Telling him isnt enough. He says he needs to feel it. He says making his dinners and doing his laundry are chores, they don't show him my love. Im a stay at home mom, no money, how can I show him that I love him in a way that he will like. He's a little hard to please. Too many movie nights, laying around cuddling, hes gotten used to it. Thats not enough anymore. Please help me. I do love him, I just never had a stable home with love in it growing up so i have no model to base it off of. Weve been together 3 years and things arent like they were in the beginning.
2007-01-27 10:19:33 · 8 answers · asked by Candy C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If your having given birth to his children does not show him you love him, if your being their everyday when he comes home doesn't show him, if your willingness to cuddle, snuggle, have sex and fights with him doesn't show him then, honey, he doesn't know what love is. Perhaps, he's getting bored with his life and can't blame himself so it must be you!
I suspect he's missing the infatuation he felt when he first fell for you - but that is not love. I don't remember where I heard this but it is the best description of love I know:
Love is not staring into each other's eyes, love is standing shoulder to shoulder while heading toward your goals.
Maybe you could start a date night swap with one or more of your friends...you keep theirs for their date night, they keep yours. Or, perhaps a grandparent would like spending time with them while you two steal a little alone time. A day time assignation - cleared with his boss first - can be very exciting...(kidnap him for it.)
Be sure to spend time for yourself, learn new things, wear makeup everyday just so he'll know you're trying to look good and be good company.
Good luck, sweetie.
2007-01-27 10:43:55 · answer #1 · answered by txkathidy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The problem definitely doesn't lie with you. He sounds like he has some sort of insecurity going on.
Give him lots of hugs and kisses. Tell him you love him more than usual. Maybe give him a massage.
Like I said, the problem is not you. It sounds like he is going through something. Even so, it is great that you are not being a stinker and acknowledging that people go through things sometime and need reassurance. I think this alone speaks volumes on your love for him. If all else fails just explain to him that you want him to tell you what he wants from you. If he tries giving you that crap of "If I have to tell you then it won't mean as much." Tell him, "The fact that you are trying to find out what he needs so that you can be accommodating should tell him a lot." If you didn't love him then you wouldn't care or be trying. Good luck.
2007-01-27 19:03:35 · answer #2 · answered by mccmb02 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's doing alot of taking and not very much giving. Be careful, the more you give a man, the more they want. If at all possible get a job so you won't be left on the street penniless when the mood hits him.
2007-01-27 20:02:41 · answer #3 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Best Ways To Say I Love You
Have you ever felt at a loss for words or ways to describe your feelings for your partner? At some point in any relationship the need for a sentimental or unique way to say I love you comes up. Below are a few ideas!
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
1.Place notes in your lover's lunch telling him how much you love him.
2.Page you sweetheart with an I Love You page.
3.Give her a soft kiss.
4.Make everyday things special.
5.Give your love a little note or sending him an e-mail with a poem in it.
6.Listen to her every word.
7.Making a list of everything you love about them. No matter how stupid.
8.Spend quality time with the one you love.
9.Have flowers delivered with a note attached saying simply, "I love you."
10.Give unexpected hugs and kisses in unexpected places.
11.Cook them their favorite meal.
12.Hold each other when you fall asleep.
13.Just be together.
14.Give your love a long hard kiss on the lips, followed by a gift.
15.Sending romantic postcards on a daily basis.
16.Get off work early and surprise your sweetheart with a dozen roses and dinner, just because.
17.Spend all week thinking of something special for the weekend and then... do it!
18.Give him a loving smile from across the room.
19.Draw or obtain a new romantic picture of two lovers in each others grasp and give it to your love as a reminder of your passion.
20.If you live quite a distance from your love, surprise them with a visit.
21.When she is asleep in the morning, cover her with rose petals and wake her up to an I love you breakfast in bed.
22.Secretly write S-H-M-I-L-Y anywhere your lover will find it. SHMILY= See How Much I Love You.
23.Rub your nose on your sweetheart's nose!
24.Grab him by the waist, pulling him towards you, then softly touching his lips with yours.
25.Have a romantic weekend.
26.For a week, smothering your spouse with all the small intimate things they like.
27.Share a bottle of wine and a rose....
28.Do a simple act of kindness, such as a backrub when he feels sick, to brighten his day.
29.Make a big sign (like the ones you use for demonstrations) quoting "Did my heart love 'til now? Forswear it sight, for I never saw true beauty 'til this night."
30.Make a web page for your girlfriend to tell her how much you love her.
31.Write long, erotic letters where you describe how much you love them.
Just Say It...
1.Whisper I love you in his ear while dancing a romantic slow melody.
2.Sitting outside under that stars and say, "I have never felt so special before... I owe this to you. I love you."
3.Creep up on your lover and whisper I love you in their ear.
4.In the middle of your partner's conversation with someone else, lean over and whisper I love you in their ear.
5.Scream I love you (name here) on a rollercoaster ride.
6.When you know it will be your partner on the phone say I love you right when you answer it.
7.Look into her eyes, hold her hands and then silently whisper I love you.
8.When you are doing an everyday thing, just look at him, and lean over, give him a little peck and say I love you.
The best idea was summed up in following comment: The best way of saying I love you is showing it every moment, with every action, look, movement, kiss or words.
2007-01-27 18:53:39 · answer #4 · answered by michael45672007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spend time with him like giving him a body massage and doing things with him that he likes to do. Hmmm try spicing things up in the bedroom for and with him.
2007-01-27 19:05:37 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can go with a super body massage. but mostly, it doesn't matter. you don't have to keep proving your love over and over again. if your both in love - it doesn't really matter.
beyond that, if he has a special interest you can have him do that. not sure why you don't have money. if he works and your married - wouldn't you both have money? or is it an allowance thing?
2007-01-27 18:46:34 · answer #6 · answered by mike s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take a trip with kids without him like go visit your parents for a week or so.....make him miss you
2007-01-27 19:28:01 · answer #7 · answered by jouri1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is not yours. He needs to find whats wrong with him.
2007-01-27 18:22:58 · answer #8 · answered by lovehateleavestay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋