i'm a lost man, how to find my path? (divorced with 2 kids)?

Question

My marriaged ends Sept 2006 (almost 7 years), she cheated me and she's leaving 2 kids (5 & 2 years old SON), she with china guy at china already, i'm being lonely when my marriage broke up, no future planning in my mind, sometimes i missed her, sometimes i feel sad of my kids lost their MOM, i've trying make my life more open mind and trying to make more friends, i've try find my new partner when i feel am ready and can let go of her ( my Ex.) BUT i having a feeling of sadness and with no future in my minds.
Is i havent let go of my EX wife , yet?
how to plan for my kids + my future? (last time, i and my EX planned ALL kinds of future planning of our kids) i feel no more for future and totally lost confident of any planning.
How to overcome my problems? Pls help......

where's my love goes to?
i can't find it anymore and i lost confident to love ......
i lost my GOD when my marriage broke....
My vowes at church (marriage) lost, when my EX. broke her vow.
How to overcome it?

Answer 1

First of all, if you have a relationship with God, you don't lose it because a marriage failed. God is forgiving. You did the best you could.

You need to let go of the past and build a new life- it will take time. Be patient with yourself, and join some support groups, and other activities. Best of luck.

Oh- and just focus on being the best dad you can be.

Answer 2

if u can't let go of the past, u will find it difficult to begin a new future. got to accept what has happened, cause all u got is your kids right now, they need u, so why not seek counseling to help u get through it. your breakup has left u with low self worth, if u could get your self worth back u would be able to see that u have a future, that your allowing your ex and the hurt to rob u of a future. u just need some confidence, u think there is no life without her but there is, sometimes we just have to move on, find someone else to love, and stop expecting anything more from this woman who for whatever reason left u alone. but it is her problem, had nothing to do with u it was her and her character. it is also good to seek out some spiritual help as when nothing else works that does. u just have no belief in yourself, don't give her any more power over the future, are u going to let what she did to u define who u are, it's a choice u have got to make, but u also have to see her for who she really is, once u do u won't want someone like her anymore.

Answer 3

I went through something very similar, mourning not only the end of a long term relationship but all the plans made for the future. I found that it took some time before I was able to make different plans because my life had changed so radically. I was more concerned coping with day to day survival with two children. There is no substitute for passage of time I'm afraid. It does hurt when an ex seems to have quickly moved on but sometimes they're not as happy as they'd have you believe. It is natural to feel sad for some time and I'm a great believer in grieving the loss of a marriage/ltr for as long as it takes before starting a new realtionship. Who needs to take unresolved stuff from one relationship to another? Your confidence will recover once you've healed enough to go out and start having some fun again.

Answer 4

To be blunt, planning---all you can do is your best, none of these problems are going to be solved by you until you can get over your ex-wife and move on. You have two children counting on you, so your best course is just to stay working and providing for the kids til time mends a broken heart because honestly the hurt of rejection and sudden loneliness right now is clouding your judgment. Problem will always present solutions in time if your patient. I know you know this but sometimes it helps to hear it from a stranger, someone else will come along to fill the void that your ex left behind but not until your ready so relax your kids are 5 & 2 you have time till you have to solve the problems with their future now is the time to heal

Answer 5

As yet another Christian woman, enable me inform you that God's plan isn't which you would be in a relationship the place you're bodily and emotionally abused. do no longer concern approximately what the Bible says approximately divorce. You married this guy while he became a distinctive individual; individual who made you satisfied. that may no longer who he's anymore, and you shouldn't be subjected to that kind of scientific care. He would not even intend to make the attempt to restoration issues by utilising going to counseling with you, and to me, that asserts alot. thankfully for you, you haven't any longer have been given any babies mutually, so immediately, you could concentration on your self. you're able to do what's top for you emotionally and bodily. report for divorce, shelter your self, and discover somebody who will love you sufficient to in no way improve a hand. Take care, and God bless.

Answer 6

Are you saying the marriage was your worship/you god? If that's true then it's time to meet the real God. It's Sunday morning. Get up and take the kids to church. Let them make some new friends and maybe you'll make a new friend in Jesus. I promise, there will be someone there that will know what divorce is like and can help comfort you.

Answer 7

You have two children who need you. Become a devout father and be there for them I am sure they are hurting also. By giving time to them the pain and sadness you feel will slowly become duller. It won;t happen overnight but rushing into a new realtionship will not be the answer. You all need to soothe your wounds and find happiness within yourself so that someday you can be happy again. Friends help but you need to put her behind but do not bash her within their ears. More than likely they will always love Mom long after you don't. Yes you will always feel something for her since she's their Mom but you will meet someone and who knows you might be happier for it but do bot rush into anything.The church did not end your marriage and neither did God. We all have free will which God gave us. She chose to desert her family not you. Be happy be a good Dad,

Answer 8

Close your eyes, take a deep breath and start walking. No one can either give nor take away your happiness --- only YOU can do that. Every time you start to think about your EX --- get up and find something to do. You sound like a very caring person --- show that side of yourself to your sons --- not the dark lonely side --- but the : "I'm moving forward side."

Answer 9

Hey, you still have your kids. Some would envy you for that, 5 and 2, I bet they are adorable. I hope you find some friends and get involved with people. Join a group or find a recreation besides being online so you won't be so lonely.

Answer 10

sorry to hear that. your kids are the priority now in your life. You should pick some good hobbies and stick to them so you can learn something new, meet new people and use your attention there. till you're ready to be back in the dating market again, you probably wanna find some women who will love you and your kids. there is no answer to your path or any one's path. that's life. but right now, you should learn to become emotionally independent and gain happiness by yourself and with your kids.. you gotta to be a happy person and healthy mentally to attract your next spouse or gf. seek counselling if necessary. good luck!