Please, no judgement. I am the other woman living with the man who destroyed my own marriage. We have been on and off for 2 years and he allowed me to move in with him while I look for a job. He has been trying to work things out with his wife by spending the night with her and making her think I'm out of his life.
He told me yesterday that she asked to come by the apartment because she thinks I am here. After a long discussion, he told me that I should at least park my car away from the place. Then he said "I'm not telling you to leave." He says he's not sure what he wants.
He went to his house this weekend because his wife is out of town. He said he would stop by yesterday or today, but he hasn't. She gets back into town tomorrow. Should I just leave now without talking to him? I don't have a lot of money and leaving would take every cent I have.
2007-01-27 12:01:04 · 28 answers · asked by torn 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think maybe you should leave, it Will be hard and you'll want to go back, but for once, you should have the upper hand and stand one your own, try being independent for awhile and figure out what you really want. work hard and get some of your own money and a job you can be proud of. You need to become your own person again, not the other woman. Don't define yourself that way. He obviously loves you less then his wife, and having been in a similar situation , although neither of us were married, trust me it will never change, he'll always wonder if she would take him back. Be strong and pick your head up, pack your bags and move forward, not backward
2007-01-27 12:22:56 · answer #1 · answered by Katie L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like u have a bad situation, i am sorry for u having to go through this. I dont know, but i am guessing he didnt intend for your marriage to end. It sounds like he wants to be with his wife and if it doesn't work out then he will be with u. Ouch, i know that hurts. If you have no other choice but to stay there for financial reason then i guess u have to do what u have to do to survive. If it were me I would RUN and never look back. Even if this man stays with u and not his wife how are you ever going to live in peace not wondering if there is another woman? However this is your choice but it sounds like your gut instinct is telling to leave. Most of the time our gut instincts are on key. If you do leave I would be woman enough to tell his wife what has been going on, I would tell her about him "hiding" you and everything, not to "get even" but b/c she may not know and not want to live with someone like that. If your not going to be with him, i would do her a favor and let her know what she is dealing with. Whatever u do, I hope the best for you.
2007-01-27 14:02:56 · answer #2 · answered by cueteclady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really matters very little. He is scum, and so are you, so what you do is gonna be lousy and wrong. Your situation is hopeless. You will probably stay, and let his wife catch you and Mr. Sperm playing house- after he has told her you are out of the picture. Just maybe, she will learn, and forget about the cheating dog she married. Then, you two can live happily in your very own kennel. At least, until one of you sniffs a new dog in the neighborhood. By the way, he didn't destroy your marriage. YOU did that by playing games with Prince Spermy.
2007-01-27 12:34:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man he's got you hypnotized, or you're the stupidest lay he's ever stumbled on.
No one is really this dense, are they? Are you typing this from the State School and Hospital?
His complete lack of respect for women has influenced you.
"Park away? F*ck that! I'll park right here and be standing here to greet her when she shows up, motherf*cker! We're going to get things out in the open!"
You're better off sleeping in your car and having a shred of dignity left than staying with that raging selfish spineless
a s s h o l e. He can't stand up to you or his wife - he has no backbone and can't confront issues. What a
candy a s s e d baby.
You are being used. END IT NOW.
2007-01-27 15:39:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a woman is priceless. Being a woman who accepts little for her life gets little in return. Sweetie, you need to let him go. He will not leave his wife especially if you both continue allow him to keep doing what he's doing. Love hurts and it will take a while to get over it but you have to leave even if it takes every cent you have. Expect more for yourself. God Bless You!
2007-01-27 12:40:29 · answer #5 · answered by wisdom_women 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could be very wrong, but I think he's lying to you. If you really are strapped for cash, and it's his place, make sure you have everything of yours, and anything you think you might be entitled to, (you mentioned something about the last two years....) out of his place before he asks you to leave, and changes the locks.... There is an old saying..."Possession is 90% of the law". There's also another old saying... "90% of men that leave their wives for another women go back to their wives...") Better luck next time...
2007-01-27 12:12:07 · answer #6 · answered by mld m 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, you should run (not walk) away from this situation and count yourself lucky. If he cheated with you on his wife, what makes you think he won't cheat on you? What makes you think he's isn't doing that now?
You mentioned that "he says he's not sure what he wants." Is he the only one who gets to make choices here?
Even if it takes every cent you have and then some, get out. You deserve better.
2007-01-27 12:07:26 · answer #7 · answered by Juanitamarie 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave and get out now..... He is going to do this to other women just like he has done to you and your first marriage... He sounds like scum... You will be better to leave and to stay with family or a friend for now till you can save some money and get a place of your own.
2007-01-27 12:08:53 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have been with this man for 2 years? I think he has time enough to decide who he wants, and if not, well maybe he should leave and think on his own.Why should you go out of your way to make things easy for him? Why did he go to her house if she was out of town? I would find a friend that I could stay with, or if you can afford to stay where you are, tell him to leave, he cant have you both. You sound like your too god for him. I wouldn't go on like this. I wish you luck!
2007-01-27 12:14:11 · answer #9 · answered by mybudnoobs 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
is there any way u can undo any of this, and go back to your husband. how terrible that he got u to end your marriage and all he wants to do is go back with his wife. he should be helping u out financially during this time, it is so sad that he gets to go back into the marriage, leaving u to fend for yourself. he is so concerned about his wife, and her feelings, as he should be morally, but look what he has done to u and your life. and theres nothing u can do about it. will pray for u.
2007-01-27 13:07:34 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋