If people don't groom themselves because they are "comfortable" around you- is this a compliment or insult?

Question

I am really not sure how to take it because part of me is wondering if I am just not worth the bother of them getting fixed up, i.e. clothes, hair, makeup, etc... but then I am happy when people are comfortable around me and "let their hair down". I guess I really don't know the difference here--and it could be that they are depressed and aren't thinking about me at all.

Answer 1

If a person no longer groomed him/herself properly around me anymore, I would take it this way:

1. If it were a close friend, I wouldn't really think much of it; infact I would be flattered that they are comfortable around me;

HOWEVER:

2. If it were a boyfriend - alarm bells would ring in my head if he were acting this way after a relatively short courting phase - meaning "Omg, is he taking me forgranted already?" -- BUT if he were a boyfriend of a few years whom I feel perfectly secure with, I wouldn't mind it - it truly means he's comfortable with me, but I would still expect him to be perfectly groomed when the occasion calls for it.

Friends who are comfortable enough around me and let their hair down infront of me are the ones I really appreciate - however if I noticed that a friend had totally let go of their grooming habits I would feel close enough to them to let them know - in a nice way, ofcourse.

And then, ofcourse, I agree with your last sentiment - it could be that they are depressed and are bogged down with a really big problem and are focusing on that alone. Your closeness to them would help you ascertain this.

Well, those are my thoughts on the matter, anyway. Hope it helps you in some way!

Answer 2

Usually when people say something like thatits because they feel like they don't have to try and compete or impress you cuz they know that ur a good friend and won't judge them based on how they look.On the other hand,I would probably think the same thing as you did like I'm not worth it.

Answer 3

hmm, when i take less care of myself in front of ppl (don't worry as much bout my hair, maybe dressing a bit more relaxed, etc) is usually just cause i'm comfy around the ppl, those people are usually family members (obviously) and really close friends, it really just depends on the person.

Answer 4

I am sorry honey but i do feel that these type of reactions are insults because people should always look their best in any situation and even if they know the person! It doesnt matter, they should not be walking around like a slob, especially in front of their friends, please comfront them about this! Thankyou......

Answer 5

well its an insult if you go out with them. if its a family member or roommate or very very close friend its just how it is.