like when she wants to go somewhere she has to ask him and if he say no say home then she won't go. and one day she baked pizza and he called and said he wanted chicken and fries so she through the pizza away and mad chicken and fries. it has go so bad that she used to wear makeup and she doesn't any more cause one day she came home with makeup on and he got mad and she went in the bathroom and washed it off and she gone say whatever makes him happy she will do it. help.
2007-01-27 15:37:09 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
want to talk to her about it but i don't want to hurt her feels, and i don't want her to get mad at me. the sad thing is her brother hates him her mom didn't want her to marry him hell she didn't want her to date him when they where dating.
2007-01-27 15:47:45 · update #1
She needs to get a mind of her own.
Her husband is too dominating, and the sad thing is, she allows it.
2007-01-27 15:43:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand - why didn't she save the pizza for another time? Are you sure there's a problem? You should check with your spouse before your go somewhere, not for 'permission' but as a courtesy. If he doesn't like makeup and she is happy to take it off her him, why should that concern anyone? Is she complaining? She's still hanging with you - even tho you seemed determined to hurt their marriage. An abusive man will separate a woman from her family and friends. That is the key here. Has it happened? If not, and she's not complaining, they may just have a different style of relationship.
2007-01-28 00:08:49 · answer #2 · answered by t jefferson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like she has a controlling husband, but it seems like she is tolerating his behavior as well. So, if she likes being treated like that, there is nothing you can do. If you talk to her and she still tolerates his behavior, then guess you need to just let them be.
She married him, he must have been like this before marrying him. What is wrong with her is that she doesn't have a 'back bone'. She doesn't know how to stand up for herself, she doesn't know how to say her opinions, and she is weak. But no woman, should be treated like a slave either. And that is what she is portraying herself to be. A slave in her own home. This man doesn't respect her, he is just a man that just cares about himself, and to me that is one selfish man.
If she starts to get tired of his behavior, and if she decides to leave him, she will most definately need some counseling.
2007-01-28 00:00:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This does not sound good for your Cousin, she needs to get help. No Spouse has the right to control the other, before long watch your Cousin and let her know that if he lays a Hand on her to get HELP immediately. You Cousin has all the Right to be her own Person. Has she tried talking to him about how he treats her?I wish her all the Best.
2007-01-27 23:50:43 · answer #4 · answered by lousylaus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She knew how he was when she chose to marry him. It was her choice to enter a union with a tyrant. I don't agree with it but there is nothing anyone can do - unless HE and she want to go to marriage counselling. As the old adage says "she made her bed, now she has to lie in it". I'm sorry you have to suffer seeing her go through that. Just support her the best you can to help keep her spirits up.
2007-01-27 23:49:15 · answer #5 · answered by In my humble opinion... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your cousin is being emotionally abused, I also suspect the occasion physical abuse. You have a right to be concerned, but there's not much you can do, it is HER marraige and if she wants out, then it's up to her, but you did say "whatever makes him happy, she'd do it"...she's trying to be a submissive wife, nothing wrong with that...but the other areas...you can't jump in till she asks you...otherwise you're just meddling in their marriage, even if it's out of concern.
2007-01-27 23:47:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs to sit back and think... If he is this controlling and mentally and emotionally abusive now what makes her think that it will never turn physical???? It will only get worse i think. She may have to leave and seperate from him for the time being and then they need to go to marriage counseling together... He should not be treating her like this at all.
http://www.drphil.com
2007-01-27 23:53:48 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for her let her speak her mind with you, let her explore her thoughts, I am sure having her brother and mom express their displeasure is enough, she needs to see that her relationship is harmful for herself. At this point there really is nothing you can do unless there is significant physical abuse. And yes this is really abusive even if it may not be physical yet
2007-01-27 23:52:32 · answer #8 · answered by Ranger189 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is extremely possessive and concerned about her looks being so charming. Probably she has to be a little more communicative and assuring.
2007-01-27 23:49:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you really can't change anything until she wants it to change. I'm sure you have try talking to her about this, but really if she happy and likes this then you should stay out it
2007-01-27 23:47:16 · answer #10 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋