Okay, I am looking for SERIOUS advice. This is probably going to sound very ridiculous but I am desperate. I am going to try to make this short, so I apologize if it is kind of long. Well, I was dating a guy I will call D. I became pregnant and we now have twins together. He started dating my best friend, who I will call M. Then I started dating our friend who I will call N. So yeah, we were both cheating on each other. On my birthday, M caught me being...intimate with N. She promised she would not tell D though, and she seemed ashamed of me. But little did I know at the time, she was probably happy. Since she was actually dating him behind my back...Then, she became pregnant. [& lost the baby] but at the time of the fight, we did not know the baby had died. She told D about N and I, so I moved out with the twins. D and M broke up since they considered the loss of the baby a "sign" that they weren't supposed to be together. D is now trying to get ahold of me, wanting to get back together & to see the twins. Am I making the right decision by moving in with N ? Is it wrong to keep the babies from D ? I still love D, but I love N too. Please, help me. I know many people have asked ******** questions, but sadly, mine is for real.
2007-01-27 16:15:18 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I would also like to mention we are all about the same age, 20.
2007-01-27 16:16:13 · update #1
Sorry for the confusing letter things, haha.
2007-01-27 16:28:44 · update #2
The last person who replied mentioned me moving in with N. Yes, I did already. And as for financial problems, I don't really have any. I am supported by D's father, like I have been since I found out I was pregnant. [My parents kicked me out, so he has taken care of everything, even now that I am gone]
2007-01-27 17:00:04 · update #3
I think you should allow D to see his babies. If you haven't moved in with N, wait a while. You're still confused about your feelings. It wouldn't be fair to N or to yourself. What you really need is some time away from both D and N to reflect on the decisions you've made and the lessons you've learned from them. Take the time to figure out what you want and don't want in a relationship and what can honestly offer a relationship. Are you even ready for a relationship? You have two babies to think about now and they will be learning from you as they grow with every decision you make. Make your decisions based on what feels right inside. If it feels wrong or doesn't feel right or you can't figure it out, don't make the decision until you know for certain what feels best. There is no rush. Not that you mentioned it, and I wont assume, but if finances are a problem, get the help you need as the single mom that you are without depending on either N or D (D should be paying child support though). There are state programs you can use and you shouldn't feel ashamed to use them. Your kids should come first even if it means having to step on your pride. With that, you will have a "safety net" as you work on making yourself more self sufficient. Take the time you need to make the decisions that are best for you and your kids. It's not a good idea to jump into anything without thinking things through. Getting back with D simply because you have kids together isn't a good idea. That doesn't ensure that you and he will be good together as a couple.
2007-01-27 16:47:11 · answer #1 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to avoid both of them and decide what makes you happy. those people are all just in it for the sex but you have babies to care for now. If you get together with either of them without a lot of consideration, you are just keeping a vicious cycle going. If you are somewhere you can live with no problem, go on dates - no sex - and see if there is something there that doesn't have to do with sex and you will be happier in the long run even if it is with neither of those guys.
2007-01-28 00:25:09 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First my dear, grow up. You have two beautiful children who don't need mommy running between guys. Yes you should let, sorry lost the order of the letters. But you should let your children see there dad. As for who you should live with. I think your better off getting away from it all. Everyone cheating on everyone else. Would you be able to trust either one of them? Do what is best for you and your twins.
2007-01-28 00:26:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you need to grow up, there are chidren invovled in this
mess, and those child should come first regardless of what going
if he the father of the children then he has a right to be in there
life, if you want to be with the other guy, then go there,but
it sound like all you need to get your act together this is not a
healthy way for your twins.. get it right for the kids sake.
2007-01-28 00:33:06 · answer #4 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't keep "D"'s children from him; you are young, you should be focusing on those babies not on D or N, or L or M or anyone else; you are now in the position of having to provide everything to two babies
2007-01-28 00:26:25 · answer #5 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him see the babies, but don't get to close to him yourself
2007-01-28 00:27:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋