I have Aspergers Syndrome and my family doesn't understand me. I need some advice?

Question

I have Aspergers Syndrome and my family doesn't understand me. I need some advice?

So here are the details. I'm 16 and I have Aspergers Syndrome. For those who don't know, this syndrome is very very rare. It is almost a form of autism. Not exactly autism, but it is part of the Autistic Spectrum. It's a milder form.

The main thing about this Syndrome is that I can't have a social life. The symptoms are: anxiety, depression, lack of social skills, lack of social communication and obsessive behavior. I have all these symptoms and many more. The point is that I feel extremely anxious when I need to interact with people, I have no social skills and I can be obsessed with certain activities which makes me exclude all important things from my life. All these are symptoms I can't control so I see no point in being blamed for them.

The problem is that because of this syndrome I've been withdrawing from my social life more and more. I hate going to school and my parents don't understand this. They think I'm just misbehaving and that gets on my nerves.

-please see details-

So here's the real problem. After I found out I have it, I looked for information on the internet. I did a LOT of research and I translated a lot of the webpages in my language so that my parents could read them. (we're not English) They read them, but they had basically no reaction. My mom talked to me about it, but my dad stopped reading before he even reached the end of the articles and he went to sleep without another word.
I have been to psychologists before so I can't say that my parents don't take care of me. But while I was looking for info in the inernet, I found a lot of sites where parents gathered to talk to each other about their children who had Aspergers. I read their posts on the forums and the way they were talking just made me feel betrayed somehow. I mean those parents as soon as they found out that their kids were ill, they made a REAL FUSS about it.

They took their kids to doctors, they surfed the internet day and night, looking for information, trying to find out more and understand more, not to mention that they talked to their kids to understand them. In my case, I'm the one who has to insist so that my parents can accept to read the pages I MYSELF have bothered to translate. I'm the one who looks for info, researches, and has to try to convince them to WANT to understand it. I'm the one who has to initiate everything.

Everytime I try to talk to them about it, especially my dad they try to avoid it. I know they care, but I just don't undersatand them.

The real reason for this question is to see if I'm right or wrong. Do you think my parents are wrong, do you think I shouldn't be judging them?

Answer 1

My son has Aspergers and knows he has it. At first he thought it meant that his brain was malfunctioning. I explained to him that it's just a different way of looking at the world and it's not wrong or crippling. At one point he tried claiming he was "handicapped" to get out of something but I didn't buy into it and we both laughed about his attempt at using it that way. Instead of thinking about Aspergers as a "disease" I think maybe people should consider the fact that people with it are able to focus on a task much better than non-Asperger people. It is just a tadeoff, you are a little less socializing in exchange for the ability to have intense concentration on one subject.

Answer 2

Hi. I just thought I would answer your question as I have read a book called "The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night Time" and it's a fictional novel about a boy who has Asperger's Syndrome. I don't know if this has much to do with you but I thought maybe you could understand and relate to some of it? As for your parents, I hope they will understand you in time becuase that's what they are supposed to do, and I'm sorry I can't be of more help. Good Luck.

Answer 3

I am so sorry to hear this. You must be really frustraited and feel very alone. I think that your parents are in denial about the situation. They are probably hoping that it will go away or you will somehow grow out of it. You need to get help on your own if they are not willing to help you. I am sure that you can find some resources in your area and support groups for this. Hang in there you are not alone. I have a friend that has a child that has this and she is so much better now that she is on medication. Maybe a Dr. can help you. Dont give up and stay strong, good luck.

Answer 4

If your parents are not very well educated, they just might not understand enough about what they can do. It might help if you, yourself, had a talk with your doctor and ask him or her to have a talk with your parents and maybe make them understand more fully about what they can do, as parents, to help you more. If they are not capable of doing anything, again talk to your doctor and find out what you can do for yourself.

Answer 5

I didn't know about Asperger's Syndrome just until now...whoa. Sorry about that...do your parents actually care about you anymore? I don't know. Maybe they should actually help you with your condition. Maybe your just judging them and they won't help you. I mean I'd help you with you have if I could.

Answer 6

Duh, they should be helping you all the way on this. They need to pay attention to your needs now. You also need to work on this. I knew someone with a similar disorder, and while he could never totally overcome it, he overpowered it just enough to have friends and do other things. Perhaps if your family sees you trying to improve, they'll get off their own asses and help.