How can I be sure my boyfriend is the guy I'm supposed to marry?

Question

I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and we were friends for a while first, the relationship is really healthy and he is wonderful to me. He has never intentionally hurt me, he is always there for me, always faithful. I've had moments where I've felt sure he is the man I'm supposed to marry, but now that the relationship isn't brand new I'm starting to see things I'm not sure I can live with. I don't know if I'm just scared of marrying the wrong man or if I'm now seeing the light. I guess the heart of my question is this; Is it more true that any marriage can work out if you are willing to commit and give it your heart and soul, or that there are certian personality compatabilities that HAVE to match up?

Please no suggestions including divorce, I do not believe in divorce and am not willing to marry someone with divorce as an option in the back of my mind.

Answer 1

Ask yourself these questions: Is he an honorable person? Do I trust him? Does he treat me well? Do we share similar values, like about religion and whether to have children? Do you share similar financial goals?

If you want to get basic, ask just these two questions: Do I want to be more like him? Would I want my children to be like him?

It sounds like you have valid concerns. Listen to those concerns. You don't have to get married tomorrow, wait until you feel sure. And, if you do get engaged, get premarital counseling to make sure you agree on the important things.

It's not true that any marriage can work out; some are just wrong.

Answer 2

Not long ago I was asking myself the exact same questions. I have found that love can take you anywhere, as long as you believe in it. I have found that the key to a happy and healthy marrige is to always do your best to be understanding of each other, never jump to conclusions, always put the others needs first, and probably the most important is to always stand beside eachother, neither is inferior, you are equally important. Also I have found that in order to live with eachother, you will need to learn to make exceptions for the other, which you wouldnt typically make any other time. Basically use all those rules you learned in kintergarden to use. Good luck. Not all decisions are of the brain, some are of the heart. How much do you love each other and what are you willing to do for each other?

Answer 3

well when i first met my husband i knew it was him.. but that does not mean that we do not have our differences.. Marriage is a compromise, you give up things that bother him and he will do the same. I suggest you talk about your differences, maybe there are things that bother him too.. communication is the BEST you can do in any relationship especially marriage. If you still feel unsure about it after talking, then, postpone wedding plans and give each other more time to see if you can work things out. good luck and warm wishes

Answer 4

I know people are going to say believe me you'll know. Every person comes with baggage, skeletons, and annoying *** habits. You will know when you get into an arguement and by the end of it you two are laughing at each other, you do things for each other when you don't feel like it. you two enjoy each others company, even when you are just sitting around not doing much. also, you two will have such love, support, and respect for one another. That's how you will know.

Answer 5

through experience....just because now it feels so good to fall in love..it doesn't mean its right...balance your life with moderations between intuition and logic... love shouldn't be conditional when you love someone commit to him with implying logics so you wouldn't look like a fool who is a hopeless romantic blindly loving someone because you are taken over by your emotion...a year is quite long but also short...it doesn't matter how long the relationship is but the events that happens within that relationship and how deep the level of connections that are between the both of you... have you both really seen the worst of each other? have you both ever pushed each other to their breaking point just to see how you both react and how your relationship is affected? think of the possibilities and the events that have gone through that really tells you he is the one...and especially think of the worst times in your relationship because those are the times that a person's true color shows and also its inevitable that in the future far worse things will happen in the relationship...so anticipate the things that could easily go wrong or have gone wrong and analyze from there on how both of you approach each other on certain situations and how it greatly or somewhere at the back of your mind it affected your relationship...because only with great struggles will you ever see someone that is really committed enough that they would put up and go head over heels to cope with things just to maintain a relationship they wanna be involve with...think somewhere around relationship's main basis....that is : compassion,unconditional,sacrifices
,trust,chemistry,commitment,
and love

Answer 6

If you love your boyfriend and willing to to commit and work at whatever comes your way then you shouldn't be unsure. maybe you are just scared to get married. Theres something in everyone that we dislike so its normal for you to see things about your man that you don't like.

Answer 7

wait. move in with him and see if you can work with those things and love him because of them. most importantly wait until you are certain. until you are not even thinking about asking htis question.

Answer 8

"How can I be sure my boyfriend is the guy I'm supposed to marry?" Ask Miss Cleo.