i know that he married me however i see myself in her shadow. my husband is great and does not ever place me there but i just can't seem to feel that he loves me now and nor longer her. help! this is hurting my mariage.
2007-01-27 13:55:26 · 14 answers · asked by dolly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Aw Hun, rememeber this, he chose YOU, he married YOU, Im sure if he loved her at all, he wouldnt have married you.
She is his EX for a reason..Ok...he would have married her if he loved her and wanted to be with her.
He chose you...Relax, enjoy your marriage, you say he is a great guy, so that must mean he is very happy with you..Let him continue to be happy with you...
He probably Never ever, even thinks of his ex, unless you bring her up...Have ya thought about that? Dont bring her up and remind him of her...
You are his wife, let him know how much you love him everyday..let the ex go...Im sure the ex, has let him go, and she has gone on with her life...
You have a great man, and those are so rare these days...Please dont let this little fear ruin your marriage...
Sounds like you have some low self esteem...that is nothing to be embarresed of...try to do things to build yourself back up..talk to your husband about your esteem, maybe he can help..But try not to bring up his ex anymore, this will only push him away...
I wish you luck, and just remember he is YOUR husband, and he chose YOU
2007-01-27 14:25:07 · answer #1 · answered by ~Annette~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That fact that he doesn't want to talk about her doesn't mean that he still has feelings for her he probably got hurt by her and there is something there that you don't know and shouldn't know. We all have a past you just have to get over his. You say that talking to him is not an option but it is probably the biggest option you have because he loves you and i'm sure he doesn't want to deal with you obsessive, jealousy, insecurities. Realize that she is not in your lives no more she's somewhere in Australia with her boyfriend. The fact that your husband Google her might just mean that he wants to know how she's doing. I'm sure he still cares about her as a friend I know I still care about a few of my ex's and i still look them up to see how they're doing. Just get over it.
2016-03-29 05:43:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have walked in your shoes before. Try to love her, I really mean it. Close your eyes before going to sleep and tell her in you mind that you wish her well.
Forget about it after that. Jealousy is hurting yourself and hating someone else. You have to cut it out clearly. Feel attractive enough and don't think she was a super special woman. Besides, you are spending time with him for the rest of your life, having him comited to you.
Maybe also you can clear his mind making him a psychology article based on how some men idealize women that they are not involved with, etc. Then you will feel more calm.
2007-01-27 14:11:15 · answer #3 · answered by Clara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you constantly think of her? Why do not feel his love? Does he not say it. Do you not see it in his actions? Do you both speak of her? It sounds like you need to develop some self confidence if you continue to act this way you are going to literally turn off your husband as you will appear too needy and under confident. Stop obsessing about her and learn more about you, is there something you have always wanted to learn how to do. You are too much "you" focused. There are so many things to obsess about besides another woman. Why cannot you feel important enough to him and to yourself.
2007-01-27 14:14:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This really has nothing to do with him or her at all, it has everything to do with how you feel about you!! You have to confornt your own insecurties!! You have to get over what it is that makes you feel the way you feel!! You need to understand that he loves you, he married you and don't let the shadow of a ex-girlfriend have you crazy!! If your husband is not doing anythong that will make you feel inferior you need to really get a handle on this but don't make this about him!! Its not you have to deal with this and contiune to love and care for your husband!! You need to enjoy your marriage!! Don't have an regrets about anytime spend with him!! Men are different from women!! They truly like to be taken at face value. Women we are always beind deep and saying one thing and meaning another thing!! Men are pretty surface!! You have to beleive he loves you until his actions say otherwise and you need to remind yourself of the love he has for you!! You need to work on what ever thats lowering your self esteem and move on to loving yourself because its not a competiton!! He loves you and you were not a cancellation prize!! You are his wife!!
2007-01-27 14:09:02 · answer #5 · answered by sexychocolatecity21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar problem only it wasn't with just one other woman. My husband of 11 years left me for someone else. All along I sensed he was seeing other women but I kept quiet thinking I was obsessing and paranoid. Well, my intuition was right on. He had been lying and cheating for a long time with who knows how many women, my intuition was screaming alarms and I was ignoring it. You may be right, men can lie easily. (ok guys, so can women) Best wishes to ya.
2007-01-27 15:49:43 · answer #6 · answered by garden witch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's insane especially since you said that there's nothing your husband is doing to allow for you to feel that way. You clearly have self esteem and insecurity issues. Perhaps, you should get yourself a good therapist before you turn into a real wack job.
2007-01-27 14:03:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have very low self-esteem. You are married to him, sure he dated someone else in the past, but he found you! He wants to be with you. You need to wake up and realize this or you are going to doom your own marriage. Sounds like YOU are dwelling on his past----not him! He has let the past go.....you need to commit to him and your happiness and future together. Stop being so insecure.
2007-01-27 14:09:01 · answer #8 · answered by HowdyThere 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Problem is with you and you have to seek help even from your firends or others cause this may eventually cause problems to arise
2007-01-27 14:08:16 · answer #9 · answered by likeskansas 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up and move on. You are going to ruin your marriage, if you don't. Get over your insecurities before you lose him.
2007-01-27 14:02:15 · answer #10 · answered by mamabear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋