How do I get better?

Question

I have a broken heart. Everything in my world is falling apart right now and the one person that can make it better keeps trying to avoid it....they are also the person breaking it... How do I let go of what was, moveon and still be thier best friend? I have been lied to, betrayed, and had promises broken... It all hurts so bad.. I cant talk to my parents about it and the counslers dont help...noone can take this pain away. I just want to die..... Someone please help.

I dont have any other friends. I have built my whole life around this friendship and relationship...So now my whole life is falling apart. She is the one person I want to talk to about this but she just keeps ignoring me or getting mad....

Answer 1

Surround yourself with the people that truly love you, and feel their love...

Do you know what your counselor does? Let me break it down for you, and you can do this anytime that you need to. It's called cognitive therapy, and it's what most counselors do for their patients. This has saved my life and the lives of friends more than once.

This is based on the understanding that most of our emotions come from things that we tell ourselves. Emotions are very flighty. If you don't like the emotion that you have right now, wait ten minutes, and you'll have a new one.

1. Acknowledge the situation.
For instance, the situation would be that you've lost a relationship that you value so much...

2. Name all of the emotions that are associated with this situation...
For instance, I can sense that you are feeling despair, grief, betrayal, pain, and you can fill in the rest.

3. One by one, identify the things that you are telling yourself (self talk) to create these emotions...
In the case of "despair" you may be telling yourself, "I'll never find another person who I'll have this connection with!" "My life is ruined!" "All of my dreams are dead now!"
In the case of "betrayal" you may be telling yourself, "They lied to me" "We were so close and I trusted them so much and they tore my heart in two."

4. Examine the things you are telling yourself, and decide if they are the things that you should be telling yourself. Personally, I try to measure my "self talk" up against the Bible. It's the standard of what is true and what is not, what creates hope and what does not. Either way, based on your examination, you decide what your "New Self Talk" should be.

For example, if you want to counter the emotion of "despair", the new thing that you tell yourself might be, "I never wanted to find a new friend, but someday I will. The same way that everything seemed to line up to bring them into my life, someone new will come someday. I need to calm down now and think about about getting on with my life, one step at a time." Instead of "My life is ruined" Your new inner dialogue might be "There's so much more to me than that person. I have this whole big life in front of me, and it never depended solely on them. It's not what I wanted to do, but I'm going to look back on this from a distance some day."
In the case of the emotion "Betrayal". In the light of truth, you might tell yourself "I WAS betrayed. It was the cruelest thing that one person could do to another, and it's not okay. That's not what I deserve. I deserve people in my life who are honest and who care about me enough to be faithful to their promises. I will find people who will treat me like that."

I hope this helps... Take it from someone who has felt very close to the end in their life, more than once. I could cry right now thinking about all of the miraculous, exciting, and memorable things I could have missed in my life if I had given up at any of those times. YOU WILL MOVE ON. I have faith...

I'll leave you with this... Remember what Jesus said:
"Come to Me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and My burden is light."

With Love

Answer 2

well the thing that stands out to me most is you said' I have been lied to, betrayed, and had promises broken...'You said this was your best friend and girlfriend and you wanted to remain best friends......Well in my book a best friend doesn't do that and if they did I would not want that anymore.You have to have trust.It sounds to me like he\she did not feel the way you did.I know that is hard to hear but the sooner you can see that the better it will be for you.If you dint have friend get out and do something take a class go volunteer at a home or shelter where some may have it worse than you and really needs a real friend .It will make your problem not feel so bad....And somewhere along the way you will make friends and look back and appreciate the new person you have become.The only way you will get out of this slump is to kick yourself in the butt andmove on Best of luck to you hon

Answer 3

Hrmmm, that's a tuff one I did the whole break up and still be best friends thing and I have to tell ya Its really hard. It worked somewhat for several years but eventually we did have to go our separate ways as it makes it impossible to move on and find a new love. It isn't what you wanna hear right now but I gots to say the best thing for both parties is to just break it off completely. Its very hard to heal a wound when you leave the knife in your back.
I truly wish you the best of luck I know your pain and am sorry it has come to you.
I know things are very difficult. I too was there My only real friend was breaking my heart. I found she was cheating on me. So we broke up and tried to be friends. It was painful and tedious and eventually I found I couldn't get over it and find someone new because she was always there. She was my world and as you, my only friend. But I cut it off anyhow. It was very hurtful for perhaps a month. But it actually turned to a very good thing as I really became OK with just me. Actually I grew to love my solitude quite a bit. I grew as a person immensely and really solidified who I am and what I believe. It may really suk at first but for me without that time to myself I would have never met and gotten into the relationship of a lifetime. Anyhow you ever need to jabber shoot me an email of something.

Answer 4

Call up a group of your closest friends and have a night out. It'll get you back into the mood for fun and ease your mind. Have fun, be flirty, maybe crash a few parties. Once that's said and done, go to a friends house and talk about the problems over some kick-*** comfort food. Works every time

Answer 5

This may sound stupid but I think you should watch the original Star Wars movie. It made me feel better. Then, I just totally avoided my problems. I just got on the Internet, studied other stuff...Like that.

Answer 6

meditate, forgive them and also pray for them to forgive you too. if you believe in God - pray hard to God. He will help you. God Bless You.

Answer 7

anyone who is gonna ans it pls forwad it to me on [e-mail]