how do i get over it??....i still have the memories and they scare me?

Question

ok so i was rapd for the last time a year ago i was raped by my uncle, my bf has been a big help with this and so has my family, but i cant get over it. i always have those images in my head of that night. and it just creeps me out, and it seem. he had been raping me since i was 11 and it stopped when i was 13(he was arrested, my aunt caught him) i just cant get it out of my head, i have other issues that i've been having before i was raped, my parents were really abusive. i live with my grandparents now, but my psyc DR isnt really helping, she trys and she is nice but i have a very hard time trusting people. and i just dont no wat to do, im 14 now and im pg, my bf lives with me now(we live with my grandparents) but i just want those memories gone, what should i do??

i have been playing the cello for 7 years, i have bunny i love, i've been raising my little brother since he was born(hes 3 and THINKS IM HIS MOMMY, i go to church, my gramma has tried to get me to talk to the chief and or shawmins, but somethin about them intimidates me, i believe in native american gods as well as the christian god

Answer 1

Sweetie, I'm SO sorry you've had to go through all that.

I think that it'd be a very good idea to go to the chief or to a shaman. What you need is spiritual healing, as well as psycological healing. If you feel like your psyc. doctor isn't helping you, you NEED to let your grandparents know and perhaps a meeting with another doctor can be arranged. But open your mind and soul to getting healed spiritually, it helps A LOT. When I've had rough patches in my life, it's helped me MORE to go see a spiritual advisor or shaman. I've gathered a lot of my strength from my Cherokee beliefs.

I've lived a rough life too and, in a way, I know what you're going through. It's so easy to just give in and fall into a hole, but don't allow yourself to do that! "What doesn't kill you WILL make you stronger"...and it's true if you let it. You need to be strong for your little brother AND for this new baby you said you are pregnant with.

I'll definitely keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Answer 2

Im so sorry you have had to suffer like this I was rapped when I was 5 sexually assaulted from 13-14 by abused by 18 year old boyfried at 14. Im sure i dont know exactly how you feel but I have been through similar situation I have been getting help from social workers since I was 13 seeing a physcologist for a year and a bit now I 17 and I would advice you to plz see another shrink or maybe even a psycologist if the one you are seeing is not helping its the first one I went to didnt help either so finding the right person is probably the most important thing for you also if you dont have someone to talk to that you can trust about the flashbacks and such that is also very important step to find someone you can trust a good friend maybe your grandparents or your boyfriend tell someone when you get them it will help you dont keep it all internalized this will make you feel worse think of them as your brain and body trying to tell you theres somthing wrong that you need to talk about and begin to fix the damage from slowly god be with you remember he loves you

Answer 3

I can tell you, if this is a legitimate question, that you will never "get over it." It will get better with time and you'll be able to move on, but that horrifying, terrible time will never leave you. It's like scar tissue....the wound will heal, but leaves a scar that never goes away. I, personally, have never been through this, but my best friend has. It happened when she was 13....she's 29 now and she says that it's as if it happened yesterday. It is going to take a lot of counseling and time for you to not be afraid of the memories...which is absolutely normal. If your Dr. isn't helping, then maybe it's time to think about seeing someone else. Each Dr. has a very different style and personality and it's okay to keep looking until you find one that you DO like....that's your best chance at getting to a healthy place. Good luck to you. I'm very sorry to hear that you've been so deeply hurt at such a young age. No one should have to go through what you've been through.

Answer 4

The only thing is time dear. No matter how old you get those memories will never completely go away. Im sorry to say that but I know this first hand. I was 11 when it stopped, & now I am 35, with 4 children and I still think of what happened now & then. But it only comes to mind if something like this is brought up.
Counceling is the best thing. But you have to share what you feel comfortable with. It takes time to build up that trust, and its okay. There are though, special support groups for women that have been sexually abused. See if there are any in your area. This is my best advice. Hope it helps.

Answer 5

First of all, know that you are not alone. Many women who have been raped have these issues. If you feel like you can't talk to your psych, or she isn't helping, talk to her about it. Tell her that she is saying some nice things, but you are still having nightmares and you want help to get rid of them. If she doesn't know what is wrong, it is hard to help. If you HAVE told her about this, find a different psych. Your psych SHOULD give you advice on how to deal with everything.

Secondly, the memories will never be gone. I know that is a scary thought, but with a trauma like you experianced, it is like a bad picture ingrained on your brain. You can, however, lesson the times you see it faster than just time. Your psych should be able to give you exercises on how to do this.

It sounds like your grandparents and boyfriend love you very much, and you are lucky to have them. Try talking to your grandmother if you can. Being a woman, she will be able to empathise and might be able to give you some advice as well.

I hope you get through this okay and good luck.

Answer 6

I was molested when I was 7 by my mom's bf. It sucks, and the memoris doing go away very easy. You have to find a way to over come them, and to find a place to put them. I don't mean that you should supress your feelings or never talk about it, but your best friend is helpin gyou and that's good. I think that you are headed down the right path by getting help and if you don't feell all that comfortable with your doc, go to another one. It taked a while to find a good shrink.

Answer 7

just focus on the good things in life. those memories might never go away but as long as u keep ur mind set on the positive instead of the nagative u will get through this. its good that u have a good support group. u can always turn to them for help

Answer 8

They're not going to go away. You need to learn to deal with them and try to move on with your life. Especially since your pregnant and that's not good for you or the baby to be under stress which is what the memories are doing to you. Just concentrate on the future and eventually you'll learn to block those memories from your mind.

Answer 9

I am so sorry that happened. That is horrible, you poor thing. Remember that you can always talk to God and you are apart of his divine plan. Maybe you can help prevent other rapes and, maybe you can help people recover. I feel scared for you. First thing is you have to be thankful that is over and start trusting yourself.
Trust God too, he is always with you and remember that Jesus is too.

Answer 10

Unfortunately I don't think these memories will ever go away, you went through a great deal and they may stay with you for life, but what you have to do is learn to live with it, and not let it control your life. Accept the fact that he was the wrong one and in no way was this your fault. You can't expect anyone to help you forget it, you have to do that on your own, you have to learn to control your memories, as they will stay with you forever.