would you let them cry?

Question

This is not a Question but more of a survey or poll.
They say and we all know that the only way a baby/infant can communcate is to cry and they cry for everything they need( food,ill,diaper,cold,hot,bored,tired,unconvertable,want to be held,teething) now if non of these was the problem would you as a parent just put them back in the crib or would you try anything to comfort them. Some say to much holding can spoil the child and putting them back in the crib when nothing is wrong will help them learn how to comfort them self. And putting them back will make them feel unloved.


I am 4 weeks away from my due date with my first and if this was the case with me I would do anything in my will power to make my baby happy and healthy. If that means picking him up evertime he crys.


So like I said what would you do as parent(s)?

with this being a survey/poll I will be giving thumbs up or a tumbs down for the answers and the one thats really good I will choose

Answer 1

though everyone often told me to let them cry I could never bring myself to. they are infants and crying is there way of getting you to do what they need, if they need to be held, hold them. I don't think there is any proven benifit of letting them just cry.

Answer 2

My little boy is 2 1/2 now and if he is having a fit and I know nothing is wrong then I let him cry. At this age I know when he is testing me or if he really needs something. I don't give in to his fits.

But, when he was a little baby if he cried i would do what ever I could to comfort him. I don't think letting them "cry it out is an answer". My son didn't cry alot but when he did I helped him. There was I time when I was unsure what was wrong and I finally tried gas medicine and he calmed right down. Now if I had just put him in his crib to cry it out he would have been there in pain and crying with no help. I also read in several baby mags. that letting them crying for long periods can make you baby very stressed. This will effect their sleeping habits and their attitude while awake.

When your baby cries it takes time to find out what is wrong but if you don't take the time then how will you ever be able to tell the cries apart. My son didn't start having fits until he was around 18 months.

Everyone one is different with their parenting styles. You just do what is best for you and give your baby lots of love and he/she will be fine. You are the only one that knows what is best for your baby.
Congrats on the new edition. I hope all goes well.

Answer 3

A baby never cries for no reason. Whether it is hunger, discomfort, or just needing to be with someone, there is always a reason. Until a child can communicate with words or actions, crying is the only form of communication. Attending to a crying infant will instill trust in your child. You can not spoil a child by holding it. If you become so frustrated with a crying child that you may harm it, by all means, place the child in a crib and walk away until you get yourself together. Then go back to child and try again. Your going to be a great parent. Good Luck!

Answer 4

I am also a new mom. My daughter is now 4 months old. When I brought her home I was happy and nervous like you wouldn't belive, but as time went on I learned what every cry meant. I always want to be there when she needs me. If she whimppers i'm there. Now I have gotten to where I know when she is fixing to start crying and I'm there waiting. The only way that babies have to comunicate with you is by crying. So in my opinion I would not just let her cry because you really don't know if there is something wrong with her/him or not. I would go to them and try to sooth them.

Congradulations on being a new mom and I wish you the best of luck!!

Answer 5

When I was home on Maternity Leave, I held the baby EVERY time she cried and yes, I spoiled her. It made going back to work VERY difficult...so, when it came down to it, and I HAD to sleep, I let her cry.

She is almost 4 now and is by far the most well behaved lovable child I have EVER met.

With children, it's all about quality not quantity. She was upset for the first week because the quantity of time I spent was less, and it was hard to hear her cry - but in the end, I am very thankful that I did it. Children are very resilient, but as long as the time you spend with them is full of love and adoration, there is no way they will grow up feeling unloved.

So in short - YES, I would let them cry.

Answer 6

you can't spoil them all the time. if they fall asleep in your arms and cry when u put them in the crib just shut the door when you leave the room. they will cry and u might feel bad but they will fall back asleep from crying. after five mins. if they dont stop crying after that then you go in and compfort them. maybe they just want to know you are there. so get ur prfume and spray a little on a stuffed animal of the babies. put it in the crib and the baby might stop crying. get a music box. the baby will love that. hope this helps. if u need any more help email me at [e-mail]

Answer 7

You can't spoil an infant under the age of 6 months. If they cry and are not hungry nor cold nor need a diaper change, they are wanting comfort. They don't even realize when they are that young that they are no longer inside of you. It's our job as a parent to slowly introduce this to the world in a loving and caring way. You do have to teach them to fall asleep on their own, slowly and affectionately. Somebooks are against rocking, and I think that is ridiculous. I rocked my daughter until she understood the routine and what to expect. She no longer needed to be rocked by 10 months of age. Babies when they are tired sometimes need to cry to release engery to be able to fall asleep.

I read the book "The Baby Whsiperer". You have to be in tune with your infant's needs and you can predict (most of the time) those needs by routine. I highly recommend the book.

Answer 8

When I had my second son, a STUPID midwife told me to only breastfeed every four hours, that's all they need, and he would sleep through the night.She said crying was good exercise. WHY oh WHY did I listen to her..I guess it was the hormones making me vulnerable...she was the professional, right?..all it did was diminish my milk supply and give me an unhappy, resentful relationship with my baby, who is now a difficult two-year-old, and I know it was because he cried so much between feeds. When you let your baby cry it out, you are damaging your relationship. The baby learns not to trust, learns that no one is there for them..how terrifying that would be!!!And you begin to doubt your ability to care for your baby, it really threatens the natural bond. My biggest regret in my life is that I listened to that woman. My first baby and I bonded fine and I responded to his cries immediately, always.O.k.,I was tired fora few months. So what, those months are long gone,and I remember them as special and tender. I have a third baby now,a girl, and I go right to her when she cries, and she is the most lovely,happy, secure little baby..I will never get over the guilt I have for what I put my middle baby through.

Answer 9

I have a 4 and half mo old son and I would pick him up. Even by doing this our son is still independant,self soothes and entertains himself. I like the fact that I can lay him in his crib at night wide awake and he is able to go to sleep on his own without crying.Which means he soothes himself to sleep.There is no such thing as spoiling an infant. Plus from the american board of pediatrics they say that excessive crying deprives oxygen from thier brain.

Answer 10

I have 8 children - the first 2 i let cry - bad choice i din't feel as close and they have never recovered - next 6 i picked up all the time they even slept in my bed - one till 4 years old - good choice - it was hard but oh what a difference in our relationship and now they are a pleasure to be with and we have a close relationship. Giving comfort doesn't spoil a child - not setting rules will spoil a child.
Enjoy your little one and remember when he cries he's talking to you and when you learn to understand him and he will learn to trust you.

Answer 11

I went to them when they were crying when they had a need. ie, hungry, wet, gassy, etc. When they are infants, you cannot spoil them by holding and meeting their needs when they are crying. You are giving them a sense of security that when they need something, you will be there.

When they started to roll over is when I let them have some time to themself as long as all their needs were met. I would leave them in the room with me, but let them have some toys around they could entertain themself with. I would go about doing things that I needed to get done. If I needed to vacuum, I'd put them in their crib with some toys. They were great when it came to entertaining themselves as they got a little older.

Neither of my kids grew up spoiled or needed that constant attention. I've seen other kids as toddlers through temper tantrums when no one was paying attention to them. No thanks!

Good luck!
PS. Don't listen to the lady that said put your kids to bed with a bottle. Both my kids were off the bottle by a year old. The longer they have something, the harder it is to break them of it. The regular sounds of the house were enough to get both my kids to fall asleep.