Wouldn't it be great if the President made the following speech?

Question

This is REALLY long
My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete. This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning. Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The UK, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are the countries listed there. The other list contains everyone not on the 1st list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening. Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France. In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help,comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed.

I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing
something with your oil. Oh, by the way, the US is abrogating the NAFTA treaty-starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska-which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come.

If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care. It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin." Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in
America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought: Thanks guys. We owe you BIG time. To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic. God bless America. Thank you and good night.

This would create an uproar among Demoncrats, but hey, they had it comin'!

To answer paulisfree2004's answer: yes, I did receive this in an email. Sorry I forgot to mention it. Thanks for pointing that out.

Answer 1

This speach would mean that the lives spent in the name of winning have now been spent for no reason at all. It means the blood shed by our troops was for no reason. It means the time, effort, and stress put into this war has produced nothing. It means that Iraq is now fighting off terrorist cells they can not control alone, and that the government we tried to implement will be gone in a matter of years if not months.

Answer 2

People like you scare me. First off, I'm Canadian and why don't you guys not piss us off for a change. I don't care if you are the "High and Mighty" United States, come against us and the entire world will be down your throats so fast you will still be wondering what happened three years down the road. And why should we be sorry for not supporting a trumped up excuse of a war, for not getting our citizens killed because your President wants to feel important? Last time I checked we were our own country and not the 51st state. Other countries have the right to make their own decisions and if Americans can't handle that then thank your lucky stars you live in the states. I know I'm happy you do.....

Answer 3

The flaw in your speech is it doesn't answer to the people who are trying to take over the planet!
The New World Order!
If you think I am being paranoid you must not recall GHW Bush using that exact same phrase in a speech to the American people!
In it he called for a New World Order!
I still remember exactly how I felt on that day! Scared!
The current administration .....in fact since the early 80's have been trying to get the United States to comply to ruling the world.
They don't just want America unto itself! They want it all!

Answer 4

Great speech why don't you run against Hillary ?
You will have more chance of delivering not only the speech but the items contained than the current idiot.

Answer 5

Here's my rebuttal speech:

My fellow Americans, as it has been proven tonight, our President doesn't care about the good of this great nation, and now poses a dangerous threat to this nation and the whole planet. As of right now, my fellow members of Congress, Democrats and Republicans, are working a resolution to impeach our "President" in a speedy and swift trial to insure the safety of world peace.

Answer 6

I LOVE IT! But if he gave that speech, I would be confused and wondering what happened to the real Bush. Did the aliens kidnap him and replace him? Or did he jump in bed and bump his head?

Answer 7

that was an email fwd wasnt it? It would be good yes but way too long for most I saw this 2 months ago

Answer 8

I LOVE THIS! This would be a speech I would actually listen to, instead of turning the channel as quickly as possible. I totally agree with you, hooray! Someone who finally feels the way I do!

Answer 9

I don't know if I would characterize SPAIN as standing by us.

Slovakia, yes.

I'm all for stopping foreign aid to the very trendy anti-American world.

Samina: I'm shakin' in my boots. ;o)

Answer 10

I do hope you feel better now that you have got that off your chest.