would you accept it as part of growing up if your 14/15/16 year old was drinking with their mates on a saturday night? i know i did it but i am so annoyed if my son does.i hate feeling like such a hypocrite. should i lighten up? its not like he gets wrecked but i feel that its the thin end of the wedge (even though it wasnt for me, i never came to any harm)
2007-01-27 21:26:49 · 14 answers · asked by ginger 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
he cant drive, in the uk you cant start learning untill you are 17. he is basically a good lad and i know its peer pressure,as most weekends when his mates start drinking he just has one and then comes home early. the thing is i dont want to push him into seeing how far he can go.my main worry is that when hes with his friends, if the police come across them it wont matter if hes had one drink, 10 drinks or a sniff of the barmaids apron! he`ll be treated the same.
2007-01-27 21:47:05 · update #1
weve always had the approach to alcohol of allowing the kids a drink in moderation, at home , ie. the odd bottle of lager for the 15yr old. this is accepted by experts as the best way to go to avoid the "forbidden fruit" lure of alcohol,but it doesnt account for peer pressure, which everyone knows, is a strong pull for young lads.may i stress, he has never come home drunk.
2007-01-28 03:07:11 · update #2
It is part of growing up. . .like you said, you did it, I did it. You don't have to like it. No you shouldn't lighten up.
Keep after them to not drink, and when they do, because they will, make sure that they know that they can call you if they get in a stupid situation.
2007-01-27 21:57:48 · answer #1 · answered by Kris 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I get where you are coming from. You need to talk to him and let him know that it is something you used to do but, you don't want him to follow the same path. Tell him about the downside you experienced. That's what I did with my daughter. I told her the truth about how I used to live my life and that I wouldn't want to see her hurting herself the way I did. I don't think you need to lighten up, you are his parent. Tell him about friends you used to have that did stupid things while drinking. You may not have come to any harm but, that doesn't mean that he won't. You are the parent and he is the child. Let him know that he is too young for this and that he will wish one day that he had never started drinking in the first place. It's a habit that can become addictive.
2007-01-28 05:32:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I wouldn't accept it. It is against the law. Let me put it into perspective for you...my ex's nephew was 16 years old. He had just received his driver's license. The following weekend he and his buddies and their girlfriends had a big ole party celebrating they all having their licenses finally. Beer flowed freely. While he was driving his girlfriend home they got into head on collision. The accident was so bad that HE was thrown from the vehicle and SHE wound up in the driver's seat and totally CRUSHED. She is alive...but is a parapellegic from the upper chest down. She can only move her head, her neck and can shrug her shoulders. She WAS a budding ballerinia...WAS supposed to dance with the New York City Ballet in The Nutcracker that Christmas...She never did get to live her dream...Now she is 28 years old...has never driven a car, never got to dance professionally (her dream), never got married, never had any children, never went to college, never held down a job (not much out there for shoulder shruggers)...So SHOULD you lighten up? What if HE were the driver of that car and HIS girlfriend wound up with only shoulders to shrug? How would that make YOU feel?
2007-01-28 05:38:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In other cultures, they let their kids drink a glass of wine at dinner with the adults. This is a good way to teach or encourage moderation in drinking. This may take away the feeling that it is a forbidden fruit mentality. Kids drink because they know that it's a forbidden thing. And they drink to excess.
2007-01-28 07:49:00 · answer #4 · answered by Benvenuto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you should not kids at this age play all kinds of games and some end up dying. I would find the person who is getting it for him and tell to stop and if they do not you will press charges. I was always drinking as a 16 yr old and it is not fun I know you said he does not get drunk but stop him before it gets worst
2007-01-28 05:36:01 · answer #5 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally think you should punish him and ground him.
Let me tell you something. Teenager's brains are actually proven to be hardwired to be prone to risk taking and basically making stupid decisions. Your teen is not capable of making decisions for himself. #1.) He's still a minor. #2.) He's making illegal decisions that could cost him/you money and end HIM up on probation or with traffic offenses that are NOT easily gotten rid of. #3.) It's not his fault he's making these decisions- his brain is programmed to make very poor choices, that's why its up to you to set boundaries and keep him safe.
Have you ever regretted something you did as a teen and thought, now why the hell would I do something risky like that? Well, its due to teenagers' underdeveloped frontal lobes. In fact, their frontal lobes are undergoing such dramatic change, scientists estimate that teenagers' decision making skills are WORSE than that of an 8 year old!!!
Do you think you've raised a good child you can trust? Think again, no matter how you raise this kid, he still needs boundaries because his brain is changing in ways that literally make him a horrible decision-maker!
2007-01-28 05:38:09 · answer #6 · answered by Elysia 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My mom allows me to drink. (Just wines) but drinking alcoholic drinks to its extent is bad. Maybe due to peer pressure or curiousity are the reason why teens do it. Well, naturally... it is not a part of growing up.. maybe it's more on the environment that your sons are able to do it.... because they simply want to adjust. But i think they better know that you are against it.
2007-01-28 05:34:03 · answer #7 · answered by Aira 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you allow him to do it, he'll just see how much more he can get away with it. Don't accept this, even though you may feel like a hypocrite. You know deep down you don't want your son to do this.
2007-01-28 12:17:50 · answer #8 · answered by Cassie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's going to be hard to avoid - we've all done it.
Just make sure he knows the up side and the down side and knows that you don't condone and keep a close eye to make sure things are not going out of control.
2007-01-28 05:34:55 · answer #9 · answered by ekf 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well a few drinks actually help teenages, at least thats what they teach us in the states. just make sure he doesn't do it too much a few times a month.
Oh... p.s. don't let him drink and drive, just honestly tell him if your too drunk to make it home then call me and ill pick you up...
2007-01-28 06:35:48 · answer #10 · answered by jamesthefishy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋