I told my wife i am moving out because im tired of not being loved and it is always about her.?

Question

everything that comes out of her mouth is negative. she promises she will never say those horrible words again. she always uses hateful words that are not true to hurt me. i told her i was moving out because she will never change. im always giving her the benifit of the doubt but a couple days later the mean stuff she had appologized for comes right back out like there was no sorry or conversation that ever happend. then uses the kids aginst me cause im so upset. kids are 13,10,2 all boys. she continually bashes me to no end. IF YOU LOVED SOMEBODY YOU WOULDNT TREAT THEM THIS WAY RIGHT. what would you do if you told her you were moving out and all she did was go to sleep on the couch? I do so much all the time but all she wants is more and constantkey tears me apart on my projects around the house, non stop texting if i go to the store to get milk. i cant even go out to buy a gift for a surprise and she blames me for not wanting to be with the family ect. what do i do?

Answer 1

Id get her some help. She sounds seriously depressed. After that, marriage counseling. If that doesn't help then move on.

Answer 2

I agree that you should move out and let her know that you don't feel your relationship has a future unless she works with you in therapy to develop the relationship skills she needs to keep your family strong and healthy.

I don't know your relationship with your kids, but you might think of it this way. Your kids are at an age where they need to see what a healthy relationship is all about. They are all boys, so they need to see their father a model for a loving, healthy, and respectful relationship. If their male role model is constantly being torn down, what kind of relationships will they seek out when they grow up?

Your wife sounds like she is in a completely subjective world where her ego carries more weight than anyone's opinion. People like that don't change without serious third party counseling and some serious pressure from people outside the relationship. You may want to make your campaign with both your family and hers to let her know that her behavior is outside the norm. If she has been this way her whole life, her parents may be the best people to let her know that it's not right. It's also probably going to take your moving out to let her know your serious.

I'm obviously filling in the blanks based on what you've shared here, but if this rings true, I hope the advice helps.

Good luck to your and your kids.

Answer 3

Oh honey I am SO sorry.It sounds like she is a very angry person.Do you have any idea what about or could it be depression or postpartum since the youngest is two?Have you tried counseling? It is hard to answer without knowing all these things..But I will try. First let me say that as bad as it is to have a split family it is worst to live in a family with so much turmoil.Kids have a hard enough time just growing up and they need to feel loved,safe and secure in their home.....Having said that you need to make sure you have tried everything that you can to make it work and if you have and she is not meeting you half way then maybe it is time to leave for a while....You deserve to be treated with respect and love and you need to teach your children that this is not a except able way to live....A question I would ask your wife is "Is this the way you want our children to think they should be treated when they get married?" I am so sorry I dint have any better answers I hope she does get the help for the kids sakes.It is really sad that her anger is going to cause her children a lifetime of heart break and I dint think this is what god intended when he blessed her with these three beautiful gifts..........Good Luck

Answer 4

You two need some counselling. You sound like you are at the end of your patience and you've been very hurt and if you don't get some couples therapy, I think you really will end up moving out , even though you probably don't really want to leave your house and your kids. Instead of threatening to leave, try asking your wife to go with you to therapy to make the problems better. She may surprise you and have a positive reaction. I hope so. Good Luck.

Answer 5

very true! On the other hand a woman who has had three children, with a 2 yr old. Could be still dealing with post-partum depression. It could either be that, or maybe your wife has mental issues..such as Bi-polar. If she really loved you she should want to find out. If any of the above could be the problem. I am not trying to defend her, I just know I went through something similar..until I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar...also not an easy relationship if so. If she refuses help, then its time to move on. Life is too short to spend it miserable all the time. GL..hope you both come to some sort of healthy resolution on this.

Answer 6

So sad to hear that!
I'm not that sure about your situation, but be sure to find to cause about why they do like that? You got 3 sons already, so if possible try to solve that problem cos many years ago that you have been living together... Ask someone for help ( the one whom you and your wife respect or the one whom you both like or know well). Pls think about if the way she have done is her habit or not? Or she's got problem from somewhere else then whe she sees you doing something she don't like, something wrong happen....?
Sometime you can move somewhere far away from her and the children if possible and let see what will happen. I think you still love her and your sons.

Good luck to you bro,

Answer 7

You dont mention that you have tried talking to your wife and you dont mention what her grievances might be. She is obviously unhappy with you but before you start talking about moving out and leaving your boys you need to try to find out why this is happening.

Moving out is taking the easy route and if you do it without exhausting every opportunity to make amends with your wife then you will regret it for the rest of your life. I'm not suggesting that what you are going through isn't awful because it sounds as if you are really going through hell, but you DO need to communicate better with your wife. If she is using the kids against you it means she is trying to hurt you which means that she does still care ( otherwise she wouldn't bother ).

Answer 8

Gday fella.
Stone the flamin crows she sounds like shes a bit of a fruit cake.
Tell her to bugger the flaming heck out of your house thats what id do.
Why did you marry such a flippen nut case in the first place.
If your kids hate her too go and get a divorce and get a new wife and live happily ever after
Cheers.

Answer 9

I guess the best thing to do for now is to leave. You need to do what's best for yourself and your kids. Maybe you leaving will make her take a long hard look at herself and realise that she does love you, but also that you won't put up with being treated that way. I believe that if you let someone treat you in a way you don't like then they will continue to do it. You have to show her your serious.

Answer 10

stand up for yourself, honey!

don't let your sons think that it is okay to treat a person the way you are being treated. Tell her she needs to get professional help since she has been unable to change her behavior on her own.

if she refuses then you need to remove yourself from the situation. you might also want to consider removing your children from her toxic environment!

also.....if you were a woman and your husband was pulling this crap there would be a million posts on how you need to pack up in the middle of the night and high-tail it with your boys. it is so annoying to see ppl telling you to stand by her. talk about double standards.

if she refuses to seek help there is nothing you can do but protect yourself and protect your children.

Answer 11

Follow through on your threat to leave, she obviously doesn't believe you. She is not worried about losing you. Perhaps you guys need a trial separation. If you are truly unhappy, she should acknowledge this. Perhaps you guys could benefit from marriage counseling. Ask her if she would be willing to go to counseling. Tell her you wont return until you see some progress being made from the sessions of counseling.