I agree that she is being manipulated by her soon to be ex. They are living 30 miles apart now and he says she will have to move to where he lives because the distance is too far for him to have easy access to his kids. He has even demanded that he be allowed to have the 4 month old for the weekend-even though he has spent a total of 40 minutes alone with the baby since birth. The babe is also totally breast-fed. I agree he will probably burn out from all the" togetherness" and reneg on his support but how to convince an emotionally abused girl of this. My daughter wants him and his family to be actively involved but the threats are wearing her down.He is the kind of guy who always has to be right and win at all costs. How do we call his bluffs? These kids are alrady the pawns and it has only been a week. We are writing down everything that he says but he will deny it anyway. Any great lawyers in Ottawa that anyone can recommend or what to look for in a good lawyer?
2007-01-27 15:59:29 · 5 answers · asked by june.johnston 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The first thing you must do is insure the emotional well being of your daughter. Her life is falling apart and her ex is playing a power game with her. This is something you both must realize, he is abrasive and this is nothing shy of all out manipulation.
The distance he must travel to visit the children is insignificant and asking your daughter to relocate is unfair and another attempt to control her. The children are not property nor are they exclusively his.
Systematically writing down what was said on what day and the demands that are made is a good thing. You need to look in the yellow pages and find a lawyer specializing in family law and divorce. Be very specific when talking with him/her that you want a mercenary to represent your daughter in all matters period.
If there are threats being made towards your daughter file for a restraining order in court, and make a police complaint.
He is unreasonable and will not stop at anything to have his way and this will prove to be very difficult in dealing with him.
Having a lawyer with a nasty reputation in these matters who will represent your daughter everywhere is an assett for her.
It is important to protect your daughter and her children without any feelings of what you are doing to him. Men like him only understand intimidation, so play his game with qualified talent.
Hire a lawyer and put a stop to this nonsense.
Peace
2007-01-27 17:26:09 · answer #1 · answered by nmp948 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
contact a lawyer, any lawyer for advice immediately. You want to be cooperative with him because he is the father of the children but you don't to be his puppets either. Inform him it would be too much of a financial strain to move at this time but you are willing to allow weekend visits at your current residence provided he secure his own housing for the time he is visiting if it is too far to drive to and from. 30 miles is not too far away to visit, people sometimes travel 2 hours to go to work, he's crazy. Your daughter unfortunately already knows the true, she's abused by not brainwashed. Is it possible to seek counseling for her? She's needs help rebuilding her self-esteem and her sense of who she is in the world outside of her marriage. If he wants to keep the kids and he poses no harm to them let him but your daughter should not be the one to take them to visits nor be allowed to have any direct contact with him if he is abusing her. If he is fact abusing the children as well file a child abuse report as well as the harassment. You can write any and everything down but if there are never any police reports or attempts at restraining orders you have no proof.
2007-01-27 16:56:17 · answer #2 · answered by Bonita Applebaum 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
babies are not to be used as a bargaining tool. your daughter will have to be with him at least during the weekend. i feel you need to be away from all this so that you can view this objectively. i also feel parents most of the time compound the problem. ask for the help of a priest or church minister to find a solution. the kids will only become pawns if you allow. let your daughter decide ........ for her own sake and that of her kids .......
2007-01-27 16:14:52 · answer #3 · answered by easy e 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell him to deal with it and to get a life and if he wants to see the kids he will have to go there and that all its to it good luck
2007-01-27 17:46:08 · answer #4 · answered by Christine M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ignore him, let him know you aren't hearing it.
2007-01-27 16:09:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋