My heart has open wounds
and you are the salt on them
Teasing me without a word
spoken by your lips
My Heart has open wounds
And you try to heal them
By smiling and waving at
my broken body
My heart has open wounds
That you have patched up
You always know when to
make me feel loved
How Did you like that? I just made it up
2007-01-27 15:29:08 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
i like it i think it is very beautifull. what made you think of that. i like it!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-27 15:33:34 · answer #1 · answered by britney d 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Salt on wounds = cliche
make me feel loved = abstract
without a word spoken by your lips = redundant
patched up= cliche
Good poetry avoids the use of cliches and abstractions, and makes every word count.
2007-01-27 15:33:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Nice
2007-01-27 15:32:11 · answer #3 · answered by Pantherempress 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beautiful. Hmm...described me perfectly, too.
Good job! Keep writing!
2007-01-27 15:31:54 · answer #4 · answered by kristen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's fine, although I really think you should have seen a cardiologist.
2007-01-27 15:34:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now I think I have a cure for my insomnia
2007-01-27 15:32:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your poem has depth and feel,
your voice is soft and real,
I am glad your mine still.
2007-01-27 15:34:57 · answer #7 · answered by thresher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it. I think it's really good.
2007-01-27 15:32:01 · answer #8 · answered by Nico 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your imagery is a bit off...Sorry...not my cup of tea.
2007-01-27 15:33:37 · answer #9 · answered by Optimistic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounded very teen-angst-y.
2007-01-27 15:37:41 · answer #10 · answered by Susie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice...
2007-01-27 15:32:43 · answer #11 · answered by ஐ♥Gin♥ஐ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋