Im afriad the first time I have sex is going to hurt very very bad, because when Im on my period, I can't use tampons anymore, because of the extreme pain I feel when i try to insert them, but obviously when I first have sex Im not going to be on my period, but Im still kind of afraid its gonna hurt, so is the fact hat it hurts so bad when i use tampons normal? ANd will my first time having sex hurt? I dont know what to do or wha to think or what to expect help me...please!!!!!!!
2007-01-27 11:59:50 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It can hurt girls and women to have sex - a lot of people will say that sex the first time will hurt, but for the most part it is myth.
It is amazing the number of girls and women who will perpetuate this myth, but in all fairness it is no surprise as so many people are ignorant about sex and the female body, and there are still a lot of taboos surrounding female sexuality and the female body that probably started off the ideas on anything to do with the genitals hurting – menstruation, child-birth, sex, none of these things need to be painful but people constantly tell girls and women that they are supposed to be painful.
People simply refuse to learn, or because they believe it will or should hurt they will think nothing of it if it does, some will even carry on having sex just to let their partners enjoy sex. Girls and women have the ability to stop sex if it hurts, try again later, demand other forms of sex prior to penetration and have every right to enjoyable sex – pain is your bodies way of telling you that something is wrong, sex should be pleasurable.
Sex the first time can hurt normally due to a few common reasons;
-Hymen breaking – this can be painful, but it is just as likely to be pleasurable or have no feeling at all, a lot of girls hymens are broken before penetrative sex so this is not an issue for them.
-Not being emotionally ready – a lot of girls and women convince themselves they are ready for sex when really they are not, they either feel pressured by friends or their partners, if not ready they will not enjoy sex and it will make sex difficult. If a girl believes sex will be painful it will be painful because they will tense up making it hard for the vagina to stretch as it should.
-Not being physically ready – only 30% of women orgasm from penetrative penis to vaginal sex, women's bodies simply are not made to be stimulated by penetration alone so need sex before penetration (i.e. foreplay) I order to make sure the vagina is lubricated enough, elongated enough, flexible enough and to make sure the clitoris is stimulated enough.
When it comes to tampon use pain can be common, tampons can hurt if they are put in incorrectly as too low down or put into the wrong hole it can be painful, pains similar to very bad menstrual cramps. Tampons can also hurt because simply your vagina is not meant to have a dry wad of material inserted into it, tampons can cause friction, irritation and splitting of the vaginal walls, they can also expand into your cervix causing pain and damage.
The above reasons for sex hurting can also be true for tampons, it may simply be that you are uncomfortable with your body or have something called vulvodynia that makes inserting anything into your vagina hurt, it can be purely psychological or it could be the sign of a medical problem - http://www.sexwithoutpain.com
If you are educated, wait till the right time and have sex with someone you love and trust who can turn you on and accepts that you need pleasure too then there is no reason for pain past medical or psychological problems.
When you have sex for the first time make sure you are comfortable, realise that sex is not like on TV as it can be messy, awkward and you may not reach orgasm, make sure the person you are with is right for you and that it is the right choice, and don't be scared to do what makes you feel good – these things will help stop sex for the first time being painful.
If you think it is going to be painful then you will tense up which will make things painful, learn all you can about your body and sex now to help you understand this for yourself.
One of the best articles on this ever written was by Scarleteen, the site is aimed at teen girls mostly however I know it helps a lot of women too, this article goes through in a simple and non-patronising way why sex could hurt and what to do about it, I seriously recommend you read through it - http://www.scarleteen.com/sexuality/owtowow.html - From Ow! To Wow!
Another very good page on first time sex is this page - http://www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin3.htm - the web site it is from is fantastic, but this page in particular will help you understand what you need to about your first time having sex and possible problems.
Some more links you should check out;
http://www.scarleteen.com
http://www.the-clitoris.com
http://www.myvag.net
http://www.vaginaverite.com
http://www.sexinfo101.com
http://www.infosex.com
http://www.sxetc.org
2007-01-27 12:53:36 · answer #1 · answered by Kasha 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello. I can understand how you can be afraid. I was in the same situation you were in three years ago. But, over the years I learned so much from my very own experiences and from my friends' experiences. First of all, every girl is different. I will just be forward with this...some girls have smaller holes than other girls so yes some will experience pain down there. When I did it for the first time, I bled a lot....the guy I lost my virginity too was kind of rough on me. If ever you have sex for the first time, your partner should respect you and your feelings. Tell your partner to insert slowly and maybe you can use lubrication. Anyway, no matter what you will still bleed a little bit because your hymen will rip when you lose your virginity. When my best friend did it she bled a little bit and was in pain a little bit. It just depends on the girl, and how rough the guy is on her and no matter what after having sex for the first time you will feel pain because your hymen is ripped. It is like that for every girl but pain is different for every girl in different degrees. For me, I was in a lot of pain and after that it also hurt for like two days when i pee. I dont want to scare you but just becareful and do it with someone you really love. I guess after you have sex maybe later you will not have a problem using tampons. ;)
2007-01-27 12:12:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure why on earth you had any further contact with him after he'd been bashing you against walls and tried to strangle you but you only seem to equate real abuse with being physically hit? Any way, this guy is seriously bad news and I'm very sure it would be very bad to had him in your life again and I definitely agree, no good at all likely to come of him having contact with this baby. You need to continue to block & ignore attempts at contact and you should ideally register your concerns with your local police. Please ensure your home is well protected with some form of burglar alarm, carry a personal alarm and don't be fooled by any attempts at this guy to get back together in any way. This is the kind of man who has little control if any of his personal urges or temper and the kind where a woman ends up dead and lots of people then come forward and say how they were afraid something like this might happen. Don't become another statistic, stay safe, stay out of touch and if you were to move then don't tell him you've gone and make sure your phone is ex-directory too. Good luck.
2016-03-29 05:36:12 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every woman is different. I remember the horror stories my friends would tell me that would have me scared. I also had a problem with discomfort with tampons. It's an anatomy thing where you vagina walls are almost touching each other. To be honest with you even after your first second third time it will still be a discomfort based on the information given.(Depending on man's penis size) Good Luck!
2007-01-27 12:13:16 · answer #4 · answered by Danie G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not supposed to hurt when you use tampons, whether you are a virgin or not. Have you seen a gynecologist about this problem? Having sex for the first time shouldn't even be on your radar, until you clear this matter up first. Please do so at once, because it could be serious!!!
2007-01-27 12:13:40 · answer #5 · answered by chevy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT WILL HURT BUT ONLY FOR A FEW MINUTES, OF COURSE WHEN YOU DO THIS, YOU HAVE TO BE RELAX AND OF COURSE WITH A MAN THAT LOVES YOU SO HE CAN TAKE CARE OF YOU.
BUT WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THIS NOW?? WHY DONT YOU WAIT UNTILL YOUR AN ADULT THAT WAY YOU CAN BE MORE PREPARED TO WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEND.
2007-01-27 12:11:46 · answer #6 · answered by ââ¢Â¥*~áƦ~NYSunrise~áƦ~*ââ¢Â¥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first time hurts like hell, but the next time will be great.
it's kinda of like beer. The first couple of times you drink it, it doesn;t taste that great but you soon develop a taste for and start to like it.
2007-01-27 13:22:00 · answer #7 · answered by midnightjoker 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wait till you get married and then take it slow. Only bad things will happen to you having sex out of marriage. That's my opinion.
2007-01-27 12:04:19 · answer #8 · answered by Buckey M 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
just hurts a bit the first time but is the best experience ever!
Then you get to love it, and wish for more more and more!
2007-01-27 12:05:47 · answer #9 · answered by tijuanita 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it hurts a lil but ull get over it b/c the pain will turn into pleasure....
2007-01-27 12:03:44 · answer #10 · answered by GiiGii 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋