do, don't compare yourself with anyone else, whether it's your friends or someone in the media- just try being yourself and don't worry about what others think of you. If it helps you, try dressing up in private, try on different types of clothes that you would like to wear in public or put on some makeup, just to get comfortable. You don't have to let anyone see you wearing this stuff, but you will have the chance to see your own outer beauty.
You sound like a beautiful person on the inside just pecking your way out to shine on the outside, too. It will happen in your own time
2007-01-28 01:29:16 · answer #6 · answered by T Time 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being self-conscious doesn't make things easy, I know, I'm self-consciousness myself. It stops you from participating in so many things. For Me it is facing people. All I can suggest to you, is to look at what made you feel self-conscious about yourself in the first place. The answer may not come easily, but I hope you find it!
It may help to speak to someone you trust about this. Believe me, it can help
2007-01-30 02:16:42 · answer #7 · answered by Goose 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i may be wrong, but it sounds like u have some self-confidence issues. u r not alone, bcuz we all go through it once in our lifetime. and yes, some of us (including me) have gone overboard with it too. It's called "puberty", and we feel awkward bcuz our bodies are changing, our hormones are raging, and we don't know what to do about it.. relax, bcuz everyone else at school is going through it too. hope this helps
2007-01-28 01:29:31 · answer #8 · answered by thundergnome 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie I felt like that my whole life....I am 21 now, and I STILL feel this way. It's like no matter how much people tell us we are beautiful and wonderful...we don't believe it. I believe it actually comes from growing up in a surrounding where your parents never told you that you beautiful. I hate that I feel like this....you really have to reach inside yourself, maybe see a therapist. Trust me gurly, you want to deal with this now so that you aren't like me and still dealing with it when you are about to be a bride!! Good Luck....remember...YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL....everyone else thinks so too!!
2007-01-28 01:24:26 · answer #9 · answered by Tiffany 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just start slowly. Run to the store in a tank top, and remember if people are looking at you it's because you look good, not bad.
2007-01-28 01:23:01 · answer #10 · answered by TexasChick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋