Almost everyday at lunch a co-worker talks about how there must be "something wrong in your marriage" and how it is going to get bad, etc... How do you tell him to shut up in the most tactful way? I am a professional at work and at first I brushed it off but I am starting to feel harassed. I don't really say anyhthing because I feel I do not have to stick up for my marriage. I am very happy and I think miserable people do not like to see people happy. By the way, this man is cheating on his wife with my co-worker and he is an active alcohalic. I know he is miserable. I just pity him. Should I continue to ignore him, hoping he will stop or say something?
2007-01-27 08:59:05 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am a woman, by the way.
2007-01-27 09:17:22 · update #1
I appeciate everyone's feedback. I think I will try to continue to change the subject, or take my turkey sandwich back to my office...
2007-01-27 09:18:23 · update #2
Don't let some two-timing, miserable, alcoholic rob you of your joy of marriage! He's just jealous that you have a marriage that is working!!
2007-01-27 09:05:28 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing I would do is nicely say to him, thank you for your concern but my private life is no ones business but mine. I assure you I am quite happy with it and would appreciate it if you would refrain from discussing it any further, Subject Closed.
If that doesn't stop him them report it to your supervisor, its mental harassment.
However, my question to you would be, how does he know anything about your private life to discuss, your private life should never have been brought into the workplace. If he is just guessing then he is just a jerk and deserves to be shut down.
If you gave him the ammunition by telling him things then you need to stop giving anyone any of your private business in the workplace.
You don't need to nor should you have to defend your marriage to anyone, its your business and no one else's
2007-01-27 20:20:09 · answer #2 · answered by unknown friend 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that he's is being very unprofessional and that you don't appreciate comments about other people's marriages. Thats the NICE way to tell him. Personally, I would just blast him with the facts; ie: "What does a cheating, no good drunk know about marriage?" Then I'd tell him to "Shut the f*ck up".
2007-01-27 17:05:11 · answer #3 · answered by freedom34_2000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Silence does not beget silence. Tell this person that if he concentrated as much on his own marriage as he seems to do yours, maybe he wouldn't feel it necessary to look for gratification in a bottle of booze or in the company trim. That should get the point across.
2007-01-27 17:08:53 · answer #4 · answered by rtanys 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would he say those things? Ugh. Either tell him to mind his own business or stop eating lunch with him. Does he know that you know about his affair with the coworker?
Maybe you could make a bargain with him. If he never comments on your personal life again, you won't tell his wife about his affair.
2007-01-27 17:05:09 · answer #5 · answered by ginger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to shut the heck up.And to not open his mouth about things that aren't his concern.And inform him if he does you will tell his wife about his affair.Or file a complaint with his boss.He is causing you to have to work in a hostel environment.Which in some places are against the law and against company policy in some larger companies.
2007-01-27 17:23:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them to shut their hole and find something better to do. Insecure people have an interesting way of hurting other people to make themselves feel better. You could either be cordial and tell him to shut his mouth, or not say anything at all. Your marriage is nobody else's business. Who cares what they say? I bet they are just jealous. Ignore it, you're better than that.
2007-01-27 17:15:39 · answer #7 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ooo you know hve some fun... tell him outlandish stories... about maybe how your wife got a new job making tons of money, and now she dresses up in awesoe out fits, and shes been doing Kegels and you cant even do house chores cuz you cant stop thinking about havinf sex with her... yeah stuff like that, that what i would do to shut people up make them extremely uncomortable to the point where they dont want to talk about it because they'll be jealous
2007-01-27 17:11:51 · answer #8 · answered by Jane Doe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't give him any details of your private life, he can only make generalizations, and how can that hurt? The less you say, the sooner it will stop. If you feel you have to tell him to stop, just say "Change the subject, this is boring me."
2007-01-27 17:07:05 · answer #9 · answered by kk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alcoholics are the worst type of people. They dont actually see what their doing as wrong. Dont let their ignorance bother you. Alcoholics are devoted to making someone else feel as bad as they do.
2007-01-27 17:23:30 · answer #10 · answered by lovehateleavestay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋