We are struggling...please help me.
I know that things in your first 2 years are gonna be rocky, but now he's wanting to leave. He said he's been trying for 2 years, and he doesn't think it's gonna work out. Things haven't been easy. We're still trying to get ourselves established.
AND on top of that he's 7 yrs younger than me. I know I have been a burden sometimes...but i understand that in relationships, it's not gonna be 50/50 all of the time. But I love him so much....and I wanna work through it. He says it's too much pressure..
I have a son, that's not by him...and he's gonna be devastated if he leaves. He plans on telling him tomorrow...
PLEASE HELP ME.......WHAT DO I DO?????????????????????/
2007-01-27 11:58:35 · 19 answers · asked by Unbreakable 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
marriage counseling?
2007-01-27 12:02:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say why its been rocky so its harder to help. If you love him, then listen to him without interrupting and without adding anything. try to get a clear picture of what is wrong.
A marriage deserves every chance. If you haven't had counselling, then now would be good.
Maybe if you let him go for a break somewhere, like a month, he will regroup and be willing to try again, try not to panic just because he is leaving that doesn't mean the end of anything really.
Even if he won't go to counselling, YOU go. It really helps to talk things over with a trained person outside the situation. The last thing you need is relatives and friends weighing in with their opinions because they are not going to be objective.
Be very calm and organised. Love will win out if you give it time. If he doesn't come back, then he never really loved you. OR you have done something unforgiveable that he can't forgive. Forgiving is a really hard thing to do, but its better than holding onto hurt. Good luck, thinking of you.
2007-01-27 12:10:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A marriage is never 50/50, some days it might be 70/30 or 60/40 but whatever the percentage is a marriage is based on love.
All I can tell you is...... PRAY. Pray without ceasing. Ask God to help you with this situation after all the Bible says "What God has joined together let no man out asunder." (Matthew).
P.S. You must change before anything or anyone else will.
2007-01-27 12:14:51 · answer #3 · answered by wisdom_women 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to sit down with your husband and tell him that you're sorry you've been a burden, and just pretty much explain to him what you've told everybody here. Tell him you love him, and don't want the relationship to be over, and tell him you're confident that you can work together to make the relationship last. And, if he'll listen to you, ask him to think of the way you were both to begin with, because, if he married you, he most probably loved you and wanted to be with you in a relationship once.
Just ask him to give you a second chance.
I hope this helps, and if you're unsure the advice I've given you will work, then maybe don't try it, I have not been married before, but I am in a long term relationship.
2007-01-27 12:05:26 · answer #4 · answered by Amy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you should not have gotten married in the first place. It does not sound like he was ready for this marriage.
The two of you need to sit down and really discuss this. Let him say everything on his mind and see if there is any hope. If he is not prepared to save your marriage you will have to let him go, since he has felt this for the entire marriage.
The age difference is most likely not a factor, but the 50/50 issue probably is. If your marriage is not 50/50 it will fail. Both parties have to compromise issue by issue.
Take care,
Troy
2007-01-27 12:09:37 · answer #5 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all sit down and Breathe!!! Calm down:) Sit down and talk with him and ask him why he is wanting to leave and why he feels it is not going to work out... You need to offer counseling and even marriage counseling to him and see if he is open to it but at the same time if he does not love you and wants out of the marriage then let him go even though it will be very hurtful to you and your son... You cannot make someone love and want to be with you... The Bible does say that if the spouse wants out and is not pleased to dwell with you then let them go ... You are not under bondage in this case.... I am here if you need to talk more about this and i wish you the best and will be praying and thinking of you and your situation... I hope things will get better for you soon... Hugs to you and your son today.
2007-01-27 12:06:54 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about this. Let's face one fact.....if he wants to leave, you're not going to be able to keep him home. Maybe he's immature, or maybe you and him are just incompatible. Your little boy will be devastated, but he'll get over it. Just be there for your son is all I can tell you to do. I wish things were different for you. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-01-27 12:11:00 · answer #7 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God will go to great lengths to save or restore a marrage. Get on your knees and pray. Let down any pride you might have, yet be as strong as you can. Put your son out of the picture for the moment. Its between you and your husband.
2007-01-27 12:09:14 · answer #8 · answered by Just Me 2008 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl maybe your ages are a factor in this, or this could be his nice way of telling you that he just does not feel the same as he did before and he's just really not ready for the family life and the responsibilities now, and it has taken him this long to figure it out. I know it hurts but let him go, find someone who will be there for you know matter what hard times or not. He's out there you just have to wait, think of yourself and your child, not him. Maybe he's not what is meant to be. take care!
2007-01-27 12:07:27 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married to someone 10 years younger than myself. We were married for 11 years and then I decided I did not want another child (him). I know that breaking up is hard, but if he is willing to just give up this early in your marriage, what is it going to be like if he stays.
I know it is hard to lose someone you love, but do you want someone who does not love you. If he did love you he would stay no matter what. Love is unconditional and if he doesn't get that he is not worth it.
Find someone that is willing to stay by yourside no matter what.
I know this is probably not what you were looking for, but be strong things will work out. God Bless
2007-01-27 12:10:21 · answer #10 · answered by Gale 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is determined to leave u cant stop it. it will be painful for u but right now u have to focus on the effect of the fallout of his leaving to ur son. u have to be strong at least in front of him and help him heal. dont overlook ur own feelings and what u will go through but at least be strong until ur by yourself. dont beat urself up about this maybe you guys need a break and can enter counseling if not u have to move forward if not for ur own sanity but for ur sons.
2007-01-27 12:52:04 · answer #11 · answered by ray g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋