2007-01-27 14:07:13 · 8 answers · asked by carefree 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
a new baby, and now he is hitting, has broken, the girlfriends noise. I live out of the country and even when I saw him at Christmas time, he denies they is any problem... and I can't help... I don't know what I would do if he went to jail... and even worse he watched his father do this to me for years... and hated him for it.
2007-01-27 14:16:29 · update #1
Your question overran the space, but an only son with a drug problem is rough. Love him, encourage him toward recovery and DO NOT GIVE HIM MONEY. If he has a new baby, help with time and things like diapers and formula...things only a baby can use. You can even cook for him and give him clothing, but be assured that actual money will only go into the veins or nose or down the throat. Don't play into aiding the addiction.
2007-01-27 14:17:12 · answer #1 · answered by teetzijo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My daughter (21) should be in college (earned a scholarship) but instead she is in a state of serious inertia caused by sweet old maryjane...old theory is to let them hit bottom...the only time you can help, but I can't do that, and do they "hit bottom" on mj? So, I just got a book, "No More Letting Go: The Spirituality of Taking Action Against Alcoholism and Drug Addiction" by Debra Jay. I'll let you know.
Meanwhile, what I do know is that you have to be careful not to create more negativity in the situation. Create wholesome positive situations that the person can't get out of so easily. Don't let the little details become the big issues. I know her symptoms and she doesn't even know (or want to know) she is ill. If she had a mental illnes, would I leave her floundering? I have to train her without false praise and with natural consequences, but she is in my home and my world so I have to help as much as I can. I am not "codependent" I am conspirator, working from the underground to make her life keep reaching toward the positive. A little pressure here, a little support there, and never giving up. It's a job called "parent."
2007-01-27 14:27:57 · answer #2 · answered by ladystardonna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how is your relationship with your son? you have to let him know that you love him and make sure not to scold hardly. that upsets them more and they turn around and do it again.. its best to stress concern, be stern but not overbearing, listen to his reasons, maybe he was pressured, maybe he thinks he looks cooler, he may tell you it makes him feel good, and it may be true, but drugs are dangerous, and he needs to know exactly what it does to his body and mind. youve got to make him understand that it is only going to ruin him and he will never get a good job and wont be able to support himself, and let him know you wont be able to take care of him forever. spend time with him, find out what kind of friends he hangs out with,that may be his influence, look at the neighborhood you live in, if its a common thing there, moving might be another option to take. , check with his teachers if he's been skipping school or dropping grades. if he's still young rehab is a good option. it does help, but he will be reluctant to going. i know people who have been through the process and they have come out clean. start now, dont wait because the longer you wait, the harder and more distant he will be. good luck with this mission.. its gunna be a tough trip but its the only way you can break those bad habits.
best wishes..
2007-01-27 14:23:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you, dear.
Try to babysit the new baby as much as possible to keep it out of that home environment.
When someone gets deeply involved with drugs, it's like death. There is not much you can do. It will all be up to him to change his ways. And his girlfriend will just have to decide for herself if she is going to allow him to treat her that way.
I am sorry for your troubles. I know it's heartbreaking.
2007-01-27 14:21:27 · answer #4 · answered by martinmagini 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to be supportive to him.sometimes tough love is so easy to believe that will make him stop.get him in counseling they will decide if he needs to be hospitalized.I'm so sorry you have to bare this. prayer works! this is a illness that will take sometime to go away only with help!
2007-01-27 14:22:38 · answer #5 · answered by sorrydontknowyou 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
live and let live. hope for the best. set an example buy your own deeds.
2007-01-27 14:14:45 · answer #6 · answered by durkseekstheworld 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, I think you need to add more details to your question!
2007-01-27 14:13:18 · answer #7 · answered by WomanWhoReads 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
??? @ new ba????
2007-01-27 14:14:47 · answer #8 · answered by black7_revolution 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋