there is no easy way to answer your question without being very blunt. your father is an abuser. when angry he looses all control, and strikes out in angry physically. he needs professional help and so does your mother. if you pay close attention you will learn that her self esteem is very low, and she does everything she can to keep his anger to a min. she feels that she has no other options but to stay with him at this time. do not hate your father, more and more believe this is a mental health problem, and until they both admit honestly that it exists no one can help them. you do have options which your parents wont disclose with you, i suggest you talk to a school councilor who can best advise you in what your own options are.
2007-01-27 10:04:27
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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Your father has a real problem and so does your mum. You need to be very careful how you deal with this because statistics say that abusers were once the abused, so you dad could be you. If you father beats your mother or threatens her life call the police, start to get the behaviour in the open. The more people who know the more likely your parents might be shamed into doing something for themselves. If it all gets too much for you perhaps you are better off out of that environment
2007-01-27 10:32:02
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answer #2
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answered by smilingtalker_au 4
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I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Your mother is in denial about what is happening to her. She is not thinking of herself or the impact on the family. Unfortunately this is the typical cycle of domestic abuse. The reasons people choose to endure abuse vary - sometimes they feel responsible for making the abuser "angry", lack of financial indepedence, fear, low self-esteem, former child-abuse victim. I could on and on, but I think you get my point.
If you haven't told her how this affects you (nightmares, fear, etc..) then you should tell your parents. Do not suggest that they break-up, because they might get defensive and tell you to mind your own business. Instead request that you attend therapy sessions, this might prompt them to come along and participate.
I think you are on the right path to identifying that this type of behavior is not normal, but you can only help those that wish to be helped. So put the focus on how you are going to deal with this until they are ready as a family to make changes.
Good Luck and God Bless!!
2007-01-27 10:29:18
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answer #3
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answered by anosey1 4
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You know sweety. and it really shouldnt be going on. No matter how much you and your mom both love your dad. Maybe you can try and ask him why when he gets so angry he does that, becuase you guys dont deserve that at all. YOu know.. it takes something life changing to stop the way he acts like that... And I can tell you right now, the reason why your mom doesnt say anything is because shes scared of what hes gonna do hun... trust me.. Try and help him change hun.
2007-01-27 10:18:41
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answer #4
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answered by Nena 2
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You know what girl you have brought tears to my eyes so I have to say to you I went threw similar things.Things was so serious that I would go to school and not be able to concentrate because I thought my step dad would kill my mom while was at school.So listen to me when I say just pray about it in keep your head up because your mom knows better so in the mean time try to think positive and find you a true friend that you can talk too.Also although you are going threw this try not to have your dwell on this you think how you would not go threw this and how you would try to keep your children from going threw the same things.
2007-01-27 10:18:16
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answer #5
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answered by weeping eyes 2
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It's difficult, but next time he's beating on you or your mom, call the police when it's safe on the same day, and report it. He needs counseling to deal with his anger management.
I never struck my ex-wife, but she use to throw things, pans, knives, meat cleavers, kitchen chairs and even canned goods at me when she would get angry.
My step-daughter called the police one day she was 11 and was tired of the way her mother was acting. The cops arrived and first put me in handcuffs, until the daughter told them it was her mother that was doing the hitting and throwing things.
But, the cops at first didn't believe her until they looked at all the scratches, and cut's on me and not a mark on my wife. They cuffed her up and hauled her butt to jail.
Just call the cops you will be doing your mom and the rest of the family a big favor as your dad needs help with his anger issues and the courts will make him get help for it.
2007-01-27 09:55:28
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answer #6
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answered by michael_trussell 4
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you still feel like there is something you can do to protect your mom, and thats fine the way you feel. but if she wants to accept the beatings then there really is nothing you can do about it, unless you call the police or get them into counselling somewhere. you and your dad might need to have a calm conversation about whats been going on and you tell him how you feel about it. i just hope you don't grow up to be like him, because alot of times kids see things like that and then they end up doing it or letting it be done to them. now you could get some counselling as well to deal with your pain and hurt and frustration towards him, but talking to him and your mom together might bring him to see that it wasn't right and make him realize that he was wrong and make him change his ways.
2007-01-27 10:00:01
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answer #7
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answered by ken's princess 2
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Just be there for both of them. Its not right how they behave. But their your mom and dad. Maybe if you voice how sick and twisted a relationship like theirs is they may take it upon themselves to go to therapy. Let them know how you feel. It is your problem too. Your their child. They should have some respect for you as they child they brought into this world.
2007-01-27 10:21:41
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answer #8
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answered by lovehateleavestay 2
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It is normal that you cant let it go after all it was JUST last month. He could go off at any time. Talk to a counselor, get help for yourself. Your mom may be in denial. Try to talk to her and tell her how you feel.
2007-01-27 09:51:09
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answer #9
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answered by chemky1 3
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your mother is the typical abused woman who puts up with it until they are either seriously hurt or they end up dead...it is a very sad situation and you should not have to live like that...talk to a teacher, priest, close relative and try and get some help for your family....good luck
2007-01-27 09:54:46
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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