why is my mother adding to my college and career stress ?

Question

What should I do about my mother she tries to help but can be clueless at times. I’ve asked for her help in finding a college in Georgia with a graphic design program and she continuously tells me she can’t find any. Even though I know, there are multiple schools that offer degree programs. I am just wondering is she trying to sabotage me? By keeping me from going to school in athens or atlanta.

Answer 1

I doubt she is trying to sabotage you. Maybe you are trying to sabotage yourself. If you already know there are so many colleges in Georgia with the curriculum you are seeking, why add the stress to your Mom's life by making her do the search. Why don't you find a school on your own? Why is it up to your Mother? Come up with your own game plan, or several, and then present them to her rather than her having to come up with a game plan for you.

Answer 2

In the end, you need to depend on yourself, because your loved ones may not be able to give what you need for help and support. They may be trying to sabotage you, but you can only be sabotaged if you so choose.

Did your mother go to college? If not, then she probably has no idea what you are up against. Where do you live in relation to Athens or Atlanta GA? IMO, every kid needs to go at least 6 hours away from home for college. Six hours is close enough to go home when you really need to, but not so convenient that you will be tempted to go every weekend. And it's not so close that the folks are likely to drop in on you without notice; I’m more than 20 years removed from college, but I can assure you that you do not want your parents dropping in on you at college.

When I was ready to go to college, I went blind. My mother had an 8th grade education, and my father had a 10th grade education (but that didn't matter since he wasn't around). Today, as the youngest of five children, I'm the first (of two so far) who have earned bachelor's degrees. I'm the first and only to have a master's degree.

If you are a high school student, go to your guidance counselor with these questions - that’s what he’s getting paid for. If your high school guidance counselor gives no guidance, ask your local librarian for help. The librarian at your public library has many tools at her (or his) disposal that are very helpful for career exploration and picking a college.

This isn't your mom's future we're talking about, it's yours. You need to be your own best advocate. If you are a high school student, you are on the brink of adulthood. You need to inform yourself so that you can make good choices about your future. I went blind but you don’t have to.

I'm here to tell you that if I can do it, you can, too.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

Find the schools yourself. You can go to any library or check with your high school counselor to get this information. If you need your mother to do this for you, how will you cope with requirements on your own when you're at such a college? The real question is who is going to pay for the college tuition, room & board? Are you willing to save the money to pay it yourself or pay the extra cost if it's a private college or out of state tuition? Or take out the loans and repay? That may be the problem... Also, do you have high enough grades and test scores to get into such a program? I'm not trying to be critical; just things to think about...

Answer 4

Everything about college is very stressful---for the parents, too.

Get yourself organized, and take charge. There are some specific, detailed reference books which show, state by state, every college and university, and which outline what they offer. Look at the entire slate of options, to give yourself peace of mind. You have a state selected--Georgia.
You have a field-graphic design (which might be called commercial art, or some other term, as well)
Get to a large library reference room, and ask for their current reference volumes on U.S. colleges. (It might be more calming and quiet to see these in a reference book, rather than trying to find them all at once on the internet.) Look at Georgia---you might also have a map in front of you, to picture where the colleges or universities are, to get a complete picture in your mind.
The main thing is to do your research (a skill that is critical), and to take responsibility for your decisions. Until you research all your options yourself, you won't be secure enough to make a decision, or to make a prioritized list of what schools to apply to.

When you select these schools, look at their internet sites and get more details. Trust your instincts, AFTER you've looked at all your options, not BEFORE.
You should select your school---you will be going there.

Answer 5

if you are an only child, or the first one going, or the last, she may be very worried that she is going to lose her baby.

college creates a huge emotional tear in mother's hearts

it's empty-nest syndrome if you are the only or the last

she will be at home with no children and "nothing to do"

she is probably just scared she is going to lose you

sit down and talk to her about it, and tell her that you love her and will always be there


also, try fastweb.com to find the schools in the area with the programs you want!


goodluck

Answer 6

Maybe it's true she doesn't want you to leave. You might have to just do the research on your own.

Here, I'll be your mom. My son's name is Jonathan, too ...

http://www.uscollegesearch.org/georgia-graphic-design-colleges.html
http://www.allgraphicdesign.com/graphicdesignschools/collegesgeorgiaga.html
http://www.a2zcolleges.com/arts/Graphic_Design/ga.html

Hey, it's a start! Go for it, son!

Answer 7

I have been on my own for 18 years and my mother still tells me what to do.. I like 2 years of college to finish but I have to move away to do it.. She keeps finding every excuse in the world why I should not move..She wants me within driving distance of her.. Parents can't control u as much if u are "away".. my mom likes to pop in and bring me UNIMPORTANT stuff just to check my housekeeping skills.. U will not be able to please ur mom if it means moving away..

Answer 8

Well, why are you relying on HER to do this search?
If she isn't helping you, stop asking her for help and either do the search yourself or find someone qualified (ie a research librarian) to help you.