a broken marraige four children an alchohoic son and total lonliness?

Question

twice married but still alone. i give until it hurts and then just sit back and wait for more dont mention aa or alanon because they have no answer .I feel so guilty because biologically i gave birth to an alchoholic son , a totally selfish daughter and twins so remote from normal life that they prefer to watch dickie birds and i can do nothing but die

Answer 1

Mam, you really need to see a doctor....or at least a trusted friend to talk to. You're blaming yourself for the faults of others. It's NOT your fault. If the kids are grown, they are making their own decisions. I'm sure you, like the rest of us, did the best you could in raising our kids....don't let that monkey on your back! Not your fault now what they do!! Good Luck!!

Answer 2

I am so sorry for your sadness. We give birth, love and nurture are children. Guide them, tell them right from wrong until they leave our homes. We have no control;l over what they do with their lives so stop blaming yourself.
I have had broken marriages too and know your pain and loneliness. Talk to your Dr and tell him exactly how you feel. Talk to anyone minister friend anyone. You'll be surprised at the people who care about you.
Look at the answers you most likely will get here and it's because we care and we are strangers.
I think if you get out around people talking you'll feel much better. Do you know there is someone waiting for you to enter their lives and enrich it. Volunteer at nursing homes hospital, children's home. Give your self a purpose in life. Hold your head high and walk tall. Margaret things will be just fine.

Answer 3

You certainly have had a rough time. At this point, maybe all you can do is focus your energy on those less fortunate, whether it be people or animals.This process may allow you to release anger, remorse and refill your tank with the joy you knew before. You'll do fine and learn to live with what you cannot control or change. Maybe you've been lead to this point in your life to do good things for someone else.

Answer 4

Hey Margaret!! Feeling guilty is punishing yourself for what other people do, even if it is your own family . You have lived your life and done your best . That is all that is expected from you. Now it is time to let them live theirs, If they fall , show them that you are there for them. You have been alone because you feel so inadequate but love yourself a little and let others into your heart. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Being a victim is an act of fate, remaining one is your own decision. I respect you for your ability to survive all that has happened and for your strength in sharing it.

Answer 5

I can not tell you how much I am feeling your pain. I have a simular situation.

I'm thinking about sitting down, and writting a complete list of what I would want in a roommate (not a BF or husband), then try to find a roomie to share bills and such.
Perhaps some really awsome guy will be my roommate and ....well... never mind i have to get out of fairy world.

Answer 6

wow...sucks don't it? I think you need to get mentally healthy first. Accept that you can't change everything around you. And be happy with who you are. Until you are healthy, you will not be able to help the kids.

As far as being lonely...I think once you fill the void inside you and become a comoplete person...then your lonliness will go away and you might even find someone. But don't ever expect that having someone will make you happy.... he can enhance your life, not complete it. Only you can complete yourself. Go get some professional counseling.

Answer 7

You have received some really great advice here, take what people are telling you. You are not to blame for your children and their problems, if they are grown adults. Life is what we make it regardless of the situation we are in. We must try to persevere even in the toughest times. You have failed marriages, lots of people do, you have children with problems, lots of people do, you are lonely, lots of people are. I think you are in a state of depression, you should pray and see a doctor soon for some medical assistance. Remember the saying "this to shall pass". You Willl survive this, you will grow from this, you will learn from this, you wil live through this.

Answer 8

Well honey it doesn't seem like you're very fond of your children, you can't feel that way towards them because it shows. And they can tell you don't care about them. So they'll act out. You're a grown woman, you have to take care of your children. Your son is an alcoholic but you're supposed to love him no matter what. If you have ever drunk around your son, or let others do it. It's your fault. Your children are a reflection of you. You don't really have a question, you're stating your feelings about your situation. When you have kids their needs become your needs that what happens when you have children......You have to live for them........for yourself.

Answer 9

I got problem with my marriage too. I'm not happy with my marriage but im still married to the same guy. Got a kid, that stopped me from divorcing him. I feel guilty in some way too, coz its my fault i married his dad. The hardest job in the world is to raise kids. I hope my gon won't grow up to be like his dad. But they said, like father, like son. A good tree always bear a good fruit. Try to count your blessing. That's what I'm doing and i got friends who knows how to listen without them, life is so unbearable.

Answer 10

you cannot die and you CAN do something else... You need to get counseling and help for what you are feeling.... You need to heal and try to help yourself learn how to deal with all of this... Tell and help your son to get into AA or something like that so he can start to work on and deal with his alcoholism... You also need to get your son help and if you dont then you are enabling him to keep on doing what he is doing. First things first though you need to work on you before you can help or be a help to and for your kids.