This seems to be a trend in most relationships but I'm referring especially to high school relationships. Why do two people who really like each other usually end up fighting at some points? What is the purpose of this? What is the psychological reason for this?
2007-01-27 23:38:38 · 13 answers · asked by World of Suffering 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
ALL FIGHTS ORIGINATE FROM OUR MIND ONLY!!
And mind dwells in duality like it is good and that is bad, he is nice and she is adament, I am correct and your are wrong etc. etc. So, whenever we meet and mingle with other people, our mind is in a kind of inquisitive nature to peep in to other's life for comparison.
At the same time, it keeps on parellely thinking that the other one is inferior and 'it' is superior in all the way. Take, any man, even a begger on the street, egofulness would be his predominent trait, that could be visible on his every words and deeds!
THAT IS WHY, ALL RELATIONSHIP ARE FIGHTING IN NATURE AT SOME POINTS!
AND PARTICULARLY IN ADOLECENT PERIODS AT HIGH SCHOOLS WE PEOPLE ARE TENDER AND UNABLE TO ADJUST WITH ANY FLAWS FOUND WITH THE OTHER FRIENDS. IMMEDIATELY OUR MIND BRAG AND BLAME THAT WE ARE GREAT IN A "PARTICULAR" WAY, BUT NOT THOSE FRIENDS!
For example, if you are a non-smoker and think that it is a great charecter, and you find your friend is smoking, your mind immediately enjoys with 'superority-complex' sublimely, and criticizes him to quit the habit, in a more EGOFUL TONE!
Your words do not carry any sympathy and love towards the good health and welfare on your friend. Not only that, you are more particular to exhibit his habits to others and putting him down for want of elevating you indirectly that you are great and goody-good guy!
WE NEVER ALLOW ANY ONE TO BE HIMSELF/ HERSELF!
WE MAKE FRIENDSHIP WITH ONE OR FEW PEOPLE WITH SOME HIDDEN PRINCIPLES KEPT INSIDE OUR MIND. AND UNTIL WE GET SOME BENEFITS AND FOMFORTS, WE MAY NOT SEE ANY FAULTS WITH HIM/ HER/ THEM! TIME WOULD BE RUNNING!
AND, WHEN WE NEED NO MORE SUPPORT, OR GET SOME OTHER ACQUITTANCE, WE WILL SLOWLY START FINDING FAULTS WITH HIS/ HER / THEIR WORDS AND DEEDS! TO CUT AWAY THE FRIENDSHIP AND START FOR SOME OTHER NEW ONE, WE WILL PUT SOME BLAMES ON HIM/ HER/ THEM, WE START PROPAGATE, JUSTIFIY AND LEAVE HIM/ HER/ THEM IN HALF WAY!
My humble question is, if your father or mother, or your sisters and brothers do some mistakes, would you cut the relationship altogether and go abrubtly away?
ONE CAN SAY LOVINGLY AND CORRECT HIS/ HER FRIEND'S MISTAKES BY HUMBLE WAYS! AND IF IT IS NONE OF ONE'S BUSINESS TO PEEP SO MUCH AND ADVICE, THE OTHER ONE COULD SEE HIS/ HER OWN BUSINESS AND STILL CONTINUE THE FRIENDSHIP!
One thing is sure! The real love put no conditions ever!
Frindship is more valuable thing among all types of relationship!
If one is not adjustable, not loving, not caring, he/ she can never maintain any other relationship in Life successfully for longer periods!
FINALLY A WORD! ALL PSYCHOLOGICAL REASONS FOR THESE LIKE FIGHTS ARE ONLY THE OUTCOME OF ONE'S "EGO" ONLY! YES, IT IS ALL EGO CLASHES!!
A REALLY "GOOD BEING" LOVES EVERY ONE "UNCONDITIONALLY" AND MAINTAINS ALL RELATIONSHIP (INCLUDING FRIENDSHIP) IN A MORE SYNCHRONIZED WAY!
YES! IT IS THE WAY OF "LOVE"
AND
ESPECIALLY "THE FRIENDSHIP"!
2007-01-28 02:26:28 · answer #1 · answered by yozenbalki 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In general, it's outside influences that tear at a relationship.
"Outside", meaning anyone not in the relationship, like friends, family or neighbors. People tend to want to see others suffer, for some unknown reason (i.e. traffic accidents create many curious passers by).
The only way a relationship succeeds is if the two are committed through Hell or high water. That may take vows, but even vows won't stand the test of time.
When two in a relationship constantly argue and fight (or, even worse, have a violent relationship), then they are certain to fail, and it could fail quickly or last a long time, but ultimately fail.
No pschologist could possibly find the reasons why some couples are doomed to failure. Each individual relationship succeeds on it's own merits and confounds even the most brilliant among us.
When harmony exists between two people, wonders can and do happen. The give and take relationship endures over time, lasts forever, and is the stuff they write and make movies about.
One of the most famous relationships was that of a Prince from India and one of his wives. He loved that one wife so much that he built for her the Taj Mahal.
Nice question. Good luck!
2007-01-28 07:50:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its not just with highschool relationships, its common to all relationships. Some people fight and fall apart. But some fights make the relationships stronger... No two people are of the same mind. So when both of them say their own views and are not ready to accept the other one's, they start to fight. Thatz normal untill it ends with a compromise...... :-)
2007-01-28 08:05:36 · answer #3 · answered by Swathi Rao 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are referring specifically to HS relationship, its probably because they dont just have each other to deal with, but their own friends putting their 2 cents into the relationship. "I saw Sam talking to this girl, what are you gonna do about it?" or "Isn't Susie's skirt a little too short today? Who is she trying to impress?"
Instigators.
2007-01-28 08:06:12 · answer #4 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its something from nature,not all the people have the same ideas and thoughts..and each one try to prove that what he thinks about is the truth..So we cant prevent fights unless all of us share the same thoughts,and this is impossible..
2007-01-28 07:48:07 · answer #5 · answered by Eman H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not only high school relationships. its all relationships unless there is good communication between partners. i believe that arguments start because after a while, one or both partners stop trying to better thier relationship and either one or both start resenting the other.
2007-01-28 07:43:18 · answer #6 · answered by Miss T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they spend so much time together and they care about each other so much sometimes that every little thing tends to get blown out of proportion.
2007-01-28 22:17:41 · answer #7 · answered by GeekGirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
because when people have differences or one thinks they have been treated wrong
that's what happens
It's best to TRY to talk about the problem & find a solution then fight about it, fighting gets you no
where
2007-01-28 07:47:59 · answer #8 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe more at that age because teens tend to be more aggressive trying to assert their independence at that time of life and it probably rubs off on everything.
2007-01-28 08:00:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
arguing can in fact be healthy for a relationship if in small doses. when you argue with a partner it is because you feel comfortable enough to express how you feel about a situation and express how you think.
2007-01-28 07:43:54 · answer #10 · answered by caboodles111 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋