P.S. I don't wan't him to get hurt! People think that we make a good couple. But I am not sure I do. We don't talk as much to eachother anymore but I would still like to be his BFF again! It has been about 3 months since we have actually had a conversation! :(
2007-01-27 14:57:55 · 20 answers · asked by Anna 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
He stays close to you because he really likes you and want to be your boyfriend, not you friend. By chasing after him as just a friend, you are hurting him even more than you already have. He feels that when you chase him, he still has a chance to win your love. You string him along until his heart can't take anymore and he leaves.
I think that you should sit down and have a serious discussion with him. You are already hurting him, so it'll be hard to hurt him any more than you already have.
I see this all the time at school and sometimes it makes me feel a little sick at how insensitive girls are towards the feelings of boys. Do you girls even know that they have feelings?
2007-01-27 15:27:41 · answer #1 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to BFF you have to start by talking to him directly and speak to him about what you want and need from him. Give him a chance to express how he feels and let him know your intention is not to hurt him but you're not 100% sure you're compatible in a dating relationship because of the recent changes in your relationship.
Be be prepared for what you're asking for. Settng him free means he will meet other girls and also be close to them, as friends and intimately. He won't be comfortable talking to you about it because you're his ex-girlfriend and he wants to maintain a friendship. So there will be a part of his life you have no idea about. Plus there might come a day when you're single and he's happy commited. Last but not least dating other girls means he'll have less time for you. Are your ready for that? Really think about what you want because there is no going back and forth.
I think you're better off talking to him about how you feel about the changes and discuss your needs together instead of making such a harsh decision based on minor changes. People change their habits from time to time. You'll never be satisfied in any relationship if you expect everything to remain consistent and controllable. Don't lose a great guy! Chances are he misses you as much as you miss him.
2007-01-27 23:13:19 · answer #2 · answered by Bonita Applebaum 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happened in the first place, to make you two not talk for so long? There is not best way to say it so you should just say it "i just want to be friends" the sooner the better. You say you are not sure, so does that mean that you could like him? You should think this over and know 100% that you dont want him as a boyfriend before you tell him that you dont like him that way.
2007-01-27 23:06:03 · answer #3 · answered by gotansas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try following options: -
1. Just say bluntly that u r not in love with his. He will not get hurt.
2. Write a letter with all your heart out in writing and post to him.
3. Send an E Mail.
4. Send a Text message thru your cell phone to him.
5. Send ur best friend to her to explain your mind and intentions.
Option 5 is strongly recommended
2007-01-27 23:09:39 · answer #4 · answered by Atif Mirza 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good eye contact, very very forthright. Being friends is your goal. Ask him "are you open to having a female friend? I could enjoy....(going somewhere or doing something specific!) with you, but i'm not sure if your life is already full."
This shows your goal. Plain speaking is the absolute best when people of opposite sex are trying to be "friends." Leave no room for uncertainty. IF it is too hard for him to tolerate, he will say so and leave your life. IF he expresses love hopes, let him, and give him warning that you don't expect that to happen.
2007-01-27 23:08:40 · answer #5 · answered by littleone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to let him down without hurting his feelings much is to just tell him. No matter what you do he is going to be hurt by any form of rejection. You have to both be honest with each other to ever know how you truly feel.
2007-01-27 23:03:46 · answer #6 · answered by Ricki V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, to be honest, it's never easy for anyone to hear that. What you could do is let him know how much you missed his company as a friend. Funny convos? fun times hanging out? etc etc. Let him know you value his friendship and would like to chill together again like good old times. Hope that helps. Take care.
2007-01-27 23:05:12 · answer #7 · answered by Dominic John 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in this situation I just slowly acted differently like we havent talked as much anymore since he got a gf but i think you should just say somthing like your my bff or somthing sorry for the korny advice
2007-01-27 23:02:20 · answer #8 · answered by chauntel c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had 2 tell my best friend that last year. if you don't want 2 hurt him then say "i really like you but i think it would be better if we were just friends" or something along those lines. but make sure you mean it before you say it. you never know you might end up wishing you had given it a chance.
2007-01-27 23:05:42 · answer #9 · answered by the idiot down the road 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you want to be friends again, cause you miss him as your best friend. Leave out the part of only friends business. He'll catch the drift, without you having to say it outright. He might not respond though, because he might find being only friends with you is incredibly painful to him.
2007-01-27 23:05:50 · answer #10 · answered by redangus22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋