My marriage is in serious trouble and we have the name of a counsillor who counsils both parties together and is intereseted in making our relationship work....I am just nervous cause I don't know what to expect....for sure it wont do more harm than good?
Please help me if you have been in this situation and have gone through counsil....
2007-01-27 12:11:39 · 12 answers · asked by Carrot girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I definately would like to say that if you are having difficulties in your marriage and want to save your marriage, you two are doing the right thing. Keep in mind that when talking to a conuselor about your problems that you both need to be open and honest about the issues that you have with one another or it will not work, therefore it will be a waist of time to all of you. Also make sure it's with a neutral party, someone that has nothing to lose nor gain. The best solution and divine intervention that I can tell you to talk to about this because he sees and knows all anyways cause he made us is Jesus himself. God says for us to cast our burdens unto him and he will give us rest. God also says the only way to divorce another is through unfaithfulness. If adultery has occurred, yes divorce is the only option you have with the exception that you cannot remarry according to scripture. Please God loves you both and doesn't want to see any of his children unhappy, please find a way to make this marriage work. God Bless!!!
2007-01-27 12:23:46 · answer #1 · answered by chris a 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
each counselor is different. I always suggest that people should make the first session about meeting the person and determine if there is a meshing of philosophies... if you get a very conservative christian councilor and let's say you are more of an independent, secular woman, this will never work. So, go, see what that person has to offer. If you all are dissatisfied and find that things are getting worse or not progressing, then try another until you find a match for your style. Just remember it probably took you all a while to get where you all are at, and it will take a while to get back on a good path, if you both want to fight for it. The work is what makes the rewards sweeter at the end of the journey.
Blessings- dd
2007-01-27 20:28:28 · answer #2 · answered by dedum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, my first marriage failed because of the counseling. I could have done better at saving my marriage using the same $'s but buying her jewelry! But, since it's all scheduled I will give you the one bit of advice that helped me when going through the divorce with the ordered family counseling. Tell the counselor before you start that you want a few simple ground rules! Mainly that there is no name calling. It's childish and sends the session spiraling into destruction. Plus if your spouse is as immature as mine they won't be able to abide by them and this gives you the upper hand not only on your spouse but also the councilor when you point your finger at him/her and say can't you control this session, we set up ground rules and you just sit there! I'm leaving if you can't even control your own session! Secondly that no nonfactual or unprovable accusations will be given. Immature people can't handle this either.
I left the session with the apology of the councilor that he couldn't control the communication better. Maybe this is why I got custody of the kids?
2007-01-27 20:28:28 · answer #3 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No need to be nervous. The counselor will not take sides or tell either one of you who is wright or wrong. They will help you to communicate better. Allot of times when we argue with someone it is not about "leaving the cap off the toothpaste" but another issue like respect or feeling like being taken for granted. Take it from me I know quite a few people who after leaving a session say they'll feel like 15 pounds has been lifted off their shoulders.
2007-02-01 10:56:46 · answer #4 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
God is also a counselor, as a matte of fact He is the Counselor. He knows whats going on in your life better than anyone and best of all He won't spread your business. Both you and your get on your knees and pray together and ask the Lord what y'all should do. Ask Him to guide you, He will never lead you astray. I know from personal experiences.
2007-01-27 20:25:13 · answer #5 · answered by wisdom_women 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I beleive in destiny but I still think you have to fight to save your marriage. Especially if you have children.
This ebook is a good resource to understand causes of your marital issues and to learn some important tips --> http://savemarriage.toptips.org
2014-09-28 00:05:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nevermind if the counselors want your marriage to work. do YOU want your marriage to work? and as importantly...does your husband want your marriage to work? if so then both of you seek counseling. i would say together and separately. because you two must have things to work on as a couple and as individuals. but if one of you does not want this relationship to no longer continue then you must have separate places to live and start from there.
2007-01-27 20:26:54 · answer #7 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest and willing to work it out and committed to each other!
Tow different people, two different personalities, two different belief system, but united love story.
Write it and tell it to the great grand children!
2007-01-31 21:34:22 · answer #8 · answered by Arene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to save your marriage, go into this with a open mind. This will help you one way or another.
2007-01-27 21:07:19 · answer #9 · answered by Lorayne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no one can tell you guys what to do and think. it has to come from within yourselves. just set down and agree to record this conversation and talk about you feellings or whats bothering you, then listen to it alone apeice and write down what you think and how you think you can solve your part in the problem. if you cant talk with out getting mad real mad then there is one of you who isnt into the marrigage any more and might be wanting out for some reason. i hope not, hope you can solve this.
2007-01-27 20:19:32 · answer #10 · answered by crystal b 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋