We'v been married almosy 20 years. I'm not bragging, but I'm attractive and my kids are great. I am a Christian and I do not beleive in divorce. He didn't say Merry Christmas. He hasn't recognized our anniversary in 3 years or else he's been mean. My birthday is in 2 days and he's planning nothing. He always ruins anything fun I have going on. I am independant. He has no friends where I do. I don't know what to do.
2007-01-27 16:04:02 · 15 answers · asked by heartday 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I guess you will have to plan your own birthday fun. Just enjoy youself and maybe he will see you having all the fun and join in. If not, let him be the old-stick-in-the-mud. If he ruins your fun again tell him mind his own business and go-away
2007-01-27 16:29:41 · answer #1 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just said you're independent. Why should he act as if your not. You don't need him, this attitude is enough to destroy the relationship. You charge him with verbal and emotional abuse, the two most unprovable accusations out there. In fact they are the most abused phrases out there that disgruntled wife's throw out without caution. Sure must be annoying to be so predictable. So let me do some predicting! This carelessness on your part will continue, in fact it will escalate to you diagnosing him with whatever psychological disorder happens to be popular, maybe bipolar? He gets tired of the REAL abuse and finds some REAL sweet girl that will love him and maybe actually show she needs him, unlike his independent wife. He will cheat giving you a way out of the marriage (biblical) and you get to become the bitter ex while he starts to experience real love and lives happily ever after. 2 years from now you remember this chat and a cold sweat comes over you, knowing that there was a time when you could have stopped all this insanity and tried to be a wife again. Will you though? Nope, you're a Christian independent woman who think she is more intelligent than her husband. Now guess whose living in a fantasy world? Me or you?
2007-01-27 16:44:00 · answer #2 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see where your husband is verbally or emotionally abusive. Those are not signs of any of what you have mentioned. It could be that he is going through some changes with his life. Many people believe in the 'mid-life crises' that men go through, but some say it is all psychological.
You may want to ask him to go and see a doctor to have him evaluated or maybe a good check-up will do. Just to see how he is doing physically. It could be that he is going through some kind of depression or is maybe is stressed out from his job or whatsoever the case may be.
Just tell him that you are concerned about him and just want to make sure everything is fine with him.
Consider on reading these two books called, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage". Sometimes husbands act like this when they are not getting the attention from their spouse. They have needs too, and we as women should meet their needs. It is all about giving to them, not all about nagging at them. (smile)
2007-01-27 16:31:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been married for 24 yrs. and it sounds like we have a lot in common,husband has no friends,he is always raining on my fun,he is never happy went to a counselor he told me verbal abuse is just as bad and will sometimes escalate into physical abuse. He may need some medical attention. My husband is very insecure about our relationship,has no self esteem either.I hope for your sake you get help or just get out there is more to life than having someone belittle you,you're probably wondering why I stay,well I finally had enough it was either kill him or divorce him needless to say I'm not a widow. Good luck
2007-01-27 16:59:52 · answer #4 · answered by thelma louise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to celebrate your birthday, throw a nice birthday party for yourself. Let the kids have fun. Invite your friends. If your husband choose to stay in the room, at least you will have a good time. Do not use him as an excuse for your unhappiness. Do your part to make yourself happy.
Happy early birthday!
2007-01-27 16:38:31 · answer #5 · answered by RunSueRun 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he might be depressed. Have you talked to his doctor? There are wonderful medications. Can you get him in for a routine appt or to talk about stress and then call his doc and tell him what you and the kids are going through?
2007-01-27 16:10:39 · answer #6 · answered by t jefferson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he's miserable and hates himself so he wants you to feel as miserable as he feels. You deserve better than this, so learn to beat him at his own misery game or get out. Life is too short to be brought down my miserable controlling people. Happy Birthday!
2007-01-27 16:45:53 · answer #7 · answered by Krissy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
here are some sites for you to see. And remember weather it emotional,physical or child abuse, abuse is abuse and it's against the law. wishing you the best. And hopefully you have a happy birthday:)
2007-01-27 18:28:33 · answer #8 · answered by ben27hernandez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him and explain everything that is going on. If that doesnt work divorce might be the only option.
2007-01-27 16:08:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure if he is being verbally abusive... You really need to talk to the pastor of your church about this... Seek counseling and help for your marriage....
2007-01-27 16:09:28 · answer #10 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋