Is it true that when a man gets married, he divorces his friends?

Question

About a year ago my friend got a girl pregnant that he used to date in middle school (we're all the same age, 23 now). Then hadnt spoken sinse middle school and when they met up again last december they started dating again. She gets pregnant, and then they got married after only being together for 6 months. Ever sinse the wedding I never see him anymore, I dont think his wife likes me at all. We've been best friends sinse kindergarden and we've been through everything together. Now I cant even get him to stop by and pick up the gift for the new baby, let alone sit down and have a drink with him and find out whats going on with his parents and such. Its not just me either, none of our other friends ever talk to him anymore either. So did my best friend divorce me? If he did, should I be there for him if him and his new wife hit a rocky time?

I try calling him from time to time but I cant get him to answer the phone or even return a call. I dont dare go to his house because of the fact that his wife dosent like me and I dont want to start any trouble. I can understand the stresses of a new baby but who dosent have five minutes to return a phone call?

Answer 1

WOW HE DID DIVORCE YOU.

HIS MAIN CONCERN NOW IS HIS WIFE .
BUT I DONT AGREE WITH WHAT SHE IS DOING.
YOU HAD HIS FRIENDSHIP BEFORE HE MET HER.
AND YOUR FRIEND, SHOULD HAVE NEVER ALLOW HER TO DOMINATE THE SITUATION IN TO CHOOSING BETWEEN YOU OR HER.

YOU SHOULD CALL HIM UP AND ASK HIM FOR A MEETING, TALK TO HIM. YOU WERE FRIENDS ONCE. IF HE HITS RICKY TIMES, BE THERE FOR HIM. HE MIGHT NOT KNOW IT NOW, BUT HE WILL NEED YOU BIG TIME.

Answer 2

The fact that you call your relationship a divorce says it all... You guys have a closeness that's sort of like a marriage. But he now has a new family and a new child and so he has needs to nurture his new relationship right now. He does have to live with them for the rest of his life after all. Give him the space that he needs. He's going through a lot right now. You guys have been life long friends and so I don't think he'll divorce you. He needs time to get things done. Just drop off the gift and support him whenever possible.

I understand completely. I also HAD a best friend (since we were 5!) and his wife doesn't like me or my fiance! She doesn't like any of his friends who met him before her (so she doesn't like my sister either). She's insecure, jealous and has a morbid fear of losing her husband. She basically pushed all of his old childhood friends away; Which is very sad because old friends are hard to come by.

I am aware of her insecurities and so I pity her. I no longer hang out with him (to prove to her that I'm not trying to take him away from her or make him decide between us). I think she understands that now. But I support him whenever he needs help.

Answer 3

Your friend is married now, not single. Hence forth, he is not free to hang with the guys, go to bars, etc etc. When you get married ( And I respect your friend for doing the right thing), you now have a family and a wife to spend your time with. So, In a way you do divorce your single friends due to the fact that you now have less in common, and in most cases, the wife gives a little grief over hanging with "single" friends. It is not a bad thing, just a phase of life. You two can still be friends, but I would try things that go on at his house instead of the things you use to do.

Answer 4

Well that depends on both people in the relationship. Alot of times when a couple first gets married, its hard enough in the beginning but then throw a baby it, its 3 times as hard to keep in contact with our family let alone our friends.
If i were you, i would stop over their house with a baby gift and say something like:
I just wanted to stop over and drop off a gift for the new baby and wish you both well. Can i come in and see him/her?
or tell them if they ever wanna get out with out the baby, offer to baby sit (if your comfortable with it or have a g-friend (if your a dude) to help you)
Sometimes new couples/families find it hard to adjust to all the responsibilities that comes along with babies and all their efforts go to that, sometimes the friends have to make the extra effort to keep friendships going, which in my mind make you a true friend to go outta your way and hopefully he/she will see that.
dont give up, it may take a while!)

Answer 5

No, it's not true. Men usually maintain their relationships after they get married. But you have to recognize that some of his priorities will change and you have to be fair about it. Don't act like he has to choose one over the other. Just let him know that you are there for him. Call and invite him out. Allow him time to adjust. Remember they are also dealing with a new baby... give the guy a break.

Answer 6

No man, I think they are just totally caught up with a new baby and ****. Go over to see them and drop off the gift. Friends don't get divorced it is all a matter of maintaining the friendship. A ph call to see how he is going if he can't get out the house, go over there if he can't get away from his responsibilities. He might be stoked if you just rock up with a couple of beers and the present. A new baby demands time, money and can be stressful too. He may just not have the means to go over to your place. Maybe he thinks you don't want to hang out with a new daddy. Communication is the key. Just ask him, what's up and how is life going, I'd love to catch up with you.

Answer 7

Not every married friend acts this way. Trust me he will one day need you, whether to talk, or just be their for him, They are still newly weds, right now, and after the honey moon, you will be hearing from him. Just give him his space, but one day, you just drop of the baby gift, and don't stay long, and tell him to give you a call some time.

Answer 8

In my view when one gets married, your partner should gain a whole group of new friends. Anybody that likes my partner should be a friend of mine, we would have a great thing in common already.

By shutting out his friends he is breaking something sacred. Lovers come and go but friends are forever. His family is important, but then so are you. Tell him this and ask him to make a better effort. If his wifes dislikes you, that his problem to handle. They were both individuals before they met, and are still individuals. He needs to learn to balance his life a little better.

Answer 9

It's more the baby than the wife. I've gained a friend when friends marry. But when they have kids their lives totally change and they just don't have time.

Answer 10

Not necessarily,only I think if he's too attached to his wife and doesn't find time for u.Maybe the fault is yours and that u should try to contact, why wait for him to come and fetch the gift, go and give it at his place itself.
Usually married man doesn't divorce their friends