My mother-in-law has custody of my husband's eight year old son and demands that we watch the boy on the days she wants us to watch him. What ever is convenient for her (which winds up being Tuesday, Friday and Saturday nights so she can go out drinking and partying). We have plans for Fridays and Saturdays ourselves and I even turn down my daughter when it comes to watching my grandkinds on the weekends. My husband has admitted he is afraid of his mother and what she might do if he turns her down. She even goes behind my back to ask my husband and has said that I didn't have any say so in this decision. My husband pays child support (twice the amount he was ordered) and we have even tried to work out an agreement with her to have my husband's son over during the week when we weren't so busy, but our weekends were full. She got angry exploded and told my husband he needed to get rid of me. What can I do to stop her interferring and demands and my husband to consider my feelings?
2007-01-27 19:47:52 · 4 answers · asked by Gypsy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Oh my. I once had the mother-in-law from hell, and I wonder if your mother-in-law and mine are related! My ex mother-in-law is very controlling and manipulative and she uses emotional blackmail to get what she wants out of my ex-husband. Do you know why he is my ex-husband? It is because she manipulated him one too many times and threatened that if he allowed me to "ruin" his life yet again (by moving back to California as we had BOTH planned), then she would never lift another finger to help him again. This woman barely was there for him as it was. My ex would rather placate his domineering, manipulative mother than to listen to his wife or do what was best for our marriage. As a result of listening to his mother and allowing her influence to dominate every decision he made with regard to our marriage, he made very bad choices (such as kidnapping our daughter to prevent me from going to California to see my father before he died). Suffice it to say, our marriage is over (thankfully) and our kids are with me. They are living a NORMAL life, thank you very much with people who are not crazy.
Your mother-in-law needs to stay out of your marriage. YOU are married to your husband - not her. No offense to your husband, but he is a grown man and he needs to stand up to his mother instead of cowering to her demands. If he was ordered to pay a specific amount of child support (why is his son living with her?), then why on earth is he allowing her to intimidate and bully him into paying more? I am not sure why it is inconvenient or a bother to have his son at your home to be babysat by his own father, but that was not the point you were trying to make by your question. If your husband's mother is demanding babysitting time and double the child-support payments, I would consult an attorney and revisit the court order. If he is afraid he will lose the chance to be with his son, then he needs to realize that what his mother is doing is wrong, and if he can show the court what she is doing, then she may lose custody. Family courts really do frown on emotional blackmail, manipulation, and anything else that goes against the best interests of a child. She sounds unstable, and your stepson really should not be with her. Just my opinion. Also, if he is worried about damaging the relationship with his mother, then he should consider that no relationship where a mother treats her son this way is a healthy one. She is setting a bad example for her grandson and not giving him a healthy home environment in which to live. She SO needs to get a life and stay out of yours. Good luck!
2007-01-27 20:04:21 · answer #1 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Husband needs to grow a set and fast.Your Mother In Law will push things exactly as far as he allows..also if he was any kind of a man he would of put her in her place when she said he had to get rid of you.
So talk to your Hubby and let him know he needs to get a spine and put her in her place or the next time he wants sex tell him to see the woman in his life for it..his Mom.
p.s. Momma's boys are not really marriage material.
2007-01-28 03:56:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stand your ground, no one can use you un-less you allow it. Tell your wimpy hubby to grow up and get a backbone! Or go to court and regain custody of the boy. (Cutting off g-ma's child support, might just get her knickers in a bunch.)
2007-01-28 03:59:10 · answer #3 · answered by MC 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
nothing you can do. either deal with it, or leave. he sounds too old to be a momma's boy. if he doesn't hack that umbilical cord now, he never will. since you mentioned that you have grandkids, how old is your husband? was he like this before?
2007-01-28 03:54:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋