We met each other before she got married, and instantly felt an attraction to one another. He was abusive then, but now it is much worse and she continues to second-guess her decision. I asked her if she had to decide to marry the guy over again after she knew what life would be like if she did, would she? She replied no. After hearing this, I begin to wonder maybe I can do something about this, but I don't know what. I care for her very much, and I can't stand someboby that can beat his wife. What should my next move be???
2007-01-27 20:37:12 · 13 answers · asked by Inbetween a rock and a hard spot 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should back away, and allow her to decide if and when she wants to end her marriage. Keep in mind that you are hearing only one side of things- her side. Even if he IS a lousy wife beater, it is HER problem, not yours, or anybody else's. Even if you are motivated by only concern for her, you ARE playing around(at least emotionally) with a married woman. That is NEVER the right thing to do. NEVER. Besides, what move COULD you make? Kill her husband? Beat him up? Sleep with his wife? Face it. It's her marriage, and only she can end it, fix it, or change it.
2007-01-27 22:44:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Agreed.. she must get out,,but...it has to be her choice and all you can do is be there when she needs you. Your question to yourself is how long will you wait? Have a lawyer in mind for her, keep a warm safe place for her, and a change of clothes for her at your place. Every time he becomes more abusive listen, be compassionate and offer solace. Do not allow yourself to be a doormat and have your heart open to another woman and make sure she knows this.
2007-01-27 21:16:09 · answer #2 · answered by tanja3703 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
enable her recognize you wish a relationship, yet be careful. enable her recognize you comprehend, and also you've were given to be VERY comfortable jointly with her and her thoughts. take a seat and communicate about having a relationship jointly with her, yet do not attempt to refer to her privatley, it may scare her. Take her someplace publicly and refer to her, about you desirous to be in a relationshi jointly with her and spot how she feels and then bypass from there. This in all likelihood wasn't a lot help. Sorry.
2016-10-16 05:14:15 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I disagree with most of these people, run run run away. You knew her before she got married? She didnt take the hint, help then? There is nothing you can do and she is using you for support, but would never be with you. If she left him, and got help and got on her feet again, then she would be reminded of him when she is with you. IT WON'T WORK, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!
2007-01-27 22:41:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
change her self worth and u may be able to change her and how she sees her life with him.right now she takes it, she may have had a very controlling dad in her childhood, often people with a low self esteem will marry men who are controlling and abusive. if u can get her self worth to change she will see that she doesn't deserve this kind of treatment and she may be able to leave him , if she knows there is something else out there for her.
2007-01-27 21:13:23 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stp being a Capt.Saveemallday and move on. Too many girls without problems like that to get with. You should know better. Women don't respect men who treat them good that is why she is with this guy.
2007-01-28 06:09:10 · answer #6 · answered by Richard E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try and convince her to get out of the relationship and go to the police station.Right now, she needs a friend that she can trust and talk too.
2007-01-27 20:53:33 · answer #7 · answered by caramelqueen19832002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL YOU COULD START BY JUST BEING HER FRIEND.TALKING TO HER/OFFERING HER A SAFE PLACE TO GO.LET HER KNOW THAT YOU ARE THERE FOR HER.SHE DOES NOT HAVE TO FACE THIS ALONE.LET HER KNOW THAT SHE DESERVES SOMEONE THAT WILL LOVE HER AND BE THERE FOR HER.YOU SHOULD SHOW HER THE WAY A MAN TREATS A WOMAN HE LOVES.YOU SHOULD BUILD HER SELF ESTEEM BACK.HELP HER FIND THE COURAGE TO STAND UP TO THIS MAN IN A COURT OF LAW.
2007-01-27 21:15:51 · answer #8 · answered by noga 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Encourage her get out from the relationship.
2007-01-27 20:40:44 · answer #9 · answered by Zimone78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
better stay out of this and let her make the decision.
be her friend.
better not expect her to immediately jump out of the pot and into the frying pan either.
2007-01-27 20:43:15 · answer #10 · answered by j_mang 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋