Divorced for 6month and It still gets to me why he just couldn't come clean with everything?I thought if you told the truth it sets you free?He could've saved himself of almost a life time of guilt that still rides him like a monkey on his back.I mean I knew enough that it ultimately ended our marriage, but why does the not knowing issues still haunt me and effect my life now?
2007-01-27 18:34:26 · 9 answers · asked by Skinz 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You were betrayed by the one that promised to love you forever, so, of course, this is going to bother you for awhile. Don't lose hope or think that every man is like this. It may take some time, but you will not be haunted by this forever. Eventually, it will just be something bad that happened in your past. Keep your focus on your future. You will find a man that will love and respect you. In the long run, he did you a favor. You will find love and happiness, but he will be the one with the burden of guilt.
2007-01-27 19:01:44 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not knowing everything makes you feel like a fool.This man you loved and trusted with your heart and looked up to and was proud to say he was your husband and probably even said to friends and family that he loves you and you no he would never cheat on you.Not knowing this man at all like you thought you did make you wonder about yourself.If it was so easy for him to make a fool out of you then how will you ever no any man.And not knowing the full existent of what really happened makes you unsure about what is real and what isn't.How can you be happy when you don't no if other people are saying what a fool you are . You feel ashamed of yourself.At lease that is how i felt about myself and still do.Anyone who tells you, you need to let go has never been through it or was never really in love with that person.You will never no everything he did he sure in the hell ain't going to tell you he rather eat a hand full of poison then tell you what he did.It's a guy thing and guilt.
2007-01-27 19:18:19 · answer #2 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough one. But it does sound like you are really focusing on him and how he should set himself free by disclosing the truth. What you really need to do is focus on you. Focus on the very fact that it was a relationship based on dishonesty. That is that. It doesn't really matter what actually happened or what didn't or with who or whatever, the bottom line is, that in a dishonest relationship, if it werent for this dishonest situation, it wouldve been another.... either way and no matter what, there wouldve been dishonesty in someway or another. The important thing is for you to accept that. Accept the situation as it is and learn from it - realize that you can use this to be a better person in the future. You need to put it in perspective and not let the details eat you up. I know that is really hard to do... I know that with everything in you, you want to be told the whole truth. But sometimes this is just not possible. In these cases you really need to accept it, let yourself get angry over it, but then let it go.
I hope you find peace ....
2007-01-27 18:44:08 · answer #3 · answered by zaytox0724 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it still gets haunts you maybe it is because you gave him that power.......yeah, your marriage ended but you are still not rested because you still havent got a clean confession from him......you still are looking to him for what you already have.........you are focusing on him for what you already have...the TRUTH!! your truth!! If it is the truth too you and you know it, dont wait for him to relieve you from this denial of the truth, learn how to cope and deal with this pain from the break up.....woman, i know what you are going threw, i too went threw this uneasyness for close to a year........i knew the truth but it was killing me cause he never told or came clean......the more i dig, the more he comes clean, but ultimatly i had to come to terms with myself that if i already know what i know then what am i wanting from him? I was avoiding the painful feelings that come with accepting the truth....make sense? hope this helps.
2007-01-27 18:44:53 · answer #4 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget him, just come to terms with the divorce. You had reasons to divorce even though he didnt come clean. That's emotional abuse I guess and you will be ok. Try counselling and also read this article:
http://www.relationship-affairs.com/Divorce-advice.html
2007-01-27 18:39:46 · answer #5 · answered by Sofia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously he is the one that did wrong,you have nothing to dwell on really,just get on with your life,h's the one that has to live with what he has done,what he has lost,live and be happy
2007-01-27 21:27:26 · answer #6 · answered by TOM 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guilt. If you done nothing wrong, go on, move on and forget it.
2007-01-27 18:39:52 · answer #7 · answered by m c 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want full closure, the not knowing part is the part that's killing you and freaking you out.
2007-01-27 18:44:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you ALLOW them to.
2007-01-27 19:33:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋