Husband has been acting like a world class jerk but will not admit it or the fact that he has hurt my feelings.
2007-01-27 11:26:49 · 27 answers · asked by blaak_grl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
big fat egos or just pricks
2007-01-27 11:29:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are asking why, is it hard for a man to admit he is or was wrong? I have been married for a long time and my husband is always a jerk when he knows what he says or does, hurt me, or my feelings. I am not talking sometimes but to me it seems like always, I have known by now that he will never change and that I have to put up with his ways, if I want there to be peace between us. In your case I would recommend for you to talk to your husband, about the way you feel when he acts this way and you love him but he needs to show some maturity, so your Marriage will be able to survive. Good luck and I hope all goes well between you two.
2007-01-27 12:32:01 · answer #2 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear he hurt your feelings !
I do not take side, I will just ask you questions for you to answer and to ask. From there you can find your own answers.
There is a very big difference between man and woman perceptions of the world around us.
Men are oblivious to many women display of feelings while women are totally oblivious to men way to display of emotions.
Both have very different priorities and wants.
Here are my questions :
When your husband acted in what you think is wrong, did he know he was hurting your feelings ? How did he find out ? When did he find out ? When you told him, did he continue to do it ?
Are others who were there also telling him he acted wrong ?
What was his answer ? Did he continue ?
If nobody said anything, are you being hypersensitive about that special topic ?
Have you told him that he hurt your feelings ? Have you told what part of his actions or words did hurt your feelings ? Have you told him how much it hurt ?
If he is a loving and Honourable man, he will apologize and try to repair his wrong doing ! If he does not, ask him why you should remain with him ?
You may have decisions to make when you will get your answers from him. Remember it is better to make the tough choices while you still can, when children are involved, these decisions are much tougher to make, but even more necessary
Good luck and courage.
2007-01-27 12:49:04 · answer #3 · answered by Alain G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL! Just dealt w/the same problem tonight. I'm convinced it is the result of some faulty "wiring" in their brains! (maybe the aliens abducted only males and put whacko implants in their grey-matter to de-stabilize civilization! It DOES have that effect.)
Even tho' my husband's been in therapy for a couple yrs., he STILL takes at least a couple days to admit he's wrong!
You know how they have groups for guys who beat their wives? Well, they should have 'em for guys who can't admit they're wrong! And guys who can't say they're sorry or put down the toilet seat...and so on!
MAN! They're messed up (usually by their abusive and/or distant fathers)! Men are always quoting that dumb saying, "Women! Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em"... well, Doi!
WE could say that about almost everything they do!
The answer? Women need to STOP putting up with it and threaten to ditch their men if they don't get real. Men are SO deathly afraid of being alone, that's the ONLY time you can get them to admit they're wrong!
2007-01-27 14:33:34 · answer #4 · answered by SieglindeDieNibelunge 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not hard to "admit." It's hard to see or figure out.
No man is a mind-reader. If you're not up-front to your husband about what you need and want from him, he isn't going to know.
Married men who love their wives do not wake up in the morning intending to be bad to their wives.
Your husband is probably feeling guilty. He probably wishes
that he knew what you wanted him to do for you.
Consider this also: If your husband took orders from you,
waited on you to tell him how he should behave, would you
still respect him? Most men don't want their mothers doing
that to them.
If it's real bad abuse, verbal or physcial, let him live on his own
long enough to understand that you can't tolerate it from him.
IF he's really being a jerk, you might want to find out what's
really bothering him. If he's not paying attention to your
feelings, then he is paying attention to something that
eats at him. Something else is bothering him.
2007-01-27 11:48:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard for anyone to admit that he/she is wrong, but a mature person will live up to that obligation. It sounds like you already know the answer...he's a world class jerk.
2007-01-27 11:42:34 · answer #6 · answered by la buena bruja 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This all depends on the guy or husband... My husband will admit when he is wrong and he does not have a problem doing so. Since your husband is this way love him where he is at and apologize when you do something wrong and do not nag or hound him when you know he is wrong... Two wrongs do not make a right. Talk to him and tell him how you are feeling and let him know that he has hurt your feelings But at the same time if you do something that is not right and you hurt his feelings then you need to apologize to him and ask him to forgive you because you were wrong in what you did.... If you do this regurally and make a habit of it he may pick up on it and change someday.... Treat him the way that you want him to treat you and remember this.... We cannot change our spouses the only one that we have power to change at all is us to be the better spouses that we need to be to and for them.
2007-01-27 11:38:47 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This is mainly due to the direct violation of a key rule in the mancode. That is to say A man can not admit wrong doings per the code.
It can not be explained.
But may be due to force/required listening of females talking about things they know nothing about but claim to be experts in or on.
this of course is just a theory
2007-01-27 11:34:45 · answer #8 · answered by djtzclark 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All people in different walks of life has pride in them self, that is a human being trait. I will not accuse my husband or boy friend of his wrong doing,in a bruttal way,like he commited a crime, of course ,he will become defensive. I will talk to him in a nice and respectful way to settle the problems. You bet,he will respond the same way. There is no such thing as world class jerk HUSBAND unless you treated him that way....Men are human being too ........
2007-01-27 11:53:52 · answer #9 · answered by Vannili 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ego ego ego, being a man means not saying your wrong. you need to express your feelings without yelling and get it through his head that you were hurt for every husband its different. here's a thought get him all hot and bothered and then walk away saying thats how it feels to have your feelings hurt don't feel to good does it, hope this don't happen to you again!
2007-01-27 11:35:54 · answer #10 · answered by pa625 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's their pride. Which doesn't make sense because I think a man should feel proud that he is a good husband and knows he makes his wife happy, rather than unhappy.
2007-01-27 11:31:22 · answer #11 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋