Im living with some family friends (her,her son and brother), after searching for work in london. i found decent paying work in manchester after accepting an invite from them, i am now working and contributing to their bills as well as helping my own mum and familly back in london. A few months later, i found out they were living/working illegally and they asked me to use my name to help them get on the housing lader for a 3 bedroom home. And thats where my problems started: although i have not known them long, Im torn over what to do. on the one hand they have not done anything to me and have been kind in letting me into their home and i feel attached to her son so feel obliged to help, but on the other hand i've career ambitions of going home and living/working there and cant put my name down to something of such magnitude and just it leave it to them as this is irresponsible if something happens ie. fraud/debts etc. Am i being taken advantage of? I have strong moral/ethcical views
2007-01-27 21:50:28 · 12 answers · asked by Anthony G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
no im not attached in that way... hes a baby so fell fatherly/protective.
also signing my name may mean that i cant apply for a council house in the future for myself probably in london as i dont know how long itll take to sort out their citizenship so i would have be commited to it for a very long time further potentially impacting my life in terms of getting things like loans/credit/mortgage etc
i am also thinking what will the council say as i aint got links to the city and shes not my partner (but she has lied on the housing form to say we are).
i think its daft to be even asking for a 3 bedroom place as if were partners we should be sleeping together in same room, i.e. only 2 rooms will be needed so im suspicious
even if we do get a place ill probably be returning home in a few months so wont be getting any advantage of the place i.e. she can bring her partner from abroad to live there which is a piss take
i am also seriouslly missing london/my friends/familly
2007-01-28 05:42:32 · update #1
Yes, they are trying to take advantage as is anyone who asks you to do something immoral or illegal that would be to your detriment. Personally I would say after a lot of thought that you have decided this is not something you can agree to, although you are grateful that they have put you up. Since you are contributing you owe them nothing other than your thanks. Can you be sure they can't use your name without your knowledge/consent?
2007-01-27 21:57:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that you're sorry, but you can't sign anything that you have such strong moral/ethical views.
I don't think you're being taken advantage of, they're just trying to get ahead any way they can. You can't blame them for that.
Perhaps, go the other way around, and you apply for the 3 bedroom home's housing ladder and do it for yourself, not them. If you get the house, you can always have them as your tenants and not the other way around.
I think they'll understand no matter what your choice is today.
Wish you luck!
2007-01-27 22:00:54 · answer #2 · answered by babbles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are living and working illegally ,, do not put your name down to help with a house even though they have been nothing but welcoming and nice to you, as you say you have a career you dont want to give yourself a bad name , if anything were to go wrong you would probably be the one who would be in trouble as your name is on papers,, I would feel strongly about this too if it were happening to me, I know you would like to help these people as a favour to them helping you ,, but remember they are living and working illegaly, you shouldnt consider this you will be walking straight into a trap!
2007-01-27 22:05:37 · answer #3 · answered by ¸•¨*•.¸AnGeL¸.•*¨•¸ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look after yourself first. They have crossed moral boundries asking you to do such a thing. This could back fire on you & they had no right putting you in this situation. Unfortunately i feel that you would be taken advantage of if you went ahead with this situation. Say no nicely but firmly. You do not owe them anything. I don't think they would ask this of you if they genuinely cared for you.
2007-01-27 21:57:14 · answer #4 · answered by Mishell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Anthony, yes its true they have been kind to you but it doesn't mean they should request for you to do something illegal. You should decline cause just in case u get caught it will be a black mark on you and you are bound to regret it for a long long time.
If they get angry with you for turning you down then i guess they're not really yr friend then, cos friends shouldn't get their friends into trouble. You shouldn't be feeling guilty cos u do help with their bills.
2007-01-27 21:56:26 · answer #5 · answered by Pauline G 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they are doing something illegal then, don't help them. Just invite them to live w/ you; when you can get your own place, until they get their citizenship straightened out. help them all that you can but at the same time, do not jeopordize your future.
2007-01-27 21:56:36 · answer #6 · answered by lovelife 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dear friend, u say in ur story : ( i feel attached to her son ) is it means u love him as a partner? if so feel like this family is urs and do what ur inner feelings said
best answer No ???
2007-01-27 22:03:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my dear, you'll find out soon, you never put your name on something that you yourself isn't actually paying or, don't cosign either, that makes you legally responsible.family is the worst, cause if they miss a payment, they assume you'll understand, even though its your credit there messing with,i wouldn't trust them, sounds to iffy to me.
2007-02-04 00:05:28 · answer #8 · answered by debbie d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i stopped reading when you said they haven't done anything wrong to you....they did though...they kept important information from you that may or may not harm you in the future
2007-02-04 10:52:00 · answer #9 · answered by wyldmntgyrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once you sign your name your to be held responsable for it all----i can understand your between a rock and a hard place---but i don;t really think you should commit yourself.
2007-01-27 22:03:01 · answer #10 · answered by mikeh_frog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋