Why can't I have a love like I've always dreamed about?

Question

Before I get the answers love is not always a cup of roses(none of which I ever have received in the five years with my boyfriend or any flower at that matter) and yes I realize ups and downs and disagreements, but I always dreamed growing up I would find someone that loved me as much as I loved him and would be my Knight in shining armour (ok now you can go throw up), and I am not high maintenance at all except maybe a little emotionally. One of my co-workers is disgusting (though happy for her) listening to her and her boyfriend talk, how happy they sound when they talk. I am considered attractive(or is what I am told and get many compliments) I am a nice girl and don't ask for much, just love is what I want, I'm not materialistic. So why can't I have something like a wonderful, beautiful love in my life???

Well piepiepie, it is mostly, respect, love, admiration for one another, integrity in the relationship, yes some romance, and a best friend, someone I can share everything with from conversations to having fun together that I'm seeking more than just receiving "flowers" but thanks for the pessimistic thought, maybe the dying flowers were for your dying personality.

Also I am going to be 31 in May

Answer 1

give it time, and dont rush, you will find it.

Answer 2

You get lots of compliments, somebody loves you, but you aren't satisfiled with it. Awe shucks, your life must really suck.

The thing that sucks most about your life is that all the planets and the Universe don't revolve around it, I bet?

C'mon already. There's a lot to be grateful for in all our lives. Just be glad you aren't a cab driver in Bhagdad right now for starters.

Goodness. I hope you don't lose what you have only to find it was all you ever really needed.

And as for your relationship, is there enough oxygen in there for you, your ego and somebody else? Respect is nice--you and your partner earn that. Integrity is important, but don't sweat the small stuff--it's core character stuff that's important.

Compliments every now and then are good, a little romance is good, intimancy is good, but you gotta work at that stuff too. And--from my own experience--you have to have the guts to come straight out and ask for it at some point in a relationship.

In short, you may be part of your own problem.

Answer 3

Concentrate on yourself and being a good person. No one who is really confident will be at work bragging about their relationship going ons.
Stop looking at other peoples relationship and start with some positive affirmation for your self as you already describe yourself. Those men who pass you up are missing out.
Donate your time to help those unfortunate or visit nursing homes and hospitals and check up on the elderly who do not have anyone or children who do not have anyone. This does wonders for the soul!
You may even meet a nice doctor, or therapist who wonder who the kind hearted lady is that visits the elderly and young children who do not have support form family.

Answer 4

It sounds like you have dreamed up an unrealistic romantic fantasy, and you're waiting for it to come true. Real life isn't like that, or not for long anyway. My first husband loved me completely, but I was still unhappy with my life from time to time. Just the fact that you say "like I've always dreamed about" indicates you're expecting a dream to become real. It CAN be wonderful, but stop looking for the dream and set your sights on something a little more earthly and realistic! But remember - by that, I do NOT mean to SETTLE for less than you deserve. You'll know if he loves you. Or if he doesn't.

Answer 5

You have to kiss a lot of toads before you will find your prince charming. Be patient......he is out there. Don't "settle" for someone that you are not happy with. Evidently you have some pretty high expectations, so this may require more time to find the perfect match for yourself.

Answer 6

Love in our dreams tends to be anticeptic. There are no pressures, no struggles etc. Just pure romance.... and real life isn't like that. We struggle to understand each other. We struggle with bills and job pressures. And then we struggle with the pressures of raising kids.

It's just plain hard.

Knights in shining armor....can get rusty. You have to decide what's really important in a relationship...then go for it.

Answer 7

Love and romance are two entirely different things. Many people have a warped chick-flick veiw of each and this is probably your problem. You also sound young or at least immature.

I didn't even like the one time my lover gave me flowers. I said to him, "thanks for the dead flowers, what is that supposed to signify?" But, kissed him anyways and told him never to do such a thing again because dying flowers made me sad and they do.

Answer 8

Love is an action verb. It requires work and sacrifice. If love was that easy, there would be no divorce and no one would be shacking up together.
Love isn't meant to be easy without giving up something in your life.

Answer 9

When you say "you don't ask for much just love" that's part of the problem, you bet your *** love is alot to ask for ,at least the kind of love you want, but don't make excuses it is alot but you are worth it and deserve it and you gotta believe in order to get it.

Answer 10

i wish i could tell you . but if you find out how to make it happen drop me a line. im sick of women treating me like a sex toy or a trophy. i can see it in thier eyes when i meet them too. all the want its to touch my beep and show me off like they won me at the carnival. i have feelings to ya know. and do i not bleed the same crimson blood. so friend its not just on your side its also on my side of the fence too.

Answer 11

Because you're living in a fantasy. Nothing is ever as good as it is in our dreams. Those two in your office just make me want to gag!