I divorced with my husband last year. I am now a graduate student. My two daughter are living with their fathers far away, because I can't afford two kids now, and if I take one I would defintely miss the other, I chose let them live with their father. I miss them every day, every moment. i wish one day I can find the one love me and I love him and set up my family, then take my kids back. But I can imagine how long it would take, My parents said that if I took the kids now, it would be very difficult to find a good man. These days I stayed in home all days surfing online because I am really drpressed. Others have happy family, big house and happy kids to live with, I don't have anything.... I even wanna die, but thinking my kids, I can't. What can I do, I think now I need love, need care and need the hope.
2007-01-27 12:44:17 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
1. there is much more to life than being married and having children with a 'complete' family
2. you are a graduate student...what more is there for you to focus on?
3. why are you listening to your parents and everyone else around you telling you that you a man in your life
4. you sound as if you need a man to complete you
5. what about what YOU want? why are you thinking about what everyone else has and trying to compare yourself to them? what do YOU want to do?
6. if you want to find the love of your life then you can start by loving yourself. cause right now (and i don't want to sound mean) but you sound desperate to get a man just so you can have that 'complete' family that you are comparing yourself to everyone else about.
7. forget what your parents are saying...we do not live back in the olden days where landing a man and haveing a husband with family is the be all and end all to everything.
8. you are an adult living your adult live...in graduate school. please focus on your schooling so you can land that job honey.
and once you land that job...start doing what YOU want to do and not what your parents want you to do. by doing things to please them (and everyone else)...you will NEVER be happy...because people pleasing is just so draining. you will forever be trying to please them. 'you need a man' 'you need this' 'you need that' just start living your life for you and let the chips fall where they may. yes your parents may be upset at your decision to start living your life for you (and doing what you want to do) but hey...they don't own your life. you do. you are an adult...no longer a child. live your life for you and be happy.
2007-01-27 14:30:23 · answer #1 · answered by cfalways 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I felt like hanging myself this evening because I am a newly single mother and its so overwhelming that I feel like there are no awnsers. Of course I am just being stubborn and stupid and would never hang myself. The only thing I can do is just live through this pain. I will have my daughter who is the light of my life and so what if i cant afford a place to live..ill leave the city...and so what if i go to school full time to get a better job its going to be like living in absolute poverty but for a good cause. The only thing I want to say about your parents telling you its hard to find a man if you have to kids is that I think that is rong and you are misguided. Not having your kids is probably going to put such a huge wedge between you that even when and if you find a good man your children might just want to stay where they are with their fathers..your going to miss watching yoru children grow up because you have basically abandoned them to pursue a career and a good man. I think thats your perogotive and please dont hang yourself over this but your distance from your kids is so hard on you that I would want them both back even though your going to be poor..so am I but I cannot fathom my life without my daughter.
2007-01-27 14:43:27 · answer #2 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May I ask why you feel like you need a man? I'm a single mother raising a 16-year-old son. There is no way in hell I'd let him live full time with his father, who makes about 5 times more money than I do. But you know what? Who cares about money? I mean, I can't afford kids either but I had one so I have to take that responsibility. I think as long as my bills are paid and current and my son's tummy is full and he has clothes on his back, I'm doing pretty good. Please concentrate on your daughters instead of finding a man. Those girls love you unconditionally.
PS: Isn't graduate school very, very expensive? Geez, I'd love to go back to college but I can't afford school AND a son. I chose my son and I'm going to wait until he graduates from high school before I go back to school. Guess your priorities and mine are just a little different.
2007-01-27 13:28:10 · answer #3 · answered by spelling nazi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need counseling and help here for the way you are feeling. You need to get back on your feet and get a full time job and save some money so that someday you can afford to get your kids back.... If you take your kids now it will not be hard to find a new guy.... To me if they are the right guy they will accept you with the kids as a packaged deal and they will not hold you having kids against you.... Do not let your parents tell you this anymore and get your kids back where they belong. You also need to get medical help and attention for your depression and you also need counseling too. Once you get your kids back and get your life back on track then and only then should you find men to start dating.
2007-01-27 12:59:12 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please take a deep breath and be happy you are alive and in school. I lost my wife to a car accident a few years ago and I believed that my live was not with living. We have 3 sons that were still young when their mother died. Sad and depressing? Very. Work on school and get your degrees, get you life settled and perhaps you will at least see your girls on some court mandated schedule. You are loved more than you know. Perhaps now, your girls are to young to understand what's going on in your life. Stay in touch with them, phone calls, e mail whatever. Don't forget their birthdays and other special days in their lives. IM me if you want to chat. Please hang in there life is and can be more beautiful. You will find some nice man out here that with love and respect you and take care of you, hold you and make you glad you are a woman.
2007-01-27 13:08:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hun, you sound so emo. bypass refer on your pals, pay interest to satisfied song! bypass pay interest to lights. The song very last component on your ideas is fairly good. :) Or the song February Air. do exactly not enable it get you down and do not forget that there are any such number of fantastic issues to go back!
2016-10-16 04:55:37 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to talk with a professional such as a psychologist or psychiatrist and get help about your feelings. You really need to talk with someone who knows how to help before you do something to hurt yourself.
2007-01-27 12:56:38 · answer #7 · answered by Kazooie350 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We all need to be loved, if you seek you shall find, this is what I did, I am divorced too....I talk to God all the time, and feel His presence, it's great, all you have to do is invite Jesus to come into your heart, and you will recieve so much love......He is love....God bless ya
2007-01-27 13:00:37 · answer #8 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Depression is a man-repellant.
2007-01-27 13:01:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you, dont give up hope. feel free to email me to talk.
2007-01-27 12:54:50 · answer #10 · answered by paul 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋