I am married man wid 2 kids for 14 years. I hve not shared gud chemistry wid wife so far, and now repent that i have erred. Now i feel life is empty and a lot of time ahead. Kids are also an issue. The wife does not fit in to my growing emotional and social needs, and also not able to provide enough support.
I want to start afresh wid somebody whom i share gud chemistry and with whom i can enjoy my life. What I should do. Either continue the current relationship and grudge or be selfish....means move out of lull relationship.
2007-01-27 14:41:01 · 23 answers · asked by dude_de_cool 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If u dont share gud chemistry n not enjoying yr life, move out. Take care of kids and provide financial support to estranged wife. U have full right to live the life the way u want and be contented from the replationship.
2007-01-27 14:44:56 · answer #1 · answered by jitedixi2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you already know the answer to this question. Do you already have a relationship with someone who better fits your growing emotional and social needs? Only you are married and cannot go anywhere in public.
Be a man and let your wife off the hook chances are she is just as miserable as you are or doesn't see the disfunction yet but still she deserves your loyalty in telling her the truth about the way you feel or no longer feel about her, she stayed by your side for 14 years I think she deserves to hear the truth from you.
2007-01-27 14:48:44 · answer #2 · answered by Neptune2bsure 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one mentioned marriage counseling yet, but I think you owe it to your family as well as yourself to try that first. It just amazes me how people get married and then say they've run out of steam after a few years. I say, Grow UP!!, and honor your vows, you have two children that call you father. Chemistry can wear off over time if you don't stoke the fires. You're willing to leave a 14 year relationship and mess up your kids to start a "fresh" life>>? I think you are terribly selfish right now.
2007-01-27 15:02:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I always hate to see marriages end, especially when children are involved. Has there NEVER been any chemistry involved? Surely there was at one time or you two would not have married to begin with. (I am not fussing at you, just trying to understand) I have found that marriage, for myself, is a job you MUST work at 24-7-365. Let's just say that you do get a divorce, then what? The same ole' stuff will happen, reqardless of who you are with, life gets a little boring and then we become discontented. And again, we are on the roller coaster ride of unhappiness. I have finally realized that marriage is whatever you make it. Believe you me, I have also been through some hard times and finally decided to do everything in my power to help my marriage work for the best for both of us. Do you guys talk??? I mean, really talk, not just hello, what's up, etc. What do you mean about social needs? Are you in the midst of climbing some sort of social ladder? Have you thought about having to share your kiddos with another man??? Yea, if you divorce, she will move on just like you do. Have you tried marriage counseling? My husband and I went through counseling and it did not work immediately, but what we learned through counseling did help eventually. We were both pretty stubborn and did not want to accept th responsiblity for the crisis in our marriage. We are MUCH better now, and we have also been married almost 14 years and have two little ones. I know now that marriage is a commitment, but one worth working on not only today or this month, but forever. I want to have a home my children and their families want to visit on holidays, etc. It would be sad if my husband and I split and had to share the children and their time. I know how you are feeling right now, you'd probably like to jump on a motor cycle and ride out into the clear blue yonder but your marriage is worth salvaging. I will pray for you and your wife. Good luck!
2007-01-27 15:02:53 · answer #4 · answered by zita 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's along time of not good Chemistry. 14 years. Have you made attempts to have GOOD CHEMISTRY. You sound spiteful. Why do you continue to GRUDGE? What do you mean she doesn't provide enough support? and your SOCIAL LIFE? your wife and kids are your SOCIAL LIFE.
Your not helping the relationship at all. It seems you are part of the problem as well. When you love someone. You make the EFFORT, have you gone to her and talked to her or are you here trying to get as many people to take your side? It seems to me. Your being stubborn. My guess is you haven't even tried talking to her. Try a marriage counselor to get over your SELFISH STUBBORN BEHAVIOR when your married it's not always about YOU and your CHEMISTRY.
2007-01-27 14:59:35 · answer #5 · answered by SecretFriend 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do what you really want. If the marriage is unbearable for you, you might go for divorce. You can fulfill your obligations to your wife and children by paying alimony for their maintenance after divorce. But before divorcing, make sure that you have no bonds with your wife or kids. That there is no reason to continue with the marriage. Don't decide in haste to repent later. You are not guaranteed perfect chemistry in your second marriage either, even if things look rosy now.
2007-01-28 03:31:46 · answer #6 · answered by Modest 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you look back at your childhood you may feel that you had a empty childhood for not having good toys or not lived the way it ought to have been spent. Fun and Frolic etc. You have grown up and even best of the toys will not interest you. For that matter you would look for respectable enjoyment now. If chemistry is what matters grow up. You have given birth to kids what better chemistry of nature you are aspiring. Love yourself first, your wife and children spiritually it will solve your problem.
2007-01-27 15:11:19 · answer #7 · answered by manjunath s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek help and counseling for you and for your marriage. Why did you marry her if you did not love her and there was no chemistry in the first place.... You really need to be honest with your wife and tell her how you are feeling and that you want out of this marriage... You also need to tell her that you have cheated on her too... I feel that she deserves the truth and for you to let her go if you do not want this marriage or to work on it and that way she can move on with her life and find a man that will love her for her... Basically i feel she can do better then you!
2007-01-27 15:02:36 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well you have given your answer by your own. Seems like you're having the good chemistry with someone.. Think about your kids too.. I agree with you but what is the fault of those kids... I know its hard to do it practically. Try to save your marriage..but still if you think that you cannot continue..then do one thing consult a lawyer and take the divorse quietly. After that "motion period" will be given by court. After that you can continue with someone else.
But think twice as you're having two kids.
2007-01-27 20:36:58 · answer #9 · answered by Sumit M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't share good chemistry with her then why did you indulge in biology with her???? You should have refused to marry her or taken divorce long before giving her 2kids & waiting for 14 years to say that your chemistry is not good with her. Now you think you will get another lady who will be having good chemistry with you but if that new lady start asking the same about you in this forum that you are not upto her chemistry then where will you go??? To the same old one about whom you are saying all this!!!!!
2007-01-27 22:06:53 · answer #10 · answered by bisexualmale s 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋