should i talk to other woman?

Question

my husband is having an affair. i know where the other woman lives, her phone number and email address. should i talk to her?

Answer 1

Why? What has she done? She probably knows nothing about you. So, it is not her fault. You NEED to be dealing with your nasty, low-down cheating husband.

Answer 2

Talk to your husband. Do not Fight. It's best to talk in the presence of a mediator or counselor. It is best to have an impartial witness. You should be able then to find out why he would be willing to sacrafice the time that you both invested in cultivating a relationship. If you have children together, you have to be able to find out the cause for the disorder that has prompted this affair. This is also why I suggested a counselor.

Most affairs start before the offending party even meets their future lover. If a person is not happy in any way or feel that they are inadequate with their current life, they start to subconsciously look for a way out of it. A counselor,preacher, or mediator can help you both sort out your issues with each other. The marriage isn't one sided. It takes two to effectively make the bond work. You both would not have made the commitment if you had doubts in each other.
Try to find each other again and if you simply can't save the life you both had, move on. I wish you the best of luck to the both of you in this trying time. I am sure that you will be fine no matter the outcome. Be strong and if you both have any love left for the marriage and for each other it will work.

Answer 3

In all honesty, talking to the other woman isn't going to change her mind about your husband. I have confronted the woman who I believe is having an affair. I have sent her emails, have called her, have let my daughter call her and have even seen her. I tried to explain everything to her that we were going through and she still won't let go of him. It's useless because if she thinks she loves him, she's not going to go any where. I guess if the other woman doesn't know he's married then I would talk to her.

The problem is really with your husband. If he cares enough about you and saving your marriage, he won't need you to step in and try to end things.

If he can't end it on his own, then I would consider divorce.

Answer 4

It depends on "how" you are going to talk to her - will it be in anger or openly discussing like adults about what is going on.

If you are looking for a fight - then think about this - is jail time worth it - or something even worse?

Do you want to work it out with your husband? - I know I am asking more questions than answering yours - but you must try to look at every angle of this issue. If you are calm and level headed - yes I would call her - and if you intend to stay with your husband let her know that as well. I think if you approach it on this level and not violence or hatred then she might realize that she is in the wrong and not have anything more to do with him as well.

Answer 5

E-mail her first. One thing you did not say was does your husband know you know he is cheating on you? When emailing just ask about thing in general then ask about your spouse maybe ( hope for your sake) she does not know he is married. Then let her know and set up a " by chance" encounter were you all will be at the same time and see what happens. But if she does know (which maybe hard to find out ) the let her have it and then go to a lawyer and let her have him!

Answer 6

I don't understand why you would go after the woman when it's your husband who's doing the cheating.

You should confront your husband first and foremost and then call her in front of him and tell them you know about their relationship and that it's over, have your husband repeat the same thing to her in front of you and then...decide whether you want to continue being with your husband or not.

Answer 7

Would it make you feel better? She may already know he is married and not care, if you think you can handle what you may get as a response and it will make you feel better then go for it.

But be prepared for anything, I was in that situation once, I think your best recourse is to confront him and tell him to make a choice, her or you and if he can't make that choice tell him that you will make it for him.... GET OUT!

That's what I did, I have since learned that the other woman was also married and older then I, go figure, so much for men going after younger woman.

Anyway right now you need to think about what you need to feel better, if your prepared for her response either way then do it, if not just confront him.

Good Luck either way it's going to hurt

Answer 8

Why do I get the feeling that "talk" is not all you want to do to her?What good would it do to talk to her? She is going to lie, because that's what cheaters do. If you have the proof you need, to prove she is having an affair with your husband, your "talking" should be done by walking. He's as guilty as she is...it takes two to have an affair. Talk, NO! Walk? YES!

Answer 9

Why? She's not having an affair with herself. You should be talking to your husband. HE made the choice to make himself available to have an affair, she just took him up on his offer.

Answer 10

I wouldn't email. But I think it might be good to either talk to her on the phone or in person. Very calmly confront her to let her know you know what is going on. It may make her feel guilty if she has any compassion at all.

Answer 11

Hell yeah tell her that you are gonna sue her for alienation of affections because she is ruining your marriage and then maybe she will back off if not talk to a lawyer and sue your husband too and then file fr a divorce.